The Pirate Bay
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| HOLY SHIT! PIRATE BAY SOLD OUT TO TEH MANZ FFFFFFFFFFFFFF!! |
PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it.
--Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
The Pirate Bay was is currently still the internet's largest source of illegal software through completely legal bittorrent tracking. Through the use of superior internets and the "godlike" country of Sweden, The Pirate Bay's efforts of spreading Photoshop, movies, games and otherwise super expensive shit went largely unhindered, despite copious amounts of legal threats from dumbass Americunts.
The Pirate Bay was forged at least 100 years ago from the fighting spirit of free souls by Swedish gods, its servers forged from the metal of Thor's hammer and was stolen from Valhalla by the anti-copyright guild Piratbyrån. After many generations, the guild Piratbyrån slowly died out and The Pirate Bay was left in the hands of one last individual. However, this chosen one did not guide the pirates out of darkness and instead sold The Pirate Bay to Swedish gaming group, Global Gaming Factory. The chosen one then moved to Israel to hang out with his fellow Jews and fuck his fortune in the ass while cutting coupons out of the newspaper.
Contents |
Legal Threats
Despite being in Sweden and completely out of American jurisdiction, dumbass Americunts still believe that they can waggle their guns at The Pirate Bay and demand the removing of torrents. This is a common occurrence, and an entire section of The Pirate Bay has been devoted to it, bringing much lulz.
A good example of this is WEB SHERIFF.
The man once raided Pirate Bay's servers in an attempt to get back the MPAA's Jew gold. However, it was back on the tubes the next day, and all that was found on the drives they lifted were over 9000 naked pictures of Jimbo Wales.
Things the Pirate Bay is useful for
Recent MediaDefender Drama
Reports recently surfaced that The Pirate Bay is filing lawsuits against MediaDefender (of MiiVi infamy), a fail anti-piracy organization hired by large media corporations (ie. Universal, Fox, etc.) to fight copyright infringement on their behalf. MediaDefender's recently leaked emails (torrent link[1]) as well as a 25 minute phone call to the New York State General Attorney following the leaks have afforded plenty of lulz amidst the burgeoning drama.
Guilty?
On April 17, 2009, in a blinding flash of judicial stupidity, Swedish courts determined that the four founders of The Pirate Bay were "guilty of providing a conduit for others to break the law, rather than breaching copyright themselves". They were sentenced to a year in jail, and ordered to pay 3.56 million dong in damages. Since this broad definition of a "crime" applies to almost every fucking website in existence, the ruling is expected to be overturned in the very near future.
| —Peter Sunde, co-founder of The Pirate bay, hitting the nail on the motherfucking head. |
Crooked Judge Is Crooked
Shortly after the controversial verdict was issued, it was discovered that the presiding judge in the Pirate Bay case might have a conflict of interest big enough to drive a tank through. Judge Thomas Norström, in addition to ruling in copyright cases, also just happens to be a member of the Swedish Association for the Protection of Industrial Property and the Swedish Copyright Association. He claims that he's a member of these groups "to stay abreast of the legal issues surrounding copyright". His status as a board member of one group, in which all three entertainment industry plaintiffs are members, seems to at least give the appearance of impropriety.
| —Judge Thomas Norström, the best judge money can buy |
To add to the flames, the defense has now made allegations that not only was the judge a little bit biased, but the courts, who are supposed to randomly choose judges, may have not been so random to set up the pirate bay and take off with all their jew gold for RIAA and the MPAA and other Jews.
Adding insult to injury, the aforementioned corrupt suckers of jew-cock have now denied the appeal of the defendants.
Selling Out
On June 30, 2009 The Pirate Bay announced it had sold its soul to becoming legitimate like Napster. As everyone expects, this is a major blow to pedophiles across the globe who will now have to find a new site to browse with their dicks hanging out.
Suggestions for TPB Users after the buyout
- format /q c:\
- lrn2privatetracker
- Use MiniNova instead - Only if you love watching it being deleted the next day due to copy right notices.
- Masturbate furiously while commenting on their blog
- Kill yourself because the internet as we know it is coming to an end
- Beat your wife mercilessly until a consistency of skittles is achieved
- GO OUTSIDE FOR A CHANGE BECAUSE IT DOESNT FUCKING MATTER. YOU DONT OWN TPB SO WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT
See Also
External Links
- The Pirate Bay
- TPB Blog - This is the blog entry where they admit to their sellout faggotry
- Glowball Gay Ming Faggotry - The company that is buying TPB out. I wonder who they are shills for.
- The Pirate Bay: Legal threats - The lulzy legal threats TPB has received, complete with retorts in broken English!
- Steal This Film: A movie about the history of Pirate bay (torrent link of course).
- Yahoo! Answers on how to use the Pirate Bay
