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Teletubbies

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They wear bras, unlike hippies
They wear bras, unlike hippies
Baby Jesus
Baby Jesus
Comrades arise! You have nothing to lose but your chains.
Comrades arise! You have nothing to lose but your chains.


Not since Sesame Street has there been such an edutaining programme as Teletubbies, with its strong anti-drugs and anti-homosexuality message. An instant hit with Christians and Ann Coulter, the programme provides a savage indictment of a hedonistic lifestyle and shows the consequences of being a gay liberal living in LaLa Land.

Contents

[edit] Dramatis Personae

  • Po

A Moaist communist - the archtypical red - Po suffers from a stumpy's Napoleon complex and threatens people with a circular ball. The symbol above Po's head represents the Azn rising sun and portends global domination by 2010.

  • LaLa

Based loosely on Paris Hilton, LaLa (from LA, geddit?) is the typical amoral member of the Meedya, spreading porn and anti-American propaganda through our children's tellyboxes.

  • Tinky Winky

FaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagGOT

  • Dipsy

Nigger.

  • Barnie

A purple dinosaur who is the genial traditionalist face of brain-washing. Obviously meant to be from an ethic minority and proof that man and dinosaur co-existed.

  • NooNoo

A symbol of the military-industrial complex, this leviathan sweeps across the Teletubbies landscape,hooting like one of the Martian tripods and sucking up innocent rabbits as it goes.

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  • Baby Jesus

This yellow-faced charlatan gazes down from the heavens gurgling nonsense and promising a "happy bedtime" in the afterlife.

[edit] Teletubbies tackle religion

omg wtf teletubbies pr0n:

[edit] Teletubbies tackle politics

Typical polemic from a Teletubbies Fan Forum about the overthrow of Western civilization
Typical polemic from a Teletubbies Fan Forum about the overthrow of Western civilization
the guys doing what they do best...getting it on with your mom
the guys doing what they do best...getting it on with your mom

[edit] Typical Teletubbies script excerpt

Episode 666: "Mother Courage and Her Children"

Tinky-Winky: "For that little bird whisper in your ear
"That's all very well but wait a year
And we will join the big brass band
And with our trumpet in our hand
We will march in lockstep with the rest.
But one day, look! The battalions wheel!
The whole thing swings from east to west!
And falling on our knees, we squeal:
Baby Jesus, He knows best!"

LaLa: "Eh oh!"

[edit] The Fimbles

A Republican repost to the anarchic free-loving Teletubbies [1]


[edit] In The Night Garden

A typical scene from In The Night Garden
A typical scene from In The Night Garden

Remember that bit in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor had to be drugged and restrained to stop her wrecking her cell and doing pull-ups on the bedstead?

This is what will happen to you if you watch In The Night Garden [2]. Created from the nightmares of William S. Burroughs, this atrocity is narrated by Sir Derek Jacobi (the Master from Doctor Who) and feature Upsy Daisy, Igglepiggle, Makka Pakka, the Pontipines, the Wottingers, the Haahoos and three Tombliboos who live in Hieronymus Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights. Akin to the torture scene in Clockwork Orange.



[edit] External links

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