If you haven't looked at ED:LULZ in a while, now is a great time to catch up.
Tori Sue Heck
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
TL; D fucking R!
 | You can help by giving it to them every chance you get. |
Tori (widely known as Tulip) is an annoying, evil, bitchy, aggressive, retarded, pushy crack-addicted drama whore. Her favorite activites include flaming, yelling, bitching, whining to all her "friends", bashing ED (or anyone else who hurts the fatasses feelings), and shoving massive amounts of food down her fat throat.
She is currently a big fan of Happy Tree Friends and is rather obsessed with it. She is also an avid warrior against mary sues, despite the fact that she IS mary-sue herself. LOL becus we all kno shes defnitly Not a mary-sue! LOLOL
She used to hold art threads at least 100 years ago on the forums and basically flamed, ass-raped and tried to ban anyone who posted anything that pissed her off, or just anything the fat retard didn't agree with. Eventually, she decided to leave the forums, and she moved to a SheezyArt ripoff named FanArt Central. At the time of her joining, the site had quite a large community of HTF fan artists. She drew many crappy pieces of MSPaint work, and half of it was Hate-Art directed at Mary-sues, (despite being one herself), and MySpace (lol no wonder). She eventually got an account at DeviantArt and that's when all the drama started.
After signing up to DeviantArt, Tulip began to repost much of her FAC art. Tulip discovered many of the people she hated in the DA forums and she began to flame them once again; however, this resulted in hate-art, spam spills, napalm explosions and massive lulz. During this time, Tulip created another account on FAC, some more Hate-Art and more pointless OC's. Tulip had managed to manipulate several other HTF fan artists into joining the dark side, to which those she had wronged in the past decided to respond to with an Anti-Tulip Club. Unfortunately, due to incessant bitching and whining coming from the fat bitch Tulip's mouth, the club was eventually closed.
Even though she's currently obsessed with Happy Tree Friends and everything associated with it, she is also a part of other fandoms. What most people don't know about Tulip is that she used to be a huge Sonic the Hedgehog whore; she even had her own Sonic OC (which is almost the exact same a her HTF OC, with the only difference being a change of species). Recently, she's gained a new obsession with the shit band Fall Out Boy, which just proves how emo she is. The fat fuck has even managed to mix her fandoms together, turning the band members into shitty looking HTF characters (which was already done by the show's creators lol).
She is a huge hugbox whore, and is known to take any situation, blow it way out of proportion and then submit it to her journal so all of her friends will go "OMG! I am soooo sorri that hapend to u! I cant beleev thos basturds did tat!!!". Tulip, being the complete bitch she is, tries to attack anyone whose views are different from hers or are just "jealous" of her great and beautiful "art". Like all good little Tartlets, she hates having her art critiqued (especially by good artists who actually know what the fuck they're talking about), and if one attempts to give her any constructive criticism, she will go on a bat-shit crazy rampage and try to flame the commentator's ass and all his/her submissions straight to hell. This is, of course, only because we all know she's completely perfect in any way and her art can never improve because it's just so awesome. I mean, why else would she have so many wonderful friends that love and care about her enough to defend her against the evils of the internet every single chance they get?
She hates Myspace whores, /b/tards, EDiots, anyone who isn't fat, stupid, white and ugly like her, and anyone with any discernible talent who gets more attention on their art / deviantart pages than her; the fat bastard thinks everyone should bow down to her like she's a fucking queen, and her only real "friends" are people who will do anything she says, kiss her ass at every opportunity and won't think for themselves. She also loves people who will give the fat whore as much attention as she could possibly get, and insta-favs ALL of her submissions, always complements her, and never, EVAR, disagrees with her opinions. If one happens to call her out for her faggotry, she will not hesitate to give anonymous a piece of her mind. She pretends not to care when someone insults her, but then she goes on and bitches, rants and whines about it all day to her "friends". Anytime she is angry with someone, she gets all of her minions to confront him/her, as opposed to doing it herself. Her only known reason for doing this is: she's a fat ugly bitch with no wit or intelligence and knows that she'd get pwned by almost anyone; even a few of her "friends" don't like her, seeing as how they may or may not be secret agents intending to convey her personal information to some of her strongest enemies, such as Suzie Q and Anonymous. Her only form of retaliation when an enemy attacks her is deleting all the "mean" comments, calling them out for being immature (LOL), then turns around and acts like a huge hypocrite by slinging all the lame ass insults she has, and blocking them like a little pussy so they can't insult her back. Recently, it has been discovered that she is a racist; this accusation of racism was caused by her laughing at a blantly racist comment on DA, an action which she denies. Her most reliable (and seemingly only) friend, or real (not animated) love interest for that matter, is her boyfriend Ghuiado, who thinks Tulip is hot and wants to get a piece of her fat ass. The faggot recently left her for another girl, who is definately more attractive and less of a bitch than tulip took her fatass back after breaking up with his other girlfriend. It's a wonder her fat-fuck ass hasn't been b& yet.
Tori is fat, Nazi, fugly and retarded, and she'll do anything to make one hate her when she hates him/her. Surprisingly, the dyke likes teh cock and is rumored confirmed to be a furry; she's even gone far enough with it to have a relationship with an imaginary cartoon animal created by one of her friends. Some people say she is a rebellious timelord, which is why she has been living so long, able to jump from site to site in pursuit of a new flame victim; other dumbasses think her parents are from the future and own a cloning machine, making new little Tulips every second, and sending them out to do their evil bidding. Tulip is also rumored to be from hell, hence the name "Heck" and her being a demonic witch with the sole intent of finding you and murdering you alive, and trying to rape you (too bad her gat won't allow her to do so LOL). The truth, however, is that she's an annoying 15-year-old bitch who loves flaming, criticizing, eating, bitching and eating even moar. In fact, Tulip loves to eat 24/7 and will stuff almost anything in her mouth, including harbl. Tulip is known to regularly indulge in eat attacks, so WATCH THE FUCK OUT! Oddly, she happens to love sex (despite being a virgin), which is strange because noone is willing to even go near her for a multitude of reasons, the predominate one being an intense fear of catching her AIDS. Everyone thinks she got her AIDS from sex, but the truth is the bitch didn't know bout /b/'s pool. Srsly, who'd be willing to touch that fugly fat dyke any way?
NEWS FLASH: It looks like our favorite little TARTlet is giving up DA (And almost all internetz) for good this time, seeing as she hasn't shit out another crappy "secret" account for SOOOOOOO long. Whether the EDiots and /b/tards ran her off for good is still a mystery, but just don't be surprized if she creates another one of her famous "secret" accounts in a few months because she "missed all her friends SOOOOOOO much". Drama whore. Apparently, the retard seems to have came up with yet another account (http://i-am-a-rock.deviantart.com/). When she'll give up, nobody knows. Account b& lol
[edit] Liek, Worst Life EVAR. Srsly.
Recently, Tulip the retard posted a journal containing the details of why her life fails so much, so for the loyal readers of ED, anonymous has posted it on here before she deletes it after realizing what a retard she is since she's already deleted after realizing what a retard she is.
[edit] Why...? T_T
"Journal Entry: Mon Mar 5, 2007, 4:11 PM
MY BIRTHDAY IS NEAR...
Last night, I found out that one of my "friends" (now ex-friend) got a girlfriend. Oh woe is me? My other friends are taken too! WTH? I always thought my ex-friend did not like romance. Why did he have to get a girlfriend just now...? T_T
What's worse is that my mom forbids me to have a boyfriend at an early age, so guess what? I. BROKE. UP. WITH. CHEESE. (NOTE: Cheese is =Fanart-Freak's HTF fancharacter), because for those who fall in love with imaginary characters have no lives at all. DAMN YOU MOM! WHY MUST YOU RUIN MY LIFE?! I guess I'm better off single now, since what other people said, they don't have boyfriends either. T_T
Down with young love, and up with old love. Get over it people. kthxbai.
In other news, my mom messed up the alarm clock, so we hurried as quick as possible in order to go to school. Dad took me and my sister to school, but a little later than 8:25 am I suppose.
I think we're starting on another project in Career Ed. class in Wednesday (on god, not another one... T_T), and we are bound to represent our career projects tomorrow.
I have had a History quiz to study for. I started it today and could not finish it, since class time was running out, so I had to study it once more, and I probably will finish the quiz during first period study hall tomorrow.
School was alright today. :/
And I also want to be 18 years old for crying out loud, so I can do "more stuff". T.T;;"
[edit] OMG, ED IS SOOOO EVIL!
Behold, another one of Tori's shitty journals that she baleeted a few minutes after posting it:
"GOOD GOD! WHAT THE F**K?! (out of school too)
Journal Entry: Tue May 29, 2007, 7:14 PM
WARNING: RANT MODE AHEAD, INCLUDING STRONG ADULT LANGUAGE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (and no, this is not a hacker)
Okay! Since the ED incident, the fucking EDiots come bombarding throughout my page and submitted deviations! You know what? I find that so fucking unfair! I want that article of me taken down NOW!! Also, here is one of the examples:
[link]
And if you don't know what the other example is, it's hidden somewhere around my page, like on the first or second one.
And fuck all EDiots. I want them damned to hell for all I care... >:]
PS: If this attracts any stupid, fucking, shit-eating EDiots, or /b/tards, or if you find this journal to be real whiny or offensive, I will either (a. erase my rant section of the journal, (b. delete this whole entire journal, or (c. censor the naughty words!
---
IN OTHER NEWS: "I'm officially out of school. Yep, you heard me. But since we had a two hour delay, the awards ceremony was moved from 8:30 am until like 10:30 am. People in school got awards and so did I. Me, I got two awards and they are: two recognition awards from both Language Arts and Career Education class. Even my parents took them home before us students had to clean out our lockers, take out stuff, had lunch, and went outside. Outside of the school during the afternoon, there was Field Day (which I find to be the most boring activity ever, no offense). Seriously, I sat on the bleachers, watching the Field Day games going on, but it was so dang hot outside, I was really sweating, and had to move spots to get cooler breezes. But other than that, I'm glad school's over with, which means, more time on stuff! Wh00t! ^w^
I guess that's all the crap I have for today. Ta-ta for now!"
It's also been confirmed Tori is racist, but she's vehemently denied it and hid all the comments proving this. What a retard.
[edit] A few of Tori's most notable internet wars
[edit] The Suzie Q War
One day a mysterious arsonist named Suzie joined DA pretending to be Tulip and claimed that she was leaving while setting several accounts on fire, which began an epic day. On that day, flaming occurred, with napalm cannons and spam launchers being given out to anyone who wished to take part in the lulz; it was as big as the Jark war and just as deadly. When it was all over, Suzie, Tulip and Tulip's army were given week long bans and good times were to be had. Unfortunately, Tulip came back, due to her having another account on DA, on which she apologized to a few people and continued her rampage against several others. It was definitely an epic day in DeviantArt history.
Currently the infamous SuzieQ has arrived under a new alias, TORI-EQUALS-FAIL. She's been under heavy flames and spam, but she still perseveres through it all, her most potent opponent being FireDarkDragon. Not much is known about this latest comeback, but we can all be assured that she will not stop until the Tori and her retard bitch, FireFagDragon, are sent back to the deepest pits of hell from whence they came. It is not known whether Suzie Q will return for another try at defeating the fat terror once and for all, of if she's done with DA all together.
[edit] Tulip VS. Anonymous
A new war had broken out between the infamous Tori and the god of the internets himself, anonymous. Both fighters gathered their armies in an attempt to destroy each other, but as anonymous tried to take Tori down face-to-face, she pussied up and hid behind her sheep, which were told to do the dirty work for her with their lame comebacks, microscopic vocabularies and 5-year-old grammar skills. Anonymous gathered up some of his fiercest warriors, including Artist-for-rent, Nakedburrito, Jmonay, Halfhuman and ElectronicPest. SuzieQ couldn't fight at the time, but she promised she would be back for Tori's fat ass. She is currently discussing plans about a new attack, details on which will not be discussed. She may or may not be devising another plan for our fatty little retard lolcow.
[edit] Tori's Love Life
Yes, believe it or not, Tori actually DOES have a love life, even if it is incredibly insignificant and almost non-existent (much like her first boyfriend, see below). Her first (and only) official boyfriend was Cheese, an imaginary cartoon animal), showing just how pathetic and desperate the bitch really is. She eventually broke up with him after realizing how much of a fucking retard it was making her. Around the time she was dating Cheese, she was also involved with some dumbass named Ghuiado (OMG! CHEATER!!!). Eventually, he noticed that he didn't really want to be with such a fat bitch, so he left her for some other TARTlet, but got back with her shortly after for reasons unknown. This, however is obviously another one of her fabrications (moar liek FATbrications, amirite) due to the fact that she is a walking AIDS factory and even the hairiest ugliest nigger wouldn't dare even attempt to raep her.
[edit] Tori's Followers and Ass-Kissers:
Note: This is subject to change as Tori has a knack for losing all her friends / pissing people off.
- Mexican aspergers sufferer Gaby (Gav-Imp)
- Nerdy faggy douchebag Joe (wormy179)
- Annoying fucked up child Katie (ILurvSouthPark06)
- Shitty furry MSPaint artist Disco-bear-lover-96
- Retard fatty lover / internet tough guy Ghuiado, who pops a boner everytime he sees her fat cheeks rubbing together (and no, I don't mean her face)
- friendly 12 year old brat KOOLGAMES
- Australian retard KougraPaw
- Lesbian frog Lumitikal
- Mariroth (crushed-but-standing)
- On and off friend / enemy, and all around stupid bitch,Leyden Chavez (
TomBoyQueen, Leyden-Mania69) - Sarah Champion
- You
- Dumbass whore who needs to be fucking killed, Fucked up Bitch Dragger
- AshleeD (A.K.A. ShleeD)
- Possibly her biggest ass kisser of all, freidmouse, some fucknut pothead internet tough guy. He can be found on Deviant Art, and hangs around all the whiny little emo faggots, which is pretty strange considering he just turned 20 Last Thursday. PEDO ALURT!
- Pussy ass kisser Mattyh
- j44 the furry 17 year old camwhore
[edit] Tori's Thirteen-Year Old Victims & Haters:
- Psychotic 16 year old bitch (lol JB) Suzie Q, her 2nd most powerful rival (next to anonymous)
- (Un)popular alien/human love supporter EvilMarkerOfDoom
- Mentally disturbed Marina (Fanart-Freak)
- Spongebob fan dyke Anna Pearson (raccoonbros665)
- AIDS-infected lensflare artist Mike (MikeFox124)
- nerdy mexican Javier (flakeyJ)
- Mexican fag Jimmy (segathehedgehog)
- creepy bisexual 14 year old Electronicpest (b& by tori)
- God of bewbs Terrance (DemonFlyBoy)
- Skunk fucker IWP
- Fucktard who thinks he's funny Wes (lol b&)
- Anne-the-echidna
- Fat Albert
- Cousin Skeeter
- Hugo Chavez
- Dennis The Menace
- Your mom
- Osama Bin Laden
- George W Bush
- Hitler
- Hal Turner
- Pedobear after getting a most unsatisfactory performance from fatass tori
- Tom
- Anyone with a myspace
- Everyone from 4chan, 7chan and fanart-central
- Black Ppl
- Jews
- Furries
- Men women and children
- Japanophiles
- Whores
- Other fatties
- Whales
- Purelily
- Longcat, Speedycat, Limecat, Ceiling cat and all other 4chan cats
- Biggums
- Joseph Stalin
- Anonymous, definitely her most powerful rival.
- God
- Jesus
- Satan, since she screws up all the missions he gives her.
- The Retard with the spelling skills of a 5 year old, Allyourbace!
- Pussy licking bitch Halfhuman
- Azn nigra hotard Jmonay
- Fucktarted n00b who has patients Cyborg-Skunk
- Handy fucking mary-sue Charcunga
[edit] AshleeD
AshleeD (A.K.A. Shleed) is some fatass retard who pretends to hate Tulip when he isn't masturbating to pictures of her fat, mayo-covered tits. He just wants to get into her pants and fuck her 'till her head explodes. If spotted, he should be ridiculed, beaten, killed (preferably in the most horrific, brutal manner possible) and pissed on.
(Don't forget to shit on him too, for maximum lulz.)
He pretends not to care about this entry, but keeps getting rid of it like the retard pussy he is. He's even taken many precautions in order to conceal his identity and destroy any evidence, like taking his pictures off of his DA page and deleting all of his comments. Way to go Shleed, A winner is you.
[edit] A Letter to Tori from Mr. Anon Y. Mos
"I am Anon Y. Mos, and I have found you, Tori Sue Heck. I've been watching you since before you made it to FAC, back when you posted shitty MS paint hate art on the forums. Your art is still shitty, though now with more colored pencil, your journal is a crap-smeared emoboard where you cry about how awful your 'friends' are, how much your life sucks, and your lousy school day that nobody gives a shit about. Oooh, sorry, I forgot the obligatory (sry, is that wrd 2 long for u?) > face. If it's so bad, why don't you just end it? You're obviously living with more torment than anyone should ever have to deal with. Besides, if you try to kill yourself and fail (50% chance, look it up) then you'll get even MOAR attention! That would be great, wouldn't it? Then you could be the tragic hero, against the world, or at least the internets. And your followers would sing your praises and favourite your work (see sub-human scribbling) even more than they do now. So continue with your flame wars, hate art, dramawhoring, etc. You're just generating even more lulz for the rest of the world that watches you and laughs at what a sixteen-year-old girl you are. Surround yourself with your little desciples, and they'll talk about what a good artist you are, and what a nice person they see you as. Their naivete makes it even more hilarious. So go ahead, Tulip, flame me, ban me, it doesn't matter. I am not a person, I am not an individual, I am not a single entity. I am many, and we are invulnerable. Noble Suzie Q likewise cannot be stopped, and will continue her glorious work as long as you are around. For we are infinitly patient. We are every one of your past burns, every one of your future flames. We are everyone who doesn't agree with your view of the world and how it should be. We are those who look upon you and see the lowest form of human life. We never forgive, we never forget, and we always deliver. We are Anonymous, and we are the face of the internet."
BREAKING NEWS!!! Mr. Anon Y. Mos has just sent the young fatass retard Tori new message, reading... (Tori's statements are in bold)
"Hello Tori, this is Anon Y. Mos, and we're baaaaaaack! I told you banning us would do no good, there will always be a troll under the bridge to be kicked back down by the emofag goatsies gruff. After the ensuing lulz, the troll always climbs right back up again. Anyways, I forgot in my last correspondence to mention how much we enjoyed reading some of your previous journal entries. March 5, we think, provides a wonderful window (see: psycho-bitch vision) into the world of Tulip. Let us see if we remember some of the passages clearly . . . hmmm . . . oh yes! I believe it went something like this:
Last night, I found out that one of my "friends" (now ex-friend) got a girlfriend. Oh woe is me? My other friends are taken too! WTH? I always thought my ex-friend did not like romance. Why did he have to get a girlfriend just now...? T_T
"I don't know, is woe you? Yes, damn your friend, that filthy son of a bitch. How could he lie to you, the most lovable person in the world, and go out with someone no doubt less attractive and more bitchy than you? Such a possibility is inconceivable. But that's our dear Tori, facing adversity and coming out the other side with only a few tear stains on her cheeks, and maybe (if we're lucky) some blood dripping from her poorly-cut wrists."
What's worse is that my mom forbids me to have a boyfriend at an early age, so guess what? I. BROKE. UP. WITH. CHEESE. (NOTE: Cheese is =Fanart-Freak's HTF fancharacter), because for those who fall in love with imaginary characters have no lives at all. DAMN YOU MOM! WHY MUST YOU RUIN MY LIFE?! I guess I'm better off single now, since what other people said, they don't have boyfriends either. T_T
"Single people are the best to ask advice on about relationships, aren't they? You didn't need that Cheese guy anyway, what with his non-existentness and all. That's extra emotional baggage you don't need right now, at the stressful age of 15. However, we must still blame your mother for this, because now that your life is ruined, there's no point in continuing on, is there? Apparently we were mistaken. We would have understood back in March if you had become an hero. But it's April now, and you are quite obviously still alive and posting your MS Shit art for the world to stab their eyes out after having beared witness to it. Good luck (ever) finding yourself someone with a penis who can stand you presence long enough to even say, 'Hello-oh God, what am I doing talking to you?!'"
And I also want to be 18 years old for crying out loud, so I can do 'more stuff'. T.T;;
"Do 'more stuff'? Yes, like smoking cigarettes, wasting your parent's money in casinos and on lottery tickets (if you win, maybe you'd be able to afford Photoshop, or even better, you could take some art classes!!), and *gasp* legally have sex!!! I know that's the first thing I do every day: look for fugly, winy girls who just turned 18 and fuck the jailbait out of them, 'cause that's what they want. If I can't find three by noon, it's been a bad day. I know that's the moar stuff we looked forward to when we were your age.
"Well, our work here is done. Thankfully, you won't be around to report us, at least not until Friday, amirite? Now Tori, don't forget about us. It would break our hearts if we ever thought that you were not our friend. We'll be back soon for another chat, never fear. I do so enjoy our conversations, don't you?"
"Remember, we never forgive, we never forget, and we always deliver. We are Anonymous, and we are the face of the internet." How true. Anon Y. Mos will sure go down in history. We salute you for your endless achievements and helping to make the internet a better place to be.
[edit] A little poem / fanfic from crazymothafucka to tori
Well Tori, I know how emo you can get, so before you start writing faggy gothic poems, I wrote one for you!
I am awash in blood and pain, Tearing, Shattering, Black roses are in my path, I write in inks of doom, The normals all hate me for they are fools, I cry even as I write, Could I find a lonelier place to be, Intoxicated with blood, No solace for the unforgiven, I will show the world one day, Endless life in the darkness.
Hmm, no, that doesn't seem right. I know! How about this one?
I am awash in cakes and pies, Eating, Devouring, Chocolate chip cookies are strewn in my path, I eat cupcakes of doom, The non-fatties hate me for they are not obese, I cry even as I eat, Could I find a tastier place to be, Intoxicated with doughnuts, No solace for the pastries, I will show the world one day, Endless life in the refrigerator.
Perfect! I hope you like it tori!
BUT WAIT! That's not all! I also wrote you a short fanfic, considering you love it when your "fans" give you as much publicity as possible. So Without further delay, I present to you, the life of Tori Sue Heck.
CHAPTER 1: The creation of Tori Sue Heck, the furfag
Once upon a time there was a young furry bitch named Tori Sue Heck. She walked down the street, where she noticed a cute lil bunny rabbit. She picked it up and gazed at its cuteness, and in the blink of an eye, devoured the poor creature. From this day on, after realizing the deliciousness of the tasty little morsel, she decided to make her fursona a delicious (retard) bunny rabbit. But then, something else caught her eye. It was a piece of paper and a pencil. She began drawing away, and when she looked down upon her new creation, she saw that it was good. Unfortunately, noone else felt the same way. A few people started to criticize the young furfag's art.
CHAPTER 2: Tori’s minions of evil
In a complete state of shock, she flew into a state of rage and tried to kill them all, resulting in the dumb bitch almost pwning herself (lol retard), so she decided she'd bitch and whine until help came. And sure enough, they came to her rescue! Her minions of evil rose up from the depths of their home, the sewers, and attacked her prey for her! Being eternally grateful, she showed her gratitude the only way she knew how. Beating them halfway to death and making them all her slaves. And she looked down upon them, and saw that it was good.
CHAPTER 3: Anon attacks
All was right in the land of Tori, until one day, a brave warrior (sir anonymous) and a baeutiful JB maiden (Suzie Q) came to defeat the fat whore. They had her and her friends in their control, and locked them in the Intarwebz jail, to spend the remainder of their days there, and returned to their kingdom. But through a burst of dumb luck, the bitch somehow escaped, letting her friends out as well (seeing as they were her only means of survival). She had already contemplated waging war against anon and suzie, so with her “friends”, she traveled for many days and many nights to the land of /b/ to find these valiant warriors and take them down. Then she spotted him. In all his glory, the mighty warrior of /b/ charged at Tori and her friends in a swift blaze of fury. Having felt the utter disappointment of being thoroughly pwned, Tori walked off and cried herself to sleep, gaining much sympathy from her dumbass friends.
CHAPTER 4: The Suzie Q wars
Tori and friends walked along their path, forgetting their purpose for traveling so far into the land of /b/ in the first place. Then, they met face to face. “So we meet again, my fat friend”, said Suzie Q, with a peculiar smirk spread across her face. “You! HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!! I will not accept this from someone like you! You’re just jealous of my wonderful art!” Barked fatty Tori, fuming, her fat face as read as a raging goatse. “Very well then. You may be a better artist (not rly), but we’ll finally see who survives in a battle to the death!” “Fine! I’ll take you down!” Tori said. And so, they engaged in battle. Tori, instead of really fighting, tried to get her minions to do her work for her again. But what she had not expected, is that Suzie had reinforcements, too. In a puff of smoke, Suzie Q disappeared, leaving only an army of the greatest, cheapest e-warriors DA has to offer, such as Artist-for-rent, Nakedburrito and ElectronicPest. With these skilled fighters, Tori’s army didn’t stand a chance.
CHAPTER 5: The Climax
Then Suzie Popped out of nowhere and kidnapped Tori, taking her to her evil lair. She then presented the fat young whore as a sacrifice to the monster, Patrick Stump, hat stealer and virgin raepist. “Hmm, yeah. I bet she will be excellent as a new sex slave.” He said. “Of course!” Said Suzie Q. “Just look at her. Five hundred and seventy two pounds of fat whore, perfect for giving head.” “Suck my cock!” Said Patrick to his new slave, Tori. He hit her over the head with a club, resulting in her falling to the ground. Afraid of being tortured, she did as she was told. She wrapped he wet lips around his hueg cock, sucking away like it was a lollipop. Eventually, she took a liking to it, considering it was the closest to sex she ever got. One day, Patrick Slump got tired, and decided to KILL THE FAT BITCH WITH FIRE! So he locked her in his basement and set it ablaze, burning the whole building to the ground, including the fat whore. And that, was the last anyone ever saw of Tori sue heck. END
So Tori, What do you think? Great, isn't it? I knew you'd love it!
you furry fool tap that ass like a keg
[edit] Tori's Lovely Artwork
Oh, God, make me unsee it.
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[edit] Her especially beautiful artwork
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Notice how in two of the pictures she assumes the viewer is fucktarded (since he/she would have to be to associated with her) and actually puts captions below the pictures so he/she can tell what the characters are doing. Yeah, like the viewer couldn't already tell that guy was eating mints, or the other guy was holding a barf-bag. Way to go, dumbass.
[edit] Tori's smut pics LOLOL
 LOL is she really THAT desperate? |
 Typical fatass art work. |
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 Mmm, delicious fruit |
[edit] Aftermath
Eventually, half of the butthurt Anti-Tulip Club was banned for being Jewish and fagging up the already faggotry-littered DA.
Lesbian slut Anna was eventually banned for being fat and not learning to tits or gtfo, Mike was banned for being black, and the others were banned for being generally unfunny. The elusive Suzie Q. is still on the loose, while Anonymous is on to much bigger and better things; things that will make fatass Tori look like an amoeba in comparison. Once again, we salute you Anon Y. Mos. May your name be praised throughout history.
In the end, Tulip fucked everyone. One can only hope she rises to the status an hero soon.
Please note that commenting on Tulip’s journal with anything negative now will result in the banhammer (but only because of her threats to eat the Admin's children if they let any harm befall her).
The retard can be lulzed to death at tulipsue7@yahoo.com, assuming the retard pussy hasn't abandoned it yet.
[edit] Video Footage
She has started to do something about her weight.
[edit] The psychological Enigma that is Tori Sue Heck's mind
Apparently, Tori's "friends" aren't always going to be there to save her fat ass from danger, so occasionally she tries to take the matter into her own sausage look-alike hands. Here are some of the tactics she uses, and what you can do to put the fat bitch in her place.
[edit] Tori's trolling / flaming mechanisms, and how to fight back
Tori has many methods of trying to scare off her enemies, so we're going to show you some of them, and then display the proper reversal to such faggotry.
- 1. Probably one of her most common insults, which involves her talking to all her bitches about how pathetic her opponent is. This is the easiest to counter, and has many options you can use to piss her off even moar. If you get a message that looks a little something like this - "Wow, that's so immature / pathetic. I can't believe how low some people can be." - Don't worry. It's just her failed attempt at not sounding like a mindless fat teenage whore. What you should do is either...
- a. Point out her blatantly stupidity by touching issues like her ass-kissing friends, her whiny journals that she always deletes about 2 days after being put up, her Mary Sue characters, most of which she doesn't use (due to the fact of having too damn many of them), and her savage hypocrisy and history of acting even more childish and retarded then everyone else.
- b. NO U.
- 2. The next most common insult, she'll most likely say something along the lines of this - "You're just jealous of my art! I don't see of YOUR deviations!"
- a. Apparently, it shouldn't be too hard to disprove this statements and burst her over-inflated ego. Obviously, this is complete bullshit. Even if you can't draw, that's better than shitty mspaint created pieces of shit from the whacked out imagination of a seriously fucked up horny virgin 15 year old fat bitch. And if you do happen to be a good artist (proving her statement to be even more fucktarded), why not show off your abilities? In fact, seeing as how the slut loevs her sum fanart, why not take her character and make a little "fanart" of your own? (preferably dick-chick / guro / scat porn) Than she'll know who the superior artist of DA truly is.
- b. Even if you can't draw, just fuck up her character anyway. The response is sure to bring along epic levels of lulz.
- c. If she or anyone else attempts to bring the light the fact your lack of drawings make you unable to critique her, bring up the fact that reviewers often aren't directors or writers themselves. For example: "Regardless of my lack of art, I can still review your work and say how much it sucks. Film Reviewers aren't exactly Directors or Screenwriters, correct? And I don't suppose they are jealous of the director's shitty work if they say how bad it is, are they?" That should shut them up about it for a while, at least.
- 3. Her absolutely guaranteed response, no matter what else happens, she will always, ALWAYS, make some shitty journal telling all her little whiny bitches how [insert emotion here] she is because of her new mortal nemesis, [insert name here]. She'll also most likely put some other drama inducing crap in, including what happened at school, what she ate (which is a present factor in damn near all of her journals, despite the original topic), how much she haets ED (lol), and why she hates her "friends" for being moar popular than her. (Who's jealous nao?)
- a. Just make a simple observation on her new extremely whiny, emo, fat teenage 16 year old bitch angst ridden drama generating piece of shit.
- b. Lulz her ass straight to hell. TORI HATES THE LULZ! lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz
- 4. When out of ideas, Tori might try to use the "no life" comeback. As the name states, she'll insult you for supposedly having "no life".
- a. This is quite lulzy in itself. Just take a brief moment to think about it. Do you see anything wrong with this claim of hers? No? How about the fact that she was desperate enough to date an imaginary cartoon character (an animal at that) and all of her friends just happen to be OL and she has none IRL? And if she tries to turn it around and say YOU have no friends, just laugh it off. The dumb bitch's brain has obviously been pretty screwed up from spending too many hours on the internet and not enough time hauling her fat ass off the couch and into a fucking gym.
- b. Again, if you need an alternative to solution a., just lulz her ass straight to hell. This is, of course, the best remedy for mental retardation of her degree.
- 5. Eventually, her friends will be back from taking a break from her whining. When that happens, all her internet tough guys and wannabe smart ppls are going to try to humiliate you and defend their fat overlord. If this does happen, just use on of the above techniques, or if you want to make it unique and personally, dig up some dirt / personal info on them and exploit it against them to your heart's content.
- 5 No matter what else happens, make sure to remind her of her ungodly disproportioned body, and pray she's not too weighed down by fat to respond. Her idiocy is always a great source of lulz.
[edit] Tori's special friends
This segment of the page is dedicated to all of Tori's ass-kissing minions that try their hardest to stick up for their fat queen. In great blazes of glory, instead of doing anything productive / reasonable, they all made complete fools of themselves, creating great lulz for generations to come. We all know they were asking for it, so here they are! This is reserved for only her HUGEST FANS.
[edit] friedmouse420
Isn't one of Tori's biggest ass-kissers, but we think he should be mentioned anyway, since he's such a fucking fucktard.
[edit] Mattyh50
This special segment is dedicated to our little friend, Mattyh50, who was just asking to be mentioned in this article. So here you go Mattyh50! I dub thee, the furtard who thinks he's funny! Go ahead, revel in your victory! You're a celebrity now, bitch!
[edit] Penni
Definately one of Tori's biggest enemies / friends / whatever, this girl is certainly confused. She too is a fatty (as seen from some of the pictures from her old account). Srsly, this bitch needs to make up her damned mind. One minute she hates Tori, the next she's fighting tooth and nail to lick her ears. So good going genius, you landed yourself in the wall of shame, ED style.
[edit] Events in Tori's life
- Fifteen years ago Last Thursday, Tori Sue Heck was born.
- Last Thursday, Your Mom and Tori's mom had sex.
- This Thursday, Your Sister and Tori are gonna have sex.
- In eighty years this Thursday, Tori will die. Let's celebrate with a countdown.
[edit] External Links
- Tori's DA account, proof that she's an emo furry bitch. (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's Second DA account (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's Third DA account, (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's fourth DA account, and new main account(LOL DEAD)
- Tori's fifth and brand new (And possibly last?) account LOL BITCH IS A ROCK (PLZ FLAME) BALEETED!
- Tori's FAC account (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's Second FAC account (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's FUC account (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's Youtube account (PLZ FLAME)NOTE: She has to add you as a friend before you can say anything to her. Appease her palate with the charred flesh of children and mexicans (and of course delicious HTF plushies)
- Her sheezy art profile (LOL DEAD)
- Tori's Hentai-Foundry account LOL (PLZ FLAME)
- Her fARTGROUNDS account. Go for it.(ABANDONED)
- Her photobucket account and probably the site she is most active on (PLZ FLAME)
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