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Toresbe

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toresbe shows his support for the Soviet Union. Note the grease pouring off of his face and hair. This explains the blurry camera view.
toresbe shows his support for the Soviet Union. Note the grease pouring off of his face and hair. This explains the blurry camera view.
toresbe molests a magnetic tape. This is the last object he made out with.
toresbe molests a magnetic tape. This is the last object he made out with.
toresbe hides his tiny penis in shame. OH THE HORROR.
toresbe hides his tiny penis in shame. OH THE HORROR.

Toresbe is an open source fanboy who idles in various channels on Freenode. He can be characterized with his incessant obsession with Norsk Data computers, midget porn, sucking cock and blaming everyone else in the world for his problems.

Toresbe is also only 18 years old and believes he knows all about the world. He is also a nord.

Contents

[edit] History

Toresbe is frequently found idling on various open source channels on Freenode. Most notably he is an Open Source fanboi -- this means that he hangs out with many developers of day-to-day parts of Linux and other UNIX-like operating systems and pesters them until they put him on ignore. He often drags his drama llama pixie from channel to channel as well, bickering with her in various moon languages (though often English since this is the universal language of IRC), to the point where they often are banned or at least permanently put on ignore by the residents of the channel. When he does not spend his time bothering people on IRC, he tends to whore himself out naked on a webcam.

Toresbe suffers from an emotional complex known as emo nord syndrome. Supposedly from the age 7 and on he was bullied and tormented by his evil teachers, who hatch plots to ruin the lives of 7 year olds on a daily basis. Finally the evil teachers got bored of tormenting him and put him in a mental institution to be poked and prodded for evil psychiatrical experiments. After his mother became a no-good-whore she kicked him out because even his own mother was out to get him, at the age of 14. Toresbe was then put through the evil state orphanages where children were tortured and tied down and regularly sexually abused and generally shat upon by the social workers. Apparently many of these instances made the newspapers, but nobody can read the moon language the articles are written in, so for all we know it could be the latest soccer scores.

[edit] Magical Powers

Several people who know toresbe claim he has magical powers, and amongst other things has the power to change the colour of lower primates and cats and to change the wattage of lightbulbs. He himself claims this is not true.

[edit] Job

It was rumoured Toresbe once to have a job. He was supposedly working for a scientology company developing free software for top secret purposes no one really knows about. He was fired because he ran off to Mexico selling out to another free software organization in 3 months after 3 months being employed. Now Toresbe is said to be looking for a new job, but it is unknown if he will ever get a new one since he lives too well as a welfare recipient now.

[edit] The Present

Toresbe now lives on state dole in a pitiful apartment filled with vintage computer hardware. He often molests said hardware and coats it with semen while listening to ABBA's Dancing Queen. Currently he is hanging around on IRC with Vilde, his new girlfriend/groupie who does everything he says or does. Their activities nowadays include engaging in bondage and making up lies about people and tell them to strangers at random times. People say he did supposedly have a previous girlfriend at one point who went by the name pixie, who dumped him and used him. However, since nobody really knows what the true story is, it is often surmised that pixie is a creation of toresbe, where he runs IRC from a different shell, pretending to be a girl. Their incessant bickering and often similar writing styles suggest that this could indeed be the case.

[edit] Links

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Encyclopedia Dramatica's AUP due to a
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You can help by shoving it up your ass.
Failure to comply will result in ongoing harassment!

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