Our pal Rick Astley is up for the MTV Europe award for BEST ACT EVAR! You can help by voting here, digging this and signing this petition.

Bill Kaulitz

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

(Redirected from Tokio Hotel)
Jump to: navigation, search
MILHOUSE IS NOT A MEME Forced meme ALERT:
Bill Kaulitz will be posted by the same unfunny newfag until you like it.
Du.Du hast.Du hast mich!
Du.
Du hast.
Du hast mich!

Billa "Bill" Kaulitz is the female lead singer of German pop-rock band "Tokio Hotel". Recently, she's become a minor internet anti-meme, commonly featured in /b/ and elsewhere with posts of her stunning photos and brief mention of his androgynous first name. Typically, this is followed by Admiral Ackbar posts intended to trick newfags into believing that there's more to her than meets the eye. Bill is the real-life equivalent of Bridget.

"Bill Jokes" often refer to her neo-emo goth punk rock appearance and her gorgeous-yet-far-out hairstyles.

Q: What would you do for Bill?
A: Loan her my razor and a noose.

Contents

[edit] Early Years

Bill initially rose to fame as a quarter-finalist in 2001 Germany's Star Search competition, where her likeness was compared to the delicious young Natalie Portman in Luc Besson's 1994 film "Leon: The Professional", which co-starred the juicy Jean Reno and famed character actor Gary Oldman.

Bill's early years on Star Search and with Tokio Hotel.
Bill's early years on Star Search and with Tokio Hotel.


Arguably, the only thing keeping her from winning was the unfortunate fact that, at the time, her voice sounded like a bag of kittens being run through a garden tiller.

[edit] Countdown

Bill, and her identical twin brother Tom, were born on September 1st, 1989. Despite the fact that she's legally been able to consent to sex for the past 6 years under German law, several dozen websites ran 18-year countdown clocks to commemorate his birthday.

Skyrocketing To Superstardom.
Skyrocketing To Superstardom.

[edit] Tokio Hotel

Typical image used to mock "WHEN I WAS"
Typical image used to mock "WHEN I WAS"
Bill is pretty awesome
Bill is pretty awesome
Proper way to mock "WHEN I WAS"
Proper way to mock "WHEN I WAS"
Bill is definitely NOT GAY!!!!11
Bill is definitely NOT GAY!!!!11


Her band, "Tokio Hotel", was named after an Asian county and the American word for "Hostel." They've had a string of successful albums and hits over the last few years, including...

  • "Schrei - so laut du kannst" - "Sex - so long as you can"
  • "Übers Ende der Welt" - "Udders That I've Felt"
  • "An Deiner Seite (Ich Bin Da)" - "A Dinner Swiss (Boom Ba)"
  • "Durch den Monsun" - "Fuck The Monsoons"
  • "Jung und Nicht Mehr Jugendfrei" - "Jews Stole my Testosterone"

Unfortunately, everyone forgets the band because of the beauty of frontwoman Bill and because the others are all ugly. Bill's twin occasionally makes an appearance for twincest fics, but generally no one knows who the other two are and quite frankly no one wants to. Anything related to Tokio Hotel often turns into vicious drama instigated by fanfags and haters due to TH being the most simultaneously loved and hated band in the world. Here is an accurate transcript:

billkaulitzwife4evax: omg, lIKE, i love tokio hoteal its like the most punk baend ever bill is sooooo dreamy

maggot666: wtf u faggot y dont u listen to tru mettl lyk Slipknot and System of a Down insted of these fudge packrs who r totally being manipualetd by the corpoatiaons

billkaulitzwife4evax: stfu, how can i b a faggot if im a gurl!!

maggot666: fuck u bitch suck my penus i am a real man unnlyk these FAGS!

Just remember, no matter how feminine Bill may be, fapping to him still makes you gay. It doesn't matter that you're a straight guy who just noticed how feminine Bill is, you are gay. It doesn't matter if you still like other girls and exclaim over and over that you're straight. Bill is still there in the back of your mind haunting your heterosexuality. That includes all you talking vaginas with computers in your kitchens. Everyone is gay for Bill.

[edit] Cute Stuff

Bill Kaulitz, aged 13, singing "It's raining men." with German lyrics.

[edit] Other Members of Tokio Hotel

See Shit nobody cares about

[edit] Chan Fandom - /b/ill takes over

Slowly but surely...
Slowly but surely...

Note: Some of these guys have obviously never read this article, and don't quite have their facts straight.


 
 
Fuck you guys. Since you started posting pictures of him every day, I have seriously gotten gay. Not that guys in general turns me on, just this guy. I want to fuck him so bad, even though I have never had any gaytendensees.
 

 

Anonymous, on /b/



 
 
Bill Kaulitz threads are the only reason I visit 4chan now.
 

 

Anonymous, on /b/


 
 
I love him. With all of my soul. I want to lick his soft sweet face, feel his frail, sweet body against mine, I want to rub my cock against his leg... I don't even want to cum on/in him because he's soo delicate. I just want him to tease me, to hold him in my arms; Tom meanwhile is under the covers, toying my cock with his tongue, then sucking it deeply....oh god bill is now murmuring in my ear.... BRB church.
 

 

Anonymous



 
 
Despite his utter lack of breasts, and stupid hair, I want to bang him so bad. His brother Bill's gonna get it too.
 

 

Anonymous



 
 
Straight fag here, who's comfortably with his sexuality, ergo, can fap to a guy not be gay.
 

 

Anonymous


A good majority of them can be found at Bestuffintheworld

[edit] MOAR

Out of fapping material? http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ksohggr4

[edit] LOVE LIFE

Apart from banging his twin brother, Bill is currently in a hot and heavy relationship with every last member of another German band, Cinema Bizarre, and, of course, the German rapper Bushido.

[edit] Bill Kaulitz now an Hero

http://147.102.135.118/cnn.html# According to CNN, Ms. Kaulitz and his goatse-loving friend Tom became heroes when they both died in a car crash.

There's no escaping the fangirls. Ever. Ever.
There's no escaping the fangirls. Ever. Ever.

[edit] SHOW'S CANCELLED DUE TO AIDS

In March of 2008, Bill suddenly became very ill, and had to cancel a show in Portugal. This caused copious amounts of butthurt from emo girls. This was actually one of the finest pieces of drama ever, which gathered thousands of people in one place and then had some guy telling everyone to GTFO, resulting in massive amounts of wrist cutting blood. When asked if he did it for the lulz, he said he just had too much cock down his throat.

[edit] Gallery of BAWWWWWW

[edit] External Links

Footage from the concert, complete with deafening screams

News coverage of the incident



Bill Kaulitz is part of Classic Solid Chanspeak
          a series on Memes Fleeting Failed Not a Meme
Click one of the six categories to expand that category.
Time-Tested
Classics
4chan StencilsA Cat Is Fine TooA winner is youAn HeroBaby fuckBarrel rollBayeux TapestryBel-AirBitches Don't KnowBix NoodBrian PeppersBridgetBunny PancakeBuy A DogCandlejackCatnarokCaturdayCeiling CatCentipede filled vaginaChin-chanChuck NorrisCockmonglerCopypastaCreepypastaDelicious CakeDemotivatorsDesuDiabeetusDivide By ZeroDO IT FAGGOTDO NOT WANTDuckrollEpic Fail GuyEpic ThreadsFGSFDSF40PHGaijin 4KomaGeorge ZimmerGoodnight Sweet PrinceHA! HA! GuyHAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKSHappycatHappy NegroHow Do I Shot Web?I Am In Your Base Killing Your D00dsI CameI Has A ShuvelIMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZERINTERNET HATE MACHINEI See What You Did ThereOver 9000ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOATJESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!LOL WUTLongcatMassimo D'AlemaMilhouse is not a memeMoarMudkipsNevada-tanO RLYPedobear????Pool's ClosedProfitRaptor JesusRickrollThe Sandwich ChefThis Looks ShoppedWahaWRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYaranaikaZA WARUDO
Ordinary
Memes
404 GirlAwesomeBIKECATBlockatielBorschtBroccoli DogCactuarCard CrusherChris HansenDicks everywhereDOUBLE NIGGERDougDSFARGEGGarfieldENGLISH MOTHERFUCKERFrosted ButtsGaijin 4KomaGentlemenHappy SnakeHouseHypnotoadI am LegendI GOT NORTON!I'd Hit ItINVISIBLE...IS IT CAN BE HUGS TIEM NOW PLEES?Is This BattletoadsIt's a Trap!Jam It InJohn LockeKILL IT WITH FIRELaw 4 Kidslolicatgirls.swfMachine CodeMan The HarpoonsMario DrawingsMilk BagsMSPaint Relationship ThreadNanomachinesNot This Shit AgainOM NOM NOM NOMParty HardPLEASE RESPONDPretty cool guyPush ButanPut Shoe On HeadRape ClockShitting Dick NipplesSlowpokeSpeedycatSpengbabSteel HeartsTeh ReiThat Fucking Catdelayclose.jpgTONIGHT WE DINE IN HELLUSB CableVespene gasWeegeeWhat is Love?Wrong Location NiggerX? In My Y?YOU ARE DOING IT WRONGZippocat
Jargon and
Textual Memes
Bring Back SnacksBut who was xBumpClippitCombofagDrawhoreFixedFukken savedGrey AreaHA HA HA, OH WOWI don't think you have an X. Enjoy your Y.in before Xlurk moarNever forgetNO UNobody CaresOh exploitablePic UnrelatedPosting in an epic threadRelevant to my interestsRules Of The InternetSauceStick It In Her PooperStop postingVerbose ThreadWeeabooWHARRGARBLWhere is your X now?X is not your personal armyX Y is X
15 Minutes
of Fame
360 kid4chan Battlecards4chan Gaming4chan Gold AccountApathy DogApproval GuyAudioBeat A RodBecause of Parkinson'sChild AbductionBRB, CHURCHbrb, compromisedbrb, soupBrinks Home SecurityDental PlanDynamic EntryExtreme AdvertisingFeels good manFishing CatFlea Market Montgomery#fortuneFfruustrationGary OakGodhand EditGoofy TimeGrin ReaperGuess The MemeHi-tech military softwareHoly GrailI DIDN'T EAT THAT FUCKIN SANDWICH OR THE TOILET THING EITHER!I Has A BucketI need a price check ...I TOUCHED HIS PENIS!! OMGJosef FritzlJxcelDolghmQTime for a DickingChocolate RainLarge Hadron ColliderLeave Bond to meLINK MAH BOIIIIILOLCHAIRMavica SpriteMichael PhelpsMordorNod FlendersOctocatOh No You Didn'tOperation Falcon PunchOperation LIONCASHPower WristROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAHSFW PornShamwowSteve IrwinStingraySUP DAWGSwirl FaceSwitch police onTapestry DogTyrannosaurus ReichUninformed LisaVTEC Just Kicked In YoWhat is a man?Why So Exploitable?Why So Serious?Woll SmothZach Braff Quotes
Close
But No Cigar
Apples BearAsianfaceBig DogBillCAPS EAGLECOMBO BREAKERCool your jetsDick ButtDrama Prairie DogFUCK YEAH SEAKINGFurseisekiThe FuryGastonGETGet into the LoopHai guyI AM BEOWULF!I don't roll that wayJack SpicerL-L-LUNAJACK!Living On A PrayerMatt GundermanNavidNyoro~nObjection!oh shit i'm sorry i meantRedtube RouletteRitaSHIT IT OFFShortcatSkittle NiggerSmoking CrabStaredogSo cashTAP LADEDANS FISTON!THE BESTUNITINUWHEN I WASYou Laugh, You LoseYOU'RE A BIRD!
No.

Milhouse


Bill Kaulitz is part of a series on Music.

Personal tools