Ulillillia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Contents |
[edit] Ulillillia City
As well as having one of the hardest to read nicknames ever, he also has a web page with more shit on it about nothing than you can believe. Google web crawlers get lost in here. Page after page after page of blue on black text detailing his neurosis, mathematical habits and hobbies, dreams and daydreams, and the games he plays while he's dreaming or daydreaming. The entire site is a long slow burn of lulz for the refined Internet gentleman, who enjoys the more sublime nature of Autism on the web. He provides a stunning contrast to his brother-in-addled-mind, Chris-Chan. Where Chris screams and drops his pants at a moment's notice, Ulillillia prefers to drink cans of Light Lemonade in precisely fifteen seconds and obsessively press the A, Up, Down, A, A buttons at every frame of Sonic and Knuckles.
[edit] Fears
One of the best pages on his site enumerates his list of fears. One of the most interesting aspects of Ulillillia's character is the fact that he realizes his fears are unfounded. He does not try to justify or rationalize them; he knows they have no basis in reality. Highlights include:
- Mirrors - Origin unknown, even to Ulillillia. His fear of mirrors has caused many problems for him, not the least of which was an incident in July of 2008, involving his parents and a then-recently installed bathroom mirror.
- "#12 Bathroom troubles - parents + mirror: Years ago, the main bathroom was rebuilt. It was in great need of it - the floor was weak and you could almost fall through it, especially in the areas near the toilet. As kids, me and my sister occasionally and deliberately flooded the bathroom. Then, around 6 years ago or so, my parents rebuilt the bathroom, including the floor. They rearranged everything. They got this one big mirror and placed it so that it was directly in front of the toilet. I warned them not to put it there, but they refused. I knew that later on down the road, arguments about it would occur and I'd keep saying "unblock it first" when they tell me to use it instead of the master bedroom's bathroom. This continued on for years, but usually only two to four incidents per year and nothing major. Then, along came July for 2008.
- I got into a heated argument over it, the worst of all that I can recall. These actually continued for 2 or 3 days, longer than ever before. I began using my tricks to sort of "sneak it in" and this went for only 2 days. As I frequently had in my mind drifts (not my mind game), I often stated of the parents having three options. The first was to simply get rid of the mirror. It'd be the easiest and most trouble-free. The second would be to move it, as a recommended. The third would be to do nothing but let me use the then-current bathroom I was using. After getting into trouble over this, I, literally, avoided going to the bathroom. I drank a lot less than usual and I ate a lot less. At one point during the argument, I had thoughts of actually busting the mirror and I've busted many before that have blocked access to important areas (including the phone). The parents put curtains over it as an attempt, but that's nowhere near good enough."
- Ketchup and mustard bottles - This is because they remind him of the dangerous lava found in Metroid.
- Stairs - Ulillillia does not walk up stairs, instead he scales them, as if they are an insurmountable hill. This also involves a catapult-like use of his backpack, which might provide him with inertia. Allegedly, he has no trouble going down stairs, and no trouble with stairs period in his Mind Game.
- Chairs - His fear of chairs is particular, as booths and couches are considered acceptable. His fear of chairs is a x6 + 5 Inhibitor of a Getting a Job. Doing the mundane and repetitive office work that would best suit his personality is an impossibility, because he couldn't sit up in one of their chairs. His suggestion for businesses who may be looking to hire him is to move the set-up to the floor.
- Sun-lit ground - Also lava, also Metroid.
- Blue Water - Once again, originates in video games. Touching blue water in most 2D Platformers of his favored era meant instant death. Due to this, he believed that if he touched or stepped in any water from a swimming pool, puddle, lake, or any sort of outdoor source of water; he would die. Showers are "white water", but that doesn't change the fact that he has a Motive of -30 when it comes to taking them.
- "Person" and "People" - Ulillillia has a chronic fear of these two words. The origins of this extraordinarily ridiculous fear are unknown. In school, he would often be given questions that contained these words. When presented with them, he would scribble over the words with his pencil until they were completely hidden from view by pencil markings.
[edit] Mind Game
He plays a goddamn video game in his head all the time, and will periodically trance out to do so (stated as one of many reasons he doesn't have a drivers license). The game basically consists of flying around on mountains or some shit. He has painstakingly laid out the details for us all, including some animations with STRONG 3D GRAPHICS. He has actually written a program that is supposed to give us all "a taste" of what his mind game is like, and it is on there too god help us.
[edit] Showers are Rare
Another long list of personal problems. In it he cites among other things his detailed reasons for rarely showering. His lack-of-desire to shower is a real Ouroboros, as he states that his Motive for showering would go up exponentially if he had somewhere to go, but he is unable to get a job in part due to his unwillingness to shower.
[edit] Early Development
Ulillillia finds he has some trouble remembering certain things about his childhood. Usually, his Mind Game will jog his memory, and remind him of formerly forgotten aspects of his life.
[edit] elementary school blues
- Young Ulillillia was told to "drop it" everytime he brought up blue water, and the inherent dangers thereof, on his school bus.
- He did not enjoy his school's lunchtime rule that the children eat three different things, and in protest would only eat eight (8) cubic centimeters of food-- exact measurements taken with ruler. Even as a young child, he was precise in his neurosis.
- By the end of 3rd Grade, he estimates that one in every thirty students was a bully to him. In 5th grade, this number increased to one in sixteen students, bringing his Exact Bully Total to 30. His compatibility with this was -450.
[edit] middle school, junior high
- In 6th grade, Ulillillia begins taking 'special' classes. He notes that the desks were quite strange; you opened them by lifting the top, much like "the lid covering the scanner of a copying machine". The carpets for this room were of 80 brightness, on average.
- There was a points system in place for good behavior; Ulillillia enjoyed this, and the sodas that his sweet disposition garnered.
- Although he rarely found himself in the "Time-Out" room, he did enjoy spending the moments he spent in there, playing his favorite game: Hit-A-Bump. Hit-A-Bump, of course, involved throwing things -such as flash cards- short distances.
- He once spent upwards of two hours in the room for refusing to eat the pudding the school provided for him. The spoon was incorrect.
- In 7th grade, he was able to chose whether or not he'd eat. He often chose not to do so at all, as the food options were not always degreased cheese pizzas or Hamburger Helper WITHOUT the hamburger.
- The weight-lifting room was located beyond a labyrinth of mirrors, rendering him incapable of entrance.
- Related: Ulillillia weighs 145 pounds.
- 7th grade he begins to walk up stairs in his unique fashion. Prior to this year, he was able to walk up stairs as one normally would.
- In 8th grade, he discovers that Granite is one of his favorite substances.
- By the end of middle school, he calculates that his bully count is now over 50.
[edit] high school big shot
- In high school, he discovers his "charge" technique, which in football helps him run at a maximum of 15 MPH.
- After a Freshman year full of misery and strife because of bullies and mirrors and mirror-bullies, he transfers to an entirely different special school.
- This special school also ends in failure, so he begins to have his homework mailed to his home. This also does not work.
- Eventually, he is allowed to be taught one-on-one, during after school hours. We are left to wonder how his parents managed to pull this off.
- He graduates.
[edit] big time post-graduate celebration
- "When it comes to high school graduation, one would normally think of a fancy prom or party. I'm not exactly sure what a prom is, but have heard about them, seemingly for college. I was unlucky. I never had a graduation party, even though I did get my high school diploma. The teachers were thinking about it, it just never seemed to have happened. Oddly enough, my sister did. I've had nothing but failed parties so far (even birthday parties), the high school graduation party is one of those failed parties."
- He doesn't know what prom is.
- They're all gonna laugh at you, Ulillillia!
[edit] Youtube Channel
Ulillillia maintains a Youtube channel, dedicated mostly to videos of him exploiting glitches and discovering bugs in video games that no one remembers. The most prolific of these 273 videos is his overview of the glitches found in Bubsy 3D. He's played this particular game for 500 hours, he estimates. Do not challenge him on his Bubsy expertise, for you will certainly be proven wrong.
its 243 paw points...what difference does it make :__(
In addition to bug and glitch videos, he has a series on how he processes his music. His music being various instrumental video game themes, sped up or slowed down to his pleasure.
these playcounts are not edited
Recently (as of October 23rd, 2008), Ulillillia has added a series of videos documenting his trip to Minneapolis. Mostly it is about the average freeway travel one may experience in the United States, but there also is a very rare clip of Ulillillia himself, silently wading into some sort of nuclear wasteland landscape. Very eerie footage, and could in fact be at home as an interstitial at some arthouse installation.
When I went there, it had visibility measuring in inches, about 8, and appeared brown up close
Ulillillia will delete any comments that use bad language, or are otherwise offensive. However, he will respond to almost all comments that he considers appropriate. That is not a call for trolls to dick with Ulillillia; please do not trample this gentle flower, allow him to blossom.
[edit] Imaginary Friends
Ulillillia had some vaguely humanoid imaginary friends growing up, all of which had special powers. His three main besties were:
You can read about the rest of the gang here.
[edit] Interests Outside of Video Games
Not applicable. Compatibility with activities unrelated to video games is -150, 0 at best.
[edit] See Also
 Ulillillia is part of a series on Dying Alone | Those Who Have Died Alone
Anna Nicole Smith | Arielle Newman | Charmaine Dragun | Codey Porter | Heath Ledger | Lilo | Megan Meier | Mitchell Henderson | Otoya Yamaguchi | Ricardo Lopez | Ripper | Rudolph Zurick | Tyler Dumstorf Those Dying Alone Ahotwheelscar | Anonymous Borg | Argent009 | Bikerfox | ByAppointmentTo | Chris-chan | Chuck M. | David Hockey | Epic fat guy | Fagolescents | GoddessMillenia | Kevin Havens | Lecarick | Nullcherri | Pit Viper | Ricki Raven | Sceptre | Snapesnogger | TheSockDetective | Ulillillia Their Methods 4chan | AIDS | Anime | Booze | Bullying | Dead Friend | DeviantART | Drugs | Fleshlight | Self-seclusion | IRC | Jenkem | LiveJournal | Lonely | MySpace | Online dating | Online sex games | Plastic Crap | Plenty Of Fish | Vloggerheads | YouTube |
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