The Chanese Federation
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
The Chanese Federation is a newly formed island nation located in the North Atlantic. It is situated between North America and Europe so we'll have ties to all the good first world countries and the rest of the filth of the world won't bother us because we're near the best. The Chanese Federation was officially proposed at least 100 years ago and came into fruition on the historic day of 06/23/08.
The land that is now occupied by The Chanese Federation seemingly popped up out of no where. Chanese seemingly flocked at random as well. When asked where the land mass and population came from, locals usually mention Ebaumsworld, although that location is a mystery as well.
Ethnic Chanese have been fighting for a country to call their own since at least 2004, if at all. The Chanese Federation's origins are a mystery as well. It seems as though the locals know jack shit about their own location. Perhaps the interweb donated The Chanese Federation as a sign of their own faggotry; that they were afraid of the Internet Hate Machine.
Valiant Chanese finally got their wish on 06/23/08 when the relevant *chan states were formed and joined the Federation to form a country they could call their own.
Since The Chanese Federation is still a young country, laws, regulations, and leadership have yet to be determined. Its history is still being written.
The capital, Federation City, is located here.
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[edit] Etymology
The Chanese Federation gets its name from the joining of all relevant *chans locations on the interweb. The name 'Chan' was brought to attention due to 4chan, One of the Chanese Federation's largest constituent states, which is the largest English language imageboard in the whole freakin' world!!1oneone But actually, you can put the blame on Futaba Channel aka 2chan which is where 4chan crawled out of in the first place; therefore Futaba Channel is the real power.
During the initial proclamation of The Chanese Federation the country was to be deemed 4chania. Some of the/b/tards were quick to point out that calling the new nation 4chania would alienate the other *chans and arguably be a hidden message of any hidden or blatant attempts of 4chan's hegemony over the other chans, so the new name came as a result.
[edit] History
The Chanese interwebians have been raging about having a country of their own since at least last Thursday. Finally, the shit hit the fan and they decided to quit bawwwwing about everything and form 4chania, later to be named The Chanese Federation.
A mighty discussion arose amongst the *chans as to where their kind would settle. Finally, after many long minutes of petty bickering and discussion of cocks, it was decided that we'd take that big island over there. Yea, that one. The Chanese Federation was formed on that conveniently placed island between the North American and European landmasses.
The internets didn't want to give up the conveniently placed island without a fight. Luckily, neither would the Chanese. Some time after last Thursday a great war was fought over the right to the promised Chanese lands. Many brave anon fought and lost their lives in the name of lulz and The Chanese Federation. They will all be remembered for their ultimate sacrifice.
An official proclamation was created on Independence Day and was subsequently archived at 4chanarchive.:
| — Declaration of independence, posted at 4chan.org |
[edit] Government and Politics
The Chanese Federation has no official governmental style as of 06/23/08. We're working on it. You can't really control an ocean of piss though.
[edit] Religion
The Chanese Federations primary religion consists of worshipping Raptor Jesus. They are also strong believers of the prophecy of Catnarok, and despite the fact that they know Ceiling Cat is watching them, the continue to masturbate. There is a secret island in the waters of Lake Mudkip that contains a Synagogue, Temple, and church. The Chanese federations leaders dissaprove of this, but they are powerless as they Liek mudkipz too much to attack the lake.
[edit] Law
The laws of The Chanese Federation are as follows:
- Law 34: there is porn of it. No exceptions.
- Law 7: GOD DAMNIT
hTEE - Law 18.1: Anons from 4chan, 420chan, or 7chan may not enter 2chan and mix with its pure Japanese race.
- Law 18.2: Proxy Pass in the Futaba Range in the Longcat Moutains may allow uninterrupted entry into the 2chan state when entering through 4chan state and 7chan state.
- Law 420: A PLUR rule is set in the land of 420chan, enforced by the lulz warriors of Federation City.
- Law 739: All sexual activities are 100% legal except for yiffing because fuck the furries. In fact, participating in child porn is not only encouraged, but considered a rite of passage for 3 year olds.
- Law 97: Emos will be shot on sight. Like in Russia.
- Law 11: Tits or GTFO means tits or GTFO.
- Law 740: Furries are not welcome anywhere other than 4chan state. If they are anywhere but 4chan, they risk dying in a fire.
- Law 653: Anons from /b/-city are not to go anywhere else, lest they risk a IRL perma-ban.
- Law 347: If a shop owner shouts "TITS OR GTFO" at a woman, she must show her tits in the next 30 seconds, otherwise she gets thrown out. If it is a fat bitch, then any person walking by may yell "MAN THE HARPOONS" and get the fatty thrown out before she has a chance to show her fat ugly tits.
- Law 20711 All moral fags on 711chan isle are to be fed to jewlion then raped by grinman.
Moar are to come. Add them plox.
[edit] Foreign Relations and Military
As of 06/23/08, everyone pretty much hates The Chanese Federation. North America and Europe do business with us but that's about it. They don't really like us that much.
Our military so far is comprised mainly of Vaporeons. We need to work on it so it's not all Pokeymans.
[edit] States of The Federation
The Chanese Federation have 6 major states that govern as a federacy while the capital city and main governmental presence is still located in the state of 4chan, however technically said capital is in an independent Federal District to prevent any criticism or 4chan's imperialism.
The original states at the time of formation are as follow:
- 2chan - Where the initial proclamation of independence came from and the largest power in the chans; Futaba Channel and 2chan form a sort of weird symbiosis and tend to act as one power; the fact that both states had 1 name at soem times helped too.
- 4chan - One of the Chanese Federation's driving force; third in power and influence behind Futaba Channel and 2channell, provides significant portions of the economic and cultural drive of the english-majority chans and many of the other chans.
- 7chan - Claims to be more awesome than the state of 4chan, both states argus constantly over policy; from role of the Federal Government to Military Posturing to Taxes and Foreign Policy. The fact that 7chan has significant self-determination powers under one of the original federacy constitution helps prevent out-right secession.
- 420chan - A large plume of smoke constantly hangs over this region.
- 711chan - Mostly made up of old men chasing after dragons and slurpees, was found after a ship crashed near the port of oldfags, the sailors bodies where never found but are assumed to be covered in a mixture of cum and blood.
Regarding secessionism, should the state of 4chan secede from The Chanese Federation and establish independence, it would be referred to as 4chania alone. But the state of 4chan aren't a bunch of separatist pussbags like Quebec, so it is believed that they will remain to contribute to an otherwise smaller nation. As an add-on; the Federation, or more accurately Federacy, gives substantial power to some of its' member states regarding internal affairs, from army to internal governance, elections, representation and constitution making the political will of the populace for outright secession in many cases low, remembering the chaotic secessionist wars of /b/day between the Moot Loyalists and Secessionist 7channers, and the more recent Chanapocalypse and the refugees that resulted from the mass razing of chan sites. Never Again; the chanese people and leaders (lol leaders wut) would let themselves fall into such destructive conflict; they entered into attempts of friendship and reconciliation. There's other faggots to fuck up instead niggaz!
[edit] Geography and Climate
The Chanese Federation is located in the North Atlantic between North America and Europe with its mid-point being roughly at the same latitude as Bermuda. It shares no land-based borders with any countries due its island nation classification. In terms of size, The Chanese Federation is roughly 2/3 the size of Mexico.
The Chanese island has a diverse climate due to its looooong stretch. Southern states experience largely tropical temperatures and conditions, while northern states tend to have weather not unlike Washington D.C. and the surrounding states.
Much of the Federation's population resides in 4chan state. 4chan state is among the island's most livable locations due to its proximity to both the Atlantic Ocean and the Freshwater Feline regions of the country.
[edit] Economy
The Chanese Federation is where all lulz come from. In fact, lulz are a primary source of income for the shithole prosperous nation. Lulz keep over 9000 Chanese occupied and employed. You know, because they need moneys. Moneys are necessary to buy shit for you, the citizen and the consumer. How else do you buy a dog?
The currency of The Chanese Federation is Lioncash. The symbol for lioncash is >:3, and is placed after the amount. 1 >:3 is worth over 9000 USD or 2 pesos.
The local economy needs to develop and be studied further before it may be summarized.
[edit] Demographics
It is unknown how many Chanese inhabit the country, but it is estimated to be well over 9000. Caucasians are most likely the primary race inhabiting the island, not because it's racist but because it's just the way it is. The person reading this article is a white male age 17-25. Right?. No, I am a nigra so you fail. As an add-on, significant amounts of Japanese live on this island due to the Japanese chans and the superstate is multicultural due to its' far-reaching cultural disapora.
[edit] Culture
The Chanese Federation is known for its lulz and hipocrisy. Every other country in the world imports its lulz from the island nation.
The main exports for each state of The Chanese Federation are as followed:
- 2chan mainly exports anime and porn. The lulz production is quite low compared to other states, due to language problems and tariffs preventing free trade (remember the whole 'Federacy' bit? Yeah the Japanese chans can have their own tarriffs and shit).
- 4chan mainly exports
Anonymous"Anonymous", AIDS, Military Hardware, Weapons of War, and the occasional shipment of win. Earlier on, the overall lulz production throughout history has been low compared to other chans, incrreasing over time. However, recent studies show that lulz production is decreasing compared to the past peak years, due to competition from other Federacy members and some manufacturing loss. Moot's Master Plan was put into action to try and reverse the damage from newfags and the corruption of fail throughout /b/. Sadly, it seems to just make things worse for the other chans; primarily in 7chan (which was never really good anyway).
- 7chan mainly exports lolis along with fail. Not much is known about 7chan's exports and lulz production due to the current turbulent government. The loli supplies have dwindled since the new administration, providing further shocks to their economy. Increasing amounts of immigration should help to counter it, the matter or the new population remains to be seen. Conflict between nativists and neophytes is increasing. "Newfag vs Oldfag"
- 420chan mainly exports drugs. 49% of drugs exported from 420chan is weed, followed by 23% psychedelics, 15% opiates, 10 % stimulants/ecstacy, and 3% other drugs. The amount of lulz exported from 420chan is higher than 4chan or 7chan at the moment. The flow of lulz is pretty steady. Lolis originally had a high portion of the GDP, but the UN decided to be a bitch and force them to stop or face sanctions.
- 711chan mainly exports lulz and moralfags. About 30% of the Federations lulz come from a group of oldfags on the island state of 711chan but no one really cares about it because 90% of moral fags have also came from the island leading to massive "'bawwing" from anyone with half a braincell. Act20711 has stated that any moral fags found on the island are to be fed to jewlion and then raped by grinman.
[edit] Language
You can speak whatever the hell kind of language you want in The Chanese Federation. The Federal government officially recognizes English as its primary language though, however the population is a mish-mash. 2chan's semi-autonomous government primarily uses Japanese, so you'll fit right in if you're asian or a weeaboo. Between the Japanese and English-majority stats there are several other members with more equal populations between Japanese and English. These areas tend to have a dialect using more borrowed words from the other language. Arguably in some cases and places it's becoming a different language
[edit] Recent Developments and News in the Federation
07/14/08: Citizens of The Furry Isle Island, where the city of Yiffstorm is located, are raging to the Chanese administration to let them create their own semi-autonomous state. The island, which is unfortunately located in 4chan state, is surprisingly being supported by most citizens when asked about their opinion on the separation. "GTFO furfags" is the typical response when asked about it.
07/14/08: Recent seismic activity in the 2chan state in the Longcat Mountains has begun to intrigue the scientists of the Federation. Unconfirmed accounts of ash and recent short-term spikes in temperatures suggest a Lolcano may be located between the cities of Bukkake and Nod Flenders. More research will be conducted in the near future as to the validity of the claim. Should the Lolcano be confirmed it would be deemed Mount Desuvius.
07/16/08: The 7chan state has seen a recent bout of turmoil in the form of cut communications between its people and government. Chanese of 7chanian descent have no way of interacting with one another for the time being due to budget cuts. Its government officials had the following to say at the gathering point:
| — Announced by Drav and the 7chan state government |
The 7chan state is due to sort its shit out in the near future.
07/21/08: lot wut?. 7chan state's shit has been sorted out for the time being. War was likely during the recent turmoil, but luckily it was all over shit nobody cares about so business will be resuming as usual.
07/22/08: 4chan state is under attack by rebels from a rival of the nation's, Anontalk. A war between the two is currently taking place.
07/23/08: .Taking advantage of the chaos ensuing in the 4chan state, relatively unknown 64chan invades land in northeast coast claiming it to be their own. They have already set up a capital and have been recognized by both 420chan and 2chan. They've been ousted already. 64chan isn't relevant enough to be a state. It doesn't even have an ED article and nobody has ever heard of it. All states have to recognize it. Seriously, it's not going to be a state yet. That map didn't look right anyway and 64chan can be added when it at least can be found with a google search.
07/24/08: 4chan state continues to be under siege by rebels out to prove a point. Even the peaceful 420chan state has been overwhelmed as well. Only half of the country is at peace currently, but how long will it be until 7chan, the current host to all the refugees, is taken down as well? Only 2chan is safe from the imminent threat of war.
07/24/08: 4chan state has returned. 420chan state is still crippled, unfortunately.
07/25/08: 4chan state falls into chaos again only shortly after restoring order in its state. 64chan is still inhabiting the northeastern region of the island and have started to collaborate with smaller *chans. 64chan announces that it will act as a representative for 63 other chans and will continue to inhabit the island until it receives recognition from all 4 founding states.
07/25/08: 64chan state is up for consideration in Federation City. 711chan, 12chan, and 5chan are also being considered but are slightly ahead of 64chan for the time being due to their higher populations and moar knowledge of their presence. The 5chan state would likely be formed on the Furry Isle Island with the city of Yiffstorm immediately assuming the position of its capital. 12chan state, if formed, would likely form near 5chan state.
07/28/08: 4chan state should be back to normal soon. Residents have had enough of this recent internets war shitting all over their lulz.
08/29/08: The Interchan Communist Party (TICP) has sent an official letter to the government of the 420chan state to be able to create an island in their state's bay, about 200 kilometers from the coast. More information after the situation develops.
10/05/08;;;: 711chan Isle becomes a state. No one really cares why, but they do enjoy the now free slurpees.
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