Thomas Beatie
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Thomas Beatie is a semi post-op female to male transgender attention whore. She/he recently became famous by announcing to world that "he" is the world's first pregnant man. Naturally, an announcement such as this can only be made on daytime television.
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[edit] The world's first pregnant man, or rather, the world's 6 billionth pregnant woman
| —Thomas Beatie, not a man. |
This was originally thought to be an April Fool's Day joke by Fox News. If only.
Even though it's not a joke, it also isn't the scientific breakthrough it may seem to be. Thomas Beatie was actually born Tracy Lagondino, a full-fledged woman with a vagina, uterus, eggs and kitchen-know-how. Not some XXY mutant freak with an overdeveloped clit like Chyna, but an actual dainty dame.
At some point in her twisted life she chose to feel like a man trapped in a woman's body because she's a total attention whore, and decided to have gender reassignment surgery. Unfortunately, the surgeon did a half-assed job and left her vag intact. One of the deciding factors in determining if someone is a man or a woman, is usually whether they are a plug or a socket, but for some reason Thomas/Tracy/It decided to become a malformed half man, half woman, half pig with no tits and no penis.
But because of her surgery, she is "legally" considered a man, thus, Thomas might get into the history books on a technicality for being the first pregnant man (See also Barry Bonds).
Since even a fucking 5 year old knows men have a penis, and women have a hatchet wound, Thomas' only real claim to fame is trolling Oprah and the American public.
[edit] Unholy Union
Thomas and her bull-dyke wife Nancy devised their plan to spit in God's face more than a couple years ago. Nancy, the real woman, had previously had her uterus yanked out by a rabid monkey at a petting zoo, so she was unable to get preggo by Thomas' nonexistent sperm.
Unlike most couples married in a house of God, being down one uterus did not leave the Beaties out of the baby race. Since Jesus no longer liked Nancy, Thomas decided to go off his/her Testosterone regimen, and get knocked up the old fashioned way; with some anonymous sperm and a Turkey baster. God once again told them to "knock it the fuck off" by giving Thomas an ectopic pregnancy, which required the doctors to remove one of his fallopian tubes (egg chutes).
After this tragedy, Thomas's own brother said that his/her egg tube being removed was a good thing, because it would have probably been some sort of monster. Only time will tell...
[edit] See also
- Pregnant
- Pregnophile
- How is babby formed?
- YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG
- Snapesnogger Considering Beatie is an azn, she's probably drooling all over him/her . . .
- Mpreg Nice try "Thomas".
[edit] External links
Categories: People | Trolls | Stub
