UFO
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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A UFO is what guilty people blame for their sudden disappearances, when they were actually burying a stupid nigra they picked up from a KFC. Subsequently, like minded people congregate together to exchange stories. Many lulz ensue.
[edit] Eyewitness Account #1
<ED_P> omg: http://www.ldi5.com/i/ufo/nat/plasmoide2.jpg. that's wut i saw <DanF_DrC> ED_P, are you serious? <ED_P> yes <ED_P> cept <ED_P> it was smaller <ED_P> and more yellowish <ED_P> very, very bright <ED_P> like <ED_P> a flashlight <DanF_DrC> ED_P, try to form longer more descriptive sentences. tell me what happened. how it moved, how long it took etc <ED_P> it didn't move from side to side. it move more like, toward me, you know? <ED_P> the centre of the light was like the picture u showed <ED_P> but coming from it <ED_P> was more light <ED_P> like, in a big radius <DanF_DrC> ED_P, I see. so it had a core and a larger transparent luminous shell outside? <ED_P> yeah yeah, like that. <DanF_DrC> ok. was the shell well defined? sharp edge <ED_P> it was more of a soft hue <Grigory> what dos, aleyan look lyik? <ED_P> i saw an alien with the lite <DanF_DrC> ED_P, how far away was it? how big? where and when did you see it? for how long? any sounds? <ED_P> it had like <ED_P> uhh <ED_P> it was a few meters away <Grigory> did it hav, powr sourc? <ED_P> yeah grigory <ED_P> AA battery <ED_P> from what i could tell <DanF_DrC> ED_P, hmm are you serious? <ED_P> yeah <ED_P> i saw a ufo that ran on AA batteries <DanF_DrC> you saw an alien holding an AA battery? <Grigory> wat is, battery
[edit] Eyewitness Account #2
<DanF_DrC> hi <Grigory> how do i know i sen ufo???? <DanF_DrC> hehe, if you don't know for sure then you may never know. what did you see? <Grigory> saw big, gren lite go fast then it come down in trees far over <Grigory> i lok to see and i find cheesburger <Grigory> ?? <Grigory> wat dose it mean <Grigory> sory for englis i am serb <DanF_DrC> np. you found a cheeseburger? :) <Grigory> yah in park <Grigory> wher lite fel <DanF_DrC> did it have wrapping paper? was it warm? <Grigory> yes it had biet take ot <Grigory> was wram, yes <DanF_DrC> still warm? <DanF_DrC> no paper? <Grigory> papr on ground nearbye <DanF_DrC> ok. it's possible that a person came by and saw the green light and got scared and ran <Grigory> o <DanF_DrC> how far away from you was the green light? <Grigory> wat if alen got hungri? <Grigory> hm <Grigory> i say, bout ';50 metres <DanF_DrC> how big was it? <Grigory> maybi 500 sozyci <Grigory> or amamrican mesure? <Grigory> wat, is ekal? <DanF_DrC> you don't user meters in serbia? <Grigory> for big, we us sozyci <DanF_DrC> tell me in meters please <Grigory> 50 sozyci, maybi size of house <Grigory> so is very big <DanF_DrC> ok maybe 10-15 meters? <DanF_DrC> like a bus? <Grigory> no, much big <Grigory> size of hotl <Grigory> at lest from distinc <DanF_DrC> didn't you say it was 50 meters from you? <Grigory> no <Grigory> 500 <DanF_DrC> ok <DanF_DrC> what shape did it have? <Grigory> kind of, oval <Grigory> blury <Grigory> from lite <DanF_DrC> did it shimmer? like on the road on a hot day <DanF_DrC> or was it calm <Grigory> shimer, yes <Grigory> flash, in out <Grigory> yes? * ED_P (*********) has joined ##ufo <DanF_DrC> no I meant more like a gas flame. you mean it pulsated? like the warp core in star trek? <ED_P> okay guys i finally found you <Grigory> star trek? <ED_P> i was looking for a good ufo channel <DanF_DrC> ED_P, shh <ED_P> but i have a huge problem <ED_P> i think i saw a ufo <Grigory> it go, flash in out like flame <Grigory> yes <ED_P> and i'm scared. i need confirmation. <DanF_DrC> ED_P, so did Grigory. please wait <ED_P> my name comes first in the alien alphabet <DanF_DrC> Grigory, did it have spots on it? <Grigory> no <Grigory> to far <Grigory> it make sound, lik angry albanan <Grigory> it go, grumbl <Grigory> yes? <Grigory> very, faint far of <Grigory> but i hear <DanF_DrC> nice <Grigory> nice? <DanF_DrC> what you saw was a ufo. if you are telling the truth <Grigory> i am, tell truth <Grigory> you are just lik other mens <Grigory> in amaricanm <DanF_DrC> I found two pictures. did it look like any of these two? <Grigory> they say, he is crazy <DanF_DrC> http://www.ldi5.com/i/ufo/nat/plasmoide2.jpg <Grigory> they poke me <Grigory> to take me away <DanF_DrC> http://www.newzeal.com/steve/remote/comunica/ComBudgetd.jpg <Grigory> from, home, family <Grigory> combudget <Grigory> is it <DanF_DrC> but green? <Grigory> yes <DanF_DrC> excellent <Grigory> wat is it meaning <DanF_DrC> hard to say but what you saw is quite rare. I would love to have seen it <DanF_DrC> was the shape very much like the combudget one? <Grigory> yes but no strip <Grigory> just green ... <DanF_DrC> Grigory, you live in USA now? <Grigory> yes <DanF_DrC> where did this happen? <Grigory> in, jew york <Grigory> new <DanF_DrC> hehe where? <Grigory> new york <Grigory> , is city yes <DanF_DrC> new york is a big place <DanF_DrC> where in new york <Grigory> in plac with big, tree <Grigory> man come to me, say giv me moneys <Grigory> he take moneys <Grigory> in place <Grigory> many bad, peoples <Grigory> in this <DanF_DrC> where in new york did you see the ufo Grigory? <Grigory> am not know, amrican name <Grigory> big place with, tree, dirt <Grigory> many peopl sleep <Grigory> in open space <DanF_DrC> you don't know any way to describe where you were? <DanF_DrC> was it on manhattan? <Grigory> big place, many smely, peopl ... <DanF_DrC> did you feel that it looked at you? <Grigory> yes, but no eyes <Grigory> more, like it noes of me <Grigory> it noes what, i think <DanF_DrC> did it speak to you? <Grigory> no, it think words <DanF_DrC> what words? <DanF_DrC> what did it say <Grigory> it say, grigory, we come for you we noes wat u do, we come from albana to get you <DanF_DrC> really? <Grigory> yes <DanF_DrC> amazing :) <Grigory> they follow <Grigory> me, from serb <Grigory> i am not wanting to tell <DanF_DrC> have you seen it in serbia? <Grigory> is, mak crazy <Grigory> but am not <Grigory> yes, serbya <DanF_DrC> I believe you. don't worry about how it sounds <Grigory> they say, he crazy serb stay away <DanF_DrC> you have seen it before? <Grigory> no <Grigory> am confuse <Grigory> sory <Grigory> what is, say <DanF_DrC> no problem <DanF_DrC> what are you confused about? <Grigory> words <DanF_DrC> ok <Grigory> am understand now <Grigory> so wat aliyen <Grigory> is <Grigory> do, albana hav such teknologyes ... <Grigory> you see, is not just serb kill <Grigory> albanan kill <Grigory> kosovo was serb before, albanan come in <DanF_DrC> yes. like israel <Grigory> israel, is bad <Grigory> jew, kill all <Grigory> hate all <Grigory> yes? <DanF_DrC> yes they could do better <DanF_DrC> not nice to the palestinians <DanF_DrC> silly jews <Grigory> peoples, always am say, oh jew is suffer, take pity on <Grigory> but israel, is very rich <DanF_DrC> I don't think they are very rich. they do ok but not rich <DanF_DrC> compared to the palestinians perhaps <Grigory> is rich, compare to serbya <DanF_DrC> perhaps <Grigory> denmark, is rich too yes <DanF_DrC> well we do ok <DanF_DrC> we have food and peace :) <DanF_DrC> although we have troops in iraq :( <Grigory> ah, iraq <Grigory> usa, in iraq for jew <DanF_DrC> because of our foolish primeminister <Grigory> to protect jew <DanF_DrC> yes probably <Grigory> from sadam husin <Grigory> http://www.kosovo.net/news/archive/2006/November_10/3.html <Grigory> see, is much violent <DanF_DrC> about your ufo experience, I think you should write down everything you can remember about it. many pages <Grigory> yes? <Grigory> write, in book <Grigory> in serbyan? <Grigory> or anglo <Grigory> helo? <DanF_DrC> in your own languge so you don't forget. then you can read it later <Grigory> yes, serb <Grigory> you speak danyan? <DanF_DrC> danish <Grigory> o <Grigory> so, wat is aliyen look like <DanF_DrC> I think they can look like anything they want <DanF_DrC> often they appear as small thin grey people with big black eyes <DanF_DrC> sometimes tall. sometimes looks like us <Grigory> do they hav big black beard <Grigory> dark skin <Grigory> moslem fez <Grigory> yes? <DanF_DrC> hehe never heard of any like that <DanF_DrC> only some that look like white people <DanF_DrC> they are call the nordic type <DanF_DrC> because they are white with blond hair <Grigory> waht about albanan type <DanF_DrC> never <Grigory> jew type? <DanF_DrC> no <Grigory> wat is my aliyen look like <Grigory> is he serb? <DanF_DrC> It's possible. I think they can look like what they want and it's mostly illusions but I've never heard of any with dark skin <Grigory> come to help me <Grigory> from albanan? <DanF_DrC> hehe no I don't think so <Grigory> he does not help? <Grigory> but he is good you am say <DanF_DrC> well noone knows what they really want <DanF_DrC> I think they are good overall <DanF_DrC> they help us grow perhaps <DanF_DrC> some are very nice. some do what looks like medical tests on us <DanF_DrC> perhaps they teach us about ourselves <DanF_DrC> you know? <DanF_DrC> you understand <DanF_DrC> you saw something that made you think... <DanF_DrC> you learn <DanF_DrC> you grow
