South Park
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
South Park is a poorly drawn cartoon series used as a way to voice the creators' political opinions. Created by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, it debuted on Comedy Central in 1997, and has since gone from gross-out comedy to libertarian propaganda for the right (with the occasional pro-gay propaganda, so the two can wear dresses and blow each other in public without being branded self-loathing closet cases). This show has produced more memes and submemes than the last 50 years of public television combined. It is also known along with Total Drama Island to be the only two animated shows to ever have a white man have sex with a negro.
For a time South Park was funny and quotable for 12 year olds, but then Parker and Stone decided to turn the show into a soap box for their right-wing beliefs. Occasionally, they'll reverse their rantings when it becomes fashionable, as in the case when they bashed Wal-Mart for the same shit Starbucks does or when they finally did an episode admitting that Global Warming was real after a series of anti-global warming episodes. Maybe. I wasn't really paying close attention as I was busy braiding my pubes.
There is no given idea for why people would watch this television show. Apparently, watching it makes you the greatest thing known to man, and totally not a cocksucker.
Furthermore, every episode ends up with a moral at the end of the story. These morals are often there so Parker and Stone can cover up their hack writing and use of strawman arguments. They claim they can take the piss out of whatever they want because they have freedom of speech, kind of like Encyclopedia Dramatica.
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Main Characters
Stan
Whiny little faggot who is Trey Parker's avatar on the show. Despite being the least interesting of all of the characters, he gets a large amount of screen time with his fucktarded father. Currently dating Wendy Testaburger (stand-in for Trey Parker's dumb slut ex-girlfriend, who dumped Trey days before South Park hit the airwaves and left him a fucking millionaire).
Though he is supposed to be best friends with Kyle, Stan has no problems whatsoever with selling Kyle out to Cartman or taking Cartman's side whenever Kyle and Cartman feud. Some neckbeards believe Stan has a higher purpose and is God, when in fact he's as interesting as watching flies on shit.
Kyle
Matt Stone's very own avatar. Like all Jews he is a fluffy, whiny, curly haired Jew bitch. This causes people to question his gender and age. The sight of him mercilessly turns 16 year old girls that waste their time on deviantART into...well...pedophiles. It is enough to make a high authority figure cry.
On the other side, he is only a Jew just because his mother forces him to. Therefore, if he did not scream in shock at the site of a picture of Hitler and complain constantly, then people would think he is not Jewish.
Knowing him, he has probably slept with Ariel Sheraton or gotten raped by a 16 year old girl. He also enjoys good and humorous television.
Kenny
The ex-red shirt from an alcoholic family. He's the most obscene of all the boys but because his parka muffles his voice, it's difficult to make out exactly what he's saying without the closed captioning on. Parker and Stone most likely thought this was a hilarious idea, allowing them to make him say whatever raunchy shit they wanted. This would be a great idea, if anybody cared two shits about Kenny himself.
When the movie came out, all the fantards went batshit insane because for the first time, it was revealed what Kenny actually looked like. Why anyone would care is beyond our understanding because all the South Park characters look exactly the fucking same.
Earlier in the series, Kenny died in almost every episode as the show's running gag. This lasted for five seasons until Parker and Stone decided to kill Kenny off for good and replace him with Butters. Unfortunately, two things happened: Comedy Central went batshit nuts over losing merchandise money off Kenny shirts, dolls, and sticker books; and Parker and Stone made Butters into such a faggy whipping boy for the other kids that Comedy Central was forced to put the banhammer on Parker and Stone to get them to leave Butters alone. So Kenny was brought back in season six's finale and now only dies once every season, which is often the only thing Kenny does nowadays.
In the eyes of the fangirls, Kenny is thought of as being the "sexiest" of the boys and many a fanfic has spawned about him whoring himself out to the other boys for anonymous sex for money for the emo factor. Then again, it's obviously it was written by the people at deviantART.
Butters
A pussy who gets the shit beaten out of him by his mentally ill mother and closet-homosexual father, often after Cartman does something and frames Butters for it so that he can watch Butters be tortured for his amusement.
Butters was a background character promoted up the ladder as Kenny's replacement with the intent that instead of dying each episode, Butters would be tortured and abused and treated as the bitchboy of the group. But this got stopped when fans latched onto the character and Comedy Central, upon being told that Butter's gimmick would be "his parents beat him black and blue", forced Butters from this fate and into a secondary supporting cast member role.
Thanks to the DA Tartlets, Butters is usually paired with Eric Cartman as a homosexual couple and drawn often like a tranny, even though Cartman is the one who dresses like a girl (a fact that Butters revealed to his entire class and a group of soldiers, to Cartman's horror and shame) and sucked Butter's cock after drugging him. Despite this, Butters' tranny persona "Marjorine" has become popular in fanart to further the faggotry.
The fact that all the characters are under 10 years old means that the creators are not only fabulous faggots but pedophiles as well. Really. We're HIV positive.
Special Mentions
Eric Cartman
Cartman is the show's break-out character, to such an extent that Parker and Stone have both retconned the history of the series to shove Cartman to the forefront of their vision of South Park, when they initially pitched the series. However, if you watch the original batch of episodes, you'll see that Cartman was nothing more than a supporting cast, mentally retarded fat kid who rose to fame and overtook the show from Stan and Kyle on the back of two memes: "Kyle's Mom is a Big, Fat Bitch" and "BEEFCAKE!!!!!"
Eric is the racist, sociopathic closet case, and as the self-important spawn of a hermaphrodite, Cartman soon rose to fame as the defining character of the series. At some point, he's a very good avatar of the Jews too.
The evolution of Cartman can be seen in three forms:
- Mentally retarded kid who gets manipulated by the others, culminating in him being mock-crucified and abandoned in the desert for several weeks. (Seasons 1-3)
- Manipulative schemer who seeks to make a million dollars, but who occasionally gets fucked over by people smarter than he is, and will horribly fuck up anyone who fucks with him by having their parents murdered and said parents corpses turned into chili that is they are then manipulated into eating. (Seasons 4-5)
- Satanically evil figure with no soul who will fuck you up just because. (Season 6-present)
Some argue Cartman jumped the shark when he entered the third phase, since Parker and Stone removed any remaining elements of being a sympathetic character from Cartman and turned him into a fat ball of pure evil incarnate.
Most fans like to point out, at every chance possible, Cartman's immense faggotry:
- Making out with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Justin Timberlake while dressed up like Brittany Spears.
- Date-raping Butters with NyQuil so he could stick Butter's dick into his mouth.
- His obsession with making Kyle suck his balls, via a bet to get his tiny balls sucked off by him in the overrated Imaginationland trilogy. He also joined NAMBLA on one occasion, leading to all his friends (all boys) being almost raped. He also fucked Leonardo Di Caprio while in drag, though he was not mentally sound at the time, having suffered a blow to the head that made him think he was a child prostitute of Vietnamese descent.
- Giving Ben Affleck a handjob on multiple occasions.
Cartman's hatred of Jews (and love for both Hitler and Mel Gibson), as well as his weight, has caused many to speculate that Cartman's biological mother (who had sex with his tranny mother and got knocked up by him/her) is Kyle's mom, making Cartman half-Jewish. Actually, he's fucking Jewish. It's only a way to make Kyle's the good guy in all of the show, the roles have been switched purposely by Stone and Parker. Watch South Park thinking Kyle's the innocent citizen and Cartman the Jew, it all works good now.
Chef
A stereotypical obese nigger who would give the children advice whilst occasionally bursting into song about fucking white wymen. Eventually became a pedophile (as a metaphor for Scientology - seriously) and a Darth Vader clone. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SCAMMERS ON MY MOTHERFUCKIN' LIFE! Since he has slept with over 9,000 women, it is no doubt he has herpes. Or Scientology pamphlets.
Like every religious person (Christfags, Jews, Muslims, atheists etc.), Hayes was happy to take the piss out of other peoples' beliefs but left South Park forever when they started making fun of his own religion cult. So Parker and Stone turned Hayes' Chef into a brainwashed, globetrotting pedophile who was no longer interested in "making sweet love to you, woman", but instead interested in putting his balls in Kyle's rectum after he'd joined a "fruity little club" called the Super Adventure Club.
It is also believed that Hayes was murdered by members of the cult, due to the fact that he did not stick his ass 4 feet in the air for them when questioned about his opinion on the episode that he "quit" because of. This is purely speculation and should not be taken as fact. Just saying.....
South Park Banned in Russia
ЮЖНЫЙ ПАРК YS SYMBOL OFF COЯЯUPT WEST SEИT AS PAЯT OF SECЯET PLAИ BY COMЯADE CLINTOИ TO WEAKEИ MORAL FIBEЯ OF YOUИG BOLSHEVIKS, IИSTIL FALSE VALUES OF CAPTIALISM AИD PЯEVEИT GLOЯIOUS ЯISE TO POWEЯ OF COMЯADE PUTIN. THANKFULLY, OИ 9TH OF SEPTEMBEЯ 2008 YT WAS ИAMED AS "EXTЯEMIST AИD OFFEИSIVE" BY GLOЯIOUS ЯUSSIAИ PЯOSECUTOЯ. 9TH SEPTEMBEЯ - DEATH OF TOLSTOY, AИD DEATH OF SOUTH PAЯK!
COMЯADE STOИE YS ИOW EИJOYIИG SIBEЯIAИ HOSPITALITY, WHILE COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ AWAITS FIЯIИG SQUAD. ALL GLOЯY TO GLOЯIOUS PEOPLE'S ЯEVOLUTIOИ!
PAЯKEЯ AND STOИE
COMЯADE STOИE AИD COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ AЯE CAPITALIST ЯUИИING OИE-TRICK POИIES MAKIИG ЯEPEATED AИD DOOMED ATTEPTS TO BЯEAK OUT OF IИSTAИT FAME CUL-DE-SAC. FAMOUS ATTEMPT TO SELL SHOW "THAT'S MY BUSH" TO IMPEЯIALIST PЯOPAGAИDA ИEWOЯK COMEDY CEИTЯAL PЯOVED UИSUCCESFUL, AИD DESCЯIBED BY PAИEL OF BOLSHEVIK MEDIA CЯITICS AS "FULL OF FYIL."
BOTH CLAIM TO BE LIBETAЯIAИ TROTSKYITES SUPPOЯTIИG COMMOИ MAИ, BUT AЯE SECЯET ИEOCOИS IN FULL SUPPOЯT OF HEGEMOИIC GLOBAL ИEOCOИ ЯEGIME. COMЯADE STONE ЯEPORTED TO BE OVEЯBEAЯIИG ALCOHOLIC BULLY. WHO ALSO WEAЯ THE UИDEЯCLOTHES OF A WOMAN TO DЯAW ATTEИTIOИ AWAY FROM HIS CLOSET HOMOSEXUALITY. COMЯADE PAЯKEЯ CLAIM TO BE SUPPOЯTEЯ OF ИAZI EUGENICS, BUT IИ THE EИD MAЯЯY ASIAИ MAIL OЯDEЯ BЯIDE. SEE WESTERИ HYPOCRISY DIG YTS OWN GЯAVE!
| —ЯUSSIAИ PЯOSECUTOЯ GENEЯAL, IN WAЯИING TO TЯAITOЯOUS 2X2 NETWOЯK. |
| —KOИSTAИTIИ BEИDAS, HEAD OF ЯUSSIAИ UИIOИ OF EVAИGELICAL CHЯISTIAИS. |
Scientology Episode
The infamous episode in which Scifags convince Stan that he is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard and has been chosen to lead the church. After telling Tom Cruise that he doesn't think much of his acting, Tom locks himself in Stan's closet and refuses to leave despite the best efforts of John Travolta, Nichole Kidman and R. Kelly, resulting in a ridiculously drawn out and overused joke about Tom Cruise's obvious closet faggotry.
In reaction to the episode, Cruise immediately went into panty bunched nerd rage mode and threatened to stop promoting his fail movie Mission Impossible 3 if Viacom aired the episode again (since Viacom and the movie studio have the same owner). After initially obliging, Viacom let YouTube have at it...which is pretty impressive since Viacom have been suing YouTube over Daily Show and Colbert Report clips for at least 100 years.
Shit Episode
South Park had an episode of saying nothing but "shit" uncensored on TV. A counter in the corner stated that they said shit 162 times in the 22 minute air time. It would have been quite an impressive feat, had the episode not been nearly indistinguishable from every other episode of South Park ever made.
The Movie
When South Park first debuted, everyone and their mother believed that the show would self-destruct in a trail of "flavor of the week" failure once the show's shock appeal wore off. So Parker and Stone convinced Paramount to greenlight a movie version of the series, in the guise of a musical about freedom of speech and censorship, as production of the movie came just as the Columbine High School shooting took place and everyone was demanding censorship of everything remotely controversial.
After several weeks of hard work, the film debuted in the summer of 1999 and was a surprise hit, in spite of the constant musical numbers and a subplot about Saddam Hussein fucking Satan in a mad grab for power in the afterlife. Many attribute the success to the fact that Parker and Stone were allowed to say "fuck", a fact that was a major plot point of the film's story.
South Park and The Internet
Season 12 includes a couple of poorly-written episodes that give nods to what they must perceive as the "Internet culture". More specifically "Over-Logging" and the more widely received "Canada on Strike", which features a bunch of old and forced memes killing one another. Real original.
Not until there is an episode with gay Jewish niggers from outer-space BAWWWWWWing and riding exploding yellow vans into WTC whilst doing barrel rolls for Sparta only to be greeted by a zerg rush of longcats and Raptor Jesuses firing lazors out of their goatse eyesockets only to not have enough minerals to construct additional pylons or spawn more overlords to protect themselves from an impending irl ddos banhammer from an anonymous lemonparty spawned by Michael Phelps who doesn't afraid of anything that passes the time by dividing by zero while furfags jerk off to tubgirl at least 100 times and refuse to listen to Ondore's lies before being commanded by Brian Peppers to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING in order to become an hero thus resulting in over 9,000 facepalms will they be vindicated from the status of panderers to the diseased middle-class who at the same time ask how to shot web while Steve Irwin makes his last move to beat George Bush in a game of Yu-Gi-Oh.
South Park and Its Fanbase
| —Typical South Park fan. I swears it! |
The fanbase of the show, which becomes moar fail and cancerous with each season, generally consists of:
- Weeaboo who constantly draw the characters in animu style so they won't feel bad about fantasizing over 8-year old cock (or 9, who gives a fuck when the creators can't even make up their mind) when it's drawn "sexily".
- 16-year old girls who fantasize of screwing the main boys and that BAWWW if anyone mocks their true love. These can be found easily on deviantART along with the weeaboos.
- A rabid slash fandom that consists of both above categories, as well as the occasional furfag and Hot Topic posers. Many of their masterpieces can be found on Fanfiction.net, its bastard spawn FOS-FF, and DA. Usually involves Kyle sucking Stans dick.
- Basement dwellers that spend all their time on the "South Park Studios" message board, ready to kill each other over opinions on a fucking cartoon show. These types tend to proclaim themselves as being "mature" and think they know the show better than the own creators, but in fact tend to be 13-year old boys or middle-aged men who throw a tantrum if someone calls them out on their bullshit, and start flamewars over being proven wrong.
- The fans that act like every episode is free of flaws and start internet drama over someone not agreeing with their blatant ass-kissing, though you also get plenty of the Emos who troll and whine about the show not being like the "classic" seasons, yet continue to watch just for the purpose of bitching. All of these and more tend to dwell mostly on South Park Studios. Others use AllAbout-SP for their faggotry.
- In rarer instances, you get butthurt het diehards (usually Stan/Wendy) that cry moar over how the slashers keep ruining "their" show. Welcome to the South Park fandom, fags.
- You also get retarded 14-16-year-old upper middle class children who think that everything ever said by the show is funny, and watch it while their mom goes out to get them hot-pockets and weed. Example- ned15
- Stoners that think that saying one liners while doing an impression of Cartman is the most funny original thing ever said. Example- RideTheLightning
- 15 or 16 year old fags who have no life outside the internet and masturbate to their internet "friends" [
Examples of these fans include:
- Mewster
A psychotic, middle-aged schoolteacher whose hate for Cartman was such serious business, he created a (now baleeted) site with shotacon-worthy fanart to showcase just HOW much he hated the character. He was also known to flame and troll anyone he considered to be a Cartman fan, claiming that Cartman fans drove him to insanity. He was worshiped as a BNF among Cartman haters, until his wife got pissed and told him to leave the BBS. He later reregistered as Cartman's Top Enemy and continued to troll. Most of the fans who used to think he was the lulz came to see what a retard he was and cut ties with him for their own sanity.
How do they do it?
Creating an episode of south park is an easy task, first come up with a list of subjects that people may find touchy. So let's take Christianity, Gay marriage, whale hunting, and the economy. Now all we ave to do is tie these all together. It would go like this: Jesus comes down from heaven (which turns out to be a brothel) and wants to marry Mr.Garrison but still keep his day job being a gay prostitute. Jesus has a plan to stimulate the economy by sending all blacks to prison to assemble atomic bombs to sell to terrorists which in turn nuke whales. At this point someone in the background would say "all the blacks are already in prison" and later in the episode everyone in town would be wearing T-shirts like "Send the blacks to prison for Gay Jesus" and at some point god would turn out to be Richard Dawkins. Then parker and stone would do an interview claiming they have NO idea why people hate their show so much. And that their creative expression is protected under the first amendment.
Gallery
Now, for your viewing pleasure...androgynous, pre-pubescent kids having buttsecks, as per Encyclopedia Dramatica's requirements:
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