The ED Civil War
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Killhamster |
On every popular website on the planet there will at some point be a squabble so huge it will divide the majority of the users. Some will side with the original site and its administrators, some will attempt to found rival websites. It usually happens after the original site has been around for a while. Encyclopedia Dramatica was born in 2004 - so now is about 4 years old and beginning to feel the first effects of being fucked inside, kind of like Madeleine McCann.
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[edit] War? What War?
Some argue there is in fact no 'civil war' - it's just a bunch of butthurt users clawing and screaming at one another as all good trolls do.
[edit] This is not a War...
Encyclopedia Dramatica is not homophobic, sexist or racist because there is a page for literally everyone on ED. You only have to look at the CP page to realize nothing is sacred whatsoever.
Cliques such as -including, but not limited to- Niggers, Furries, Kikes, Fundies, Faggots, Armos and moot are all very easy to make fun of because of the evolutionary flaws which drag them to the bottom of society - not unlike most parasites. (Parasites, although not high on the food chain, are actually very gifted evolution-wise. They have no natural predators and once they find a host they never have to hunt for food. This means Niggers, Kikes, Faggots and the like are actually MOAR fail than parasites.)
Other groups - men, white people, heterosexuals etc. are more difficult to make fun of, since they are considered the norm. Their pages are written like somebody read one of the pages about themselves and decided to even the score. Replace the word "nigger" with "cracker" and you've got the page on white people, even though Caucasians are much further up the evolutionary ladder.
Such edits usually cause arguments like these:
- This page is unfunny. A butthurt reader saw a better page and tried to get their own back. --Lulzlover
- Lolwut this article is racist/sexist/prejudice for the lulz! You motherfuckers can't handle being told what goddamn fucking disgraces you are! Don't forget the suicide note on MySpace before you go! LULZ --Drizzlingcumbucket
- Your edits are a load of bullshit - you're just some newfag who thinks he's got anonymous on his side! --FuckingMudkipsYEAH
- You have NO IDEA what satire is do you? --Monkeyspunk
- Stop BAAAAAWWWWWW-ing about the fucking page and rewrite it yourself you fucking crybaby! --Buttonhole
- LOL the talk page is even funnier than the article --Heyguiselol
- NIGGERS COCKS JEWS FAGGOTS LULZ AM I RITE --Anon789
- Y'all niggas are posting in a troll thread --Al Sharpton
- FUCK YOUR SHARPTON -- Vanessa Hudgens
- Y'all niggas are posting in a troll thread --Al Sharpton
- NIGGERS COCKS JEWS FAGGOTS LULZ AM I RITE --Anon789
- LOL the talk page is even funnier than the article --Heyguiselol
- Stop BAAAAAWWWWWW-ing about the fucking page and rewrite it yourself you fucking crybaby! --Buttonhole
- You have NO IDEA what satire is do you? --Monkeyspunk
- Your edits are a load of bullshit - you're just some newfag who thinks he's got anonymous on his side! --FuckingMudkipsYEAH
- Lolwut this article is racist/sexist/prejudice for the lulz! You motherfuckers can't handle being told what goddamn fucking disgraces you are! Don't forget the suicide note on MySpace before you go! LULZ --Drizzlingcumbucket
Many pages on ED have editing wars which involve users cutting, vandalizing and insulting one another on the talk page. Eventually some of the users will be named and shamed for being hypocrites who like to dish out the shit but can't take it themselves and if they're lucky, eventually B& for their faggotry. They are the lifeblood of ED. This is not the so-called "Civil War". Such sacrificial lambs are what keeps ED going.
Examples from the talk pages:
[edit] THIS is a War
It is not firmly established when exactly the war started. Most likely it was shortly after anonymous declared jihad on Tom Cruise and Scientology.
Most of the bullshit anonymous gets up to is confined to the internet. Seeing an opportunity to cause some IRL damage members went and protested against this false religion, and this is where the trouble started: Anonymous - which attacked those who took the internet too seriously - were starting to take themselves too seriously. And thus, have become what they hated most.
[edit] The Players
The battle is not only between moralfags and hatefags - it's also between newfags and oldfags. Even the internet is not safe from drama.
Originally the newfags and moralfags were attacked for ruining Encyclopedia Dramatica's good name. It was turning the sacred internet hate machine into a cyber vigilante patrol - destroying the very purpose of ED. Sadly the mods and admins either can't ban someone for being unfunny or were too damn lazy to spam their userpages.
With free reign the newfags and moralfags re-grouped and started attacking the users who had pointed out their faggotry by saying the oldfags weren't funny anymore and the hatefags were too dumb to realize the best way to really hurt someone was to pretend to be their friend.
Just like liberals vs. conservatives the newfags and moralfags want to see a change in ED saying it has become stale and non-threatening whilst the hatefags and oldfags want to see it stay the same before it's flooded with users who like anime and anthro art too much.
The admins and mods sit back and laugh, scratching their balls.
[edit] The Outcome
The "war" is still in progress. Some have fallen and gone back to ranting how fucking awful ED is in their LiveJournals. Some continue their aimless assault, utilizing an endless stream of proxies to register new accounts only to be hammered yet again. A scant few realize they're acting like retards and quit, watching from the sidelines and laughing quietly to themselves.
In the future the remaining members may look back on this and either lol or try to forget the whole fucking thing. Some users will turn it into the new Godwin's law. Others will claim that this is proof you can in fact troll a troll, but this is an attempt to hide their unholy blasphemies by saying, "LOLs I wuz only joking guise and yoo fell 4 itt!" or as they say on Usenet, "Jus trollin gov, honest I was!" "Trolling" people into fucking you up the ass with your own idiocy is not and never will be a form of trolling. It's just getting fucked up the ass, at best because you *WANT* to get fucked up the ass, nothing more than that.
Whether you think this is serious business or not shows what side of the battle you've chosen.
[edit] A Note to All ED Haters
Is this the end of Encyclopedia Dramatica? Not fucking likely.
There are tens of thousands of users at ED. No matter how many are busy fighting with each other there will be ten times more hunting for lolcows and drama llamas to feed their hunger. The 16 year old tartlets, the semen-stained furfags and money-grubbing Scientologists will not cheer and cry "We've won!" There are plenty of users waiting for them to drop their guard. And they will drop their guard.
[edit] Bunker's Law
A satirist's popularity is inversely proportional to the percentage of people that understand him.
This is based on the observations of Carroll O'Connor, known as famed bigot Archie Bunker on All In The Family. Towards the final days of playing his Archie character, racists and homophobes would walk up to him on the street and thank him for standing up for what they believe in.
This law may be at the root of the cancer that is killing ED.
[edit] See Also
[edit] External Links
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The ED Civil War is part of a series on Trolls. |
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