Tom Green
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Tom Green, who was once a favourite of MTV-watching 13-year-old boys and Drag Queens, has now been demoted to Internet TV and gay porn. Once notable for marrying Drew Barrymore and also notable for divorcing her four months later. He also thinks he can rap.
Contents |
[edit] Tom Green Show (Original)
Done back in his native homeland of Canukistan, this was one of the first popular "shock" television shows. It predated and was the main insparation for Jackass. This show actually kicked a lot of serious ass, with Tom doing crazy shit like slicing a rotting raccoon in half with a chainsaw in front of a live audience. The show featured lots of stuff that would be censored in any other country such as beastiality, and swearing. Other lulz manuvers of this show included:
- Sucking off cows while pretending to be William Shatner
- Thrashing around like a retard while puking everywhere
- Throwing jizz all over Glen Humplick
- Pissing off soccer moms by stealing the ball
- Setting his feet on fire to help mankind
- Humping dead animals
- Turning his dads car into the "Slutmobile"
- Making fun of cripples
- Ripping brains out of cowheads to make a flaming "cow brain boat" while pretending to be a wigger (you think im making this up because this is ED, but this shit actually happened!)
- Running around with a horse mask, making horsey sounds.
- Attempting to play baseball encased in a bubble(necessary precaution to ensure the other players don't catch his mental illness.)
[edit] Tom Green Show (MTV version)
When all of Canada (Jimmy, Sally, and Suzie) watching the Tom Green show wasn't enough to line his pockets, he decided to move his show to America. Unfortunately this show turned out to be a stripped down, censored, and basically fagged up version of the original.
[edit] Cancer
When the epic fail gods were about to descend upon him and put the banhammer on his show, Tom Green took drastic measures. In order to generate more lulz, he put his nutsack in a microwave. He did this so he could get cancer and televise it, since cancer was funny as hell. However, this stunt failed so hard that today we pity kids with cancer for reminding us of Tom Green.
[edit] The New Tom Green Show
Now if the MTV version wasn't shitty enough, he made a "New" show, which was his lame ass attempt at a talk show. Was probably the most unfunny show since Sienfeld. This is when Tom Green took a major nosedive, and everyone forgot about him.
[edit] Tom Green on the internets
No longer a mainstream celebrity, Tom is now playing the Internet celebrity game by inviting his washed-up celebrity friends to appear on his show, which has produced a number of lulz.
[edit] /b/ Raids Tom Green
On 08/16/06, the /b/tards invaded Tom Green's call in show for epic win. Tom Green held up a sheet of paper reading B and put on an afro wig to accompany his suit. He also endured an hour of Desu spamming, "Pool's Closed", and "do a barrel roll!" all of which are popular 4chan memes.
By the end of the show however, Green had had enough. He joined his guest in announcing "thanks to you assholes this will no longer be a call in show". This is unlikely as the show features no other content. The show immediately following Green, "Girl Talk", was also completely ruined by /b/. They were bombarded for three hours with "Osaka porn", "barrel roll", desu spam, "shoop da whoop" and other such memes that never were very funny anyway.
[edit] Raid Aftermath
The "raids" were met with mixed feelings on /b/, there were those who were lolling out loud, and then there were those snarky wankers who criticised the action in a desperate attempt to uphold the /b/ SUPER SEKRET ELITE clique environment. We at ED can assure you that the Tom Green raids qualified as lulz, and that the aforementioned snarky wankers are just butthurt that some people are being entertained by something that they, personally are not. These snarky wankers seem to have caught a new strain of cancer that causes the victim to believe that lulz are Serious Business, and cannot accept that minor lulz in the form of what's really more like Audience Participation than anything else are, in fact, funny to people who do not deserve to die in a fire.
[edit] /b/reaking news!
At 2AM EST on 7/12/07, Tom held the Tom Green Show "in the middle of the night" version. This followed a show the previous day where he hocked off a bunch of junk on eBay, then PMS'd at his camera operator before ending the show half an hour early. Tom appeared drunk and spent half the show ducking behind his desk and trying to rap. He got one prank call and afterwards was literally screaming "BARREL ROLL" and "MUDKLIFFS" at every caller. Evidently, he plans to hold late-night shows semi-regularly, and no trace of the show exists on his site.
[edit] GENTLEMEN
On 6/3/08 at approximately 1:04 AM Eastern Tom Green was "performing a meem" when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in his neighborhood, he performed the gentlemen "meem" flawlessly, but got in one little fight and his producer got scared when someone called him a fat nigger seven times, and Tom again behaved like a pussy saying such lulzy phrases as, "I like meems," "meems are not cool after that," "You try to help people out, you screw around with someone that likes meems and whatever..........." Lulz most certainly ensued and whoever performed this raid should be congratulated.
[edit] DICK-ROLL'D
On 6/17/08 at approximately 1:57 AM Eastern Tom Green met a 19 year-old caller on Skype with his brother playing WOW. Tom eventually gained the caller's trust and decided to let him stay on the air and let some callers in. The first caller shouted, a "meme" which is frowned upon in the #tomgreen community, "FAT NIGGER, FAT NIGGER..." The second caller asked him about a time when a snake bit Tom Green and he did a barrel roll. Right after Tom Green responded to the third caller, the Skype caller put a Guy Fawkes mask and eventually started to fap on camera. Tom immediately shat bricks after spotting the mask. Also Tom got severely butthurt over a caller inquiring about Drew Barrymore. It is rumoured he became a An Hero by overdose after hearing of this and Victor will be taking over the show.
HA HA HA People are freaking ridiculous.[edit] A Few Recorded Calls
UPDATE: as of 4/04/08, many of these videos are being baleeted due to Tom Green being a douchefag and claiming copyright infringements
Tom Green Show
[1] Tony Hawk did a barrel rollBalleted -.-[2] Pool's closed. DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESUBalleted![3] BEST. PRANK CALL. EVAR.Balleted![4]About 1/2 way through this clip, Anon achieves one of his greatest victories against Tom Green.Balleted.- [5] Madness? THIS! IS! 4CHAAAAAN!
[6] IT'S A MEEMEEBalleted![7] Tom Green Rick RolledBalleted![8] a barrel roll? This vid WINS.Balleted.- [9] tom green gets goatse'd
[10] Bob Faget doing what he does best - being anti-lulzBalleted![11] Tom Green screams at his ex-camera operator, Logan. Before the original video was removed by JewTube staff, it appeared that Logan responded to the video in a comment that said 'hey, fuck you guys'.Also Balleted- [12] Tom Green gets called a fat nigger, ends the show and says, and I quote, "No one will evar hear this, nevar again!!"
- [13] Same video as up there, Tom Green performs "meems" for the callers enjoyment, "fat nigger" ensues, tom green is butthurt
Girltalk
[14]You know the drill.[15]God this guy hates us.[16]What the crap?!?[17]LOL[18]Lulz killer- [19]
[20] it's awwwwwwright!Not for Tom Green apparently.- [21] - For some reason, it hasn't been deleted.
- [22]
- [23]
- Some more archived Girl Talk raids
- more raids
[edit] Links
- Tom Green's Internet TV site and XXX gay porn
Tom Green VS. Soccer moms. (LULZ)Also balleted! Oh that doucebag Tom.- His forums were raided on October 26th 2006.
Categories: TV Shows | People | 4chan
