The Incredible Hulk

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HULK STRAIGHT!
HULK STRAIGHT!

The Incredible Hulk is a Marvel comics character, conceived by Stan Lee one night while fucking Jack Kirby's wife. His comic series revolved around the adventures of Bruce Banhammer, an Otherkin fetishist who believed he was a green Lou Ferrigno. One night, while surfing Otherkin.net, he was caught off-guard by a fag enabler who transformed Banner into a raging homosexual. Being a devout Mormon, the Hulk must fight against his new temptations to uphold the teachings of the Mormon Space Jesus.

The Hulk is the very reason why people shouldn't take steroids.

Hulk is, apparently, the only good guy that can be a badguy simultaneously, as he has an extreme habit of going apeshit whenever faggotry arises (and faggotry ALWAYS has a habit of arriving).

This is the best Christmas EVAR!!!!!!1111
This is the best Christmas EVAR!!!!!!1111
When not the Hulk, Banner is completely emo, constantly whining about the fact that he can't stick it in his former flame Betty Ross' pooper as either Banner or the Hulk. As Banner he is impotent and as the Hulk he would fuck her into another galaxy. In fact, the only hero who could survive Hulk's fucking is his cousin, She-Hulk, which is why the comic is so popular in Indiana.

At one point, Iron Dick got drunk off his ass and shot Hulk into space. It's the collective opinion of everyone that Earth is fucked when Hulk gets back. When he actually DOES get back, he beats the fuck out of everybody and forces them to fight in a gigantic arena until a batshit Superman ripoff hits him until he explodes.

Despite Bruce Banner being a scientist, the Hulk is a gigantic fucktard.

Contents

[edit] Powers and Abilities

  • He's bigger than big.
  • Taller than tall.
  • Quicker than quick.
  • Stronger than strong.
  • Ready to fight for RIGHT...
  • ...against WRONG!
  • Tiny pee pee
  • Indestructible underwear and pants made of the pubic hair of Azn people.
  • Using steroids

[edit] Film

A film was made of the Hulk to net the greedy Jews at Marvel their precious gold. They decided to use an azn director to cut costs. For a character based entirely around smashing things, the movie consisted of very little smashing. They actually tried to focus on story, and some boring shit about child abuse. Because of this, nobody saw it and the director was deported back to China. He later returned to make movies about gay cowboys eating pudding.

A second movie pile of fail is being made with different actors and different plot. Hopefully it will include more smashing and less faggotry. Hulk will be stomping on a monster named "Abomination" in the new movie. All ED knows about Abomination comes from the bible: Leviticus 20:13 "And a man who lies with a male as one would with a woman both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon themselves." Ergo, Abomination is a fag. Abomination will be a prissy, effeminate queer. The movie will start with Abomination "hitting" on the Hulk at a bar. But the Hulk ain't no fag, so he spends two hours trying to kill him in this long, digitized fight scene. Hulk is anger unleashed you know. Unbound madness. By the end of the movie, that guy from American History X they got to play the Hulk will walk out of the film with some blonde girl with big tits. (This was all in the original script--but there is no telling what the newfags did to it since it's not out in teh theater yet.)

New film is out. There's a second Hulk antagonist. He's naked, but has ken doll like genitals. He should have a huge hulk penis. He should smash shit with it.

[edit] Tales of Interest!

[edit] Also See

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