User:Bishop
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
User Bishop is the toughest guy on the Internets.
[edit] History
Born into a life of privilege, Bishop's world was shattered when Jack Napier murdered his parents in front of him. Heartbroken and disillusioned with a world so cruel, Bishop began a dark journey into the criminal underbelly of civilisation, eventually ending up in a Chinese prison. During this time, Bishop was contacted by Chester Bennington of Linkin Park, who recognised his obvious talents and aimed to recruit him into the Brotherhood of the Shadows. Bishop accepted and travelled to a monastry high in the mountains to begin his training.
Bishop's hard and dangerous training paid off when one day he reached enlightenment and transformed into a shark with lasers on its forehead, the only thing in the universe stronger than a dinosaur. He instantly donned a jetpack and easily defeated a crocodile with wings and knives on its hands. His training now complete, Bishop parted company with Linkin Park and Chester due to artistic differences over the correct way to swear to always be friends. Bishop then jetpacked to London where he began working for British Military Intelligence Directorate - Section Five, almost catching Osama bin Laden on his first day. Soon after he married a supermodel and toppled Saddam Hussein after powering up for only six episodes.
[edit] Shock, Horror
Bishop's now perfect world was rocked in November of 2005 when he stumbled across Encyclopedia Dramatica and read the low and disgusting character assassination of his old brothers in arms, Chester and Linkin Park. Appalled and offended by this dispicable act, Bishop made his anger known with this articulate example of awesomness:
Whomever it is that designed this disgusting, detrimental ailment to society is in the opinion of the real world, a complete and utter idiot with some severe mental issues that seriously need to be attended to. It is people like you that hold society back. How fucking dare you degrade some of the worlds most respected, talented and esteemed performers.
You simply are a bunch of callus, unhappy people, most likely unemployed and uneducated living in your parents basement that despise the fact that these performers have incredible skills that you couldn’t even dream of possessing. I work for a governmental security agency, so don’t even think of fucking with me son or I’ll rip your fucking balls right out and feed them to you through a straw. I demand this site to be taken down within one week or I’ll have it done myself, force me to do that and I’ll really get pissed off.
This is my only warning.
Craig Marshall British Military Intelligence Directorate - Section Five
Reeling under the hideous weight of the sudden realisation that they had offended the world's greatest shark with lasers on its forehead, Encyclopedia Dramatica's sysops were in a state of paralyzing dismay. Only Killhamster remained cool, and he immediately banned Bishop from the site in a vain effort to avoid destruction. It did little good though as Bishop, enraged at having his power defied, pwned all past, present and future readers, editors and sysops at ED by shouting at the mirror for two hours before overdosing on cough medicine.
[edit] Hobbies
- Shouting at the mirror.
- Overdosing on cough medicine.
- Paranoid and delusional masturbation fantasies.
| Note: this user is a known ED vandal.
Latest page vandalized: Shit band You can help by reverting everything. |
| Warning! |  | This contributor is a cunt. You can help by murdering his or her parents. It's a little late now, sure, but it's the thought that counts. Right? |
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| Warning! |  | This contributor is a chronic masturbator. You can help by contradicting everything. Please remove this notice after revisions. |
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