Uri Geller
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Uri Geller is a [never] has-been stage psychic with epic amounts of unwarrented self-importance, whose only current form of amassing Jew golds is through his ridiculous lawsuits. He also is at war with YouTube (and any other form of communication through which people can express disbelief in his omg REAL psychic abilities). Based on his track record, it is only a matter of time before he sues Encyclopedia Dramatica for even mentioning him. Born in Latvia to a Gypsy whore, he grew up on many sites throught Europe, touched by every pikey man untill all he could do is Bend spoons to take away the pain. But all he did is transfer the pain of his repeated carine on carnie rape to us the normal non-caravan living non-pikey folks.
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[edit] His Powers
Uri Geller's [total cunts'] story is that, when he was a wee little gypsy fuck in Israel, he encountered a strange glowing orb in his family's garden. After that, all the silverware in the house bent at his touch (once he did a little prep work offstage). Geller also claims to be able to stop time, see through clothes, and divide by zero.
[edit] Lawsuits
Uri Geller has copyrighted psychic powers in general, bending spoons with the mind, bending anything by any means, ordinary spoons, the name Uri Geller, and anything sounding vaguely similar to Uri or Geller in any language. He will sue anyone who violates these copyrights, without hesitation.
Geller tried to sue Nintendo, claiming that the psychic Pokémon Kadabra is based on his likeness. He first become aware of this infringement while visiting Japan. A bunch of kids purportedly mobbed him, asking him to autograph their Pokémon cards (because Japanese kids know this guy on sight and totally want his autograph). Geller questioned some Wapanese Pokéfags about Kadabra, and was shocked to discover its Japanese name, Yungeraa, is pronounced "UriGellerIsEvil." He also freaked out over Kadabra's spoon, and the obviously Nazi S.S. symbol written on Kadabra's pelvis.
| —Uri Geller |
In addition, Geller has tried to sue IKEA for their Uri line of bent-legged furniture, and Timex, because they make watches advertised as resisting psychic influences (srsly).
[edit] YouTube
Uri Geller also has a record of suing people who try to reveal he's not a real psychic. He's even gotten videos pulled from YouTube, despite this being a misuse of DMCA. He merely appears in the videos; the YouTube videos themselves are ripping off unrelated parties. Geller's attempts to remove videos that he does not own are actually copyright violations on his part (lol, irony). It is also an affront to free speech, blah blah blah, other serious business. With this new ammunition against Geller, militant disbelievers will finally succeed in having this fraud drawn and quartered once and for all.
[This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Uri Geller]
Epic Fail on the Tonight Show
[edit] Reality TV Show
Uri Geller also has his own Israeli reality TV show, "The Successor", which has been picked up by NBC and will be aired in the United States as "Phenomenon." Geller considers the export of this television show to be Israel's greatest contribution to the world, completely discounting AOL Instant Messenger, the cellphone, and Windows NT, which were also invented in Israel.
| —Uri Geller, talking in the third person like an ass |
The aim of the show is not to find someone with psychic powers, but to find someone who has an act. In other words, someone who is just like Uri Geller.
