User:Chunkmunky/Nigras
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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| Offended? Possibly, you are offended by the content of this page. If so, please click here, and scroll to the bottom. |
Nigger (often "nigga"), not to be confused with Nigra, is a term of endearment for black people originally brought to America to do hard labor, and find a market for the watermelon (a vegetable posing as a fruit that normal people would never eat). All niggas spend their days eating fried chicken getting drunk on Colt 45, Olde English, or any other cheap ass Malt Liquor, smoking menthol cigarettes, weed and/or crack cocaine, followed by dog fighting, spittin' beats, and raping white wiminz. All the stereotypes are true. That kid who stole your bike when you were 12? A nigra. Because of the prevalence of violence in black society, 9 out of 10 blacks will be gunned down before the age of three.
[edit] Slavery
Soon after arriving in America, the niggas discovered that slavery really sucked. Niggas were just far too lazy a people to specialize in manual labor. Utilizing their superior numbers, the negroes defeated the inbred hicks of the Confederate States of America, which in retrospect really wasn't that much of an accomplishment. There was talk amongst the niggas about returning to Africa, but that would actually take some effort, so nothing ever came of it.
[edit] The Nigga Civil Rights Movement
After slavery in America, there was still racism. For instance, there were public pools that nigras weren't allowed in. First, nigras like MLK tried passive non-violence, but they were just thrown out of the pool by racist mods who falsely accused them of blocking. So Malcolm X organized nigras into groups like The Black Panthers and then they went and blocked the pool. This worked better, but the racist mods still kept throwing them out and banning them.
Finally, nigras got together in mass, called for /b/lackup, and did a million man march. After satellite imagery proved there were only 720,410 nigras who participated in the march, Congress passed a law punishing the nigras for being uppity, by banning them from all Denny's restaurants in the US.
[edit] The Term and its Meaning
"Nigger" is historically a pejorative term, especially in North America, where it is used as a jocular colloquialism for any person with dark skin. This meaning is still invoked by American blacks who haven't gotten over their victim complex and by American whites (often college professors) who bear it as part of the vast weight of postmodern liberal guilt.
[edit] OTI
The pejorative meaning of the word obviously does not apply to internet conversations because — despite Mr. T's assertions to the contrary on behalf of WoW — it is common knowledge that there are no black people on the internet. Whether this is due to the fact that there typically aren't internet connections in cotton fields or that computers are beyond the average ape, this simple statement has given internet savvy races free reign over treatment of blacks on the tubes (hence, the existence of this article). Their absence, and thus their inability to defend themselves, has made them the center of countless memes, image macros, and hilarious videos.
Certain political or social groups revel in that circumstance and create tons of laughably poor-quality web sites where they carry on crazy-assed one-sided conversations about the evils of niggerdom.
[edit] Ask
How come there are never any black goths? Only white?
[edit] Natural Enemies
The natural predator of the Nigga is the Klansman. Klanfags are products of severe inbreeding, and are significantly lacking in intelligence and common sense to an almost fatal level. They listen to music that is offensive to the ears, drink alcoholic concoctions that differ very little from urine, and practice poor hygene almost as an art form.
Niggers fear the KKK not just because they will kill them, the rednecks are also capable of getting away with it until they're too old to get convicted. All too often, someone just plum forgot to investigate.
Niggers also have a longstanding rivalry with marine mammals, especially dolphins. Some niggers have fought off hordes of dolphins with tek-9s and mac-10s but in the end, the superior species usually winds up victorious. Dolphins and other marine mammals have a +5 attack bonus against negroes. Nigras, however, only get +2 for marine mammals.
[edit] Surviving a Nigger Attack
- First of all, if they are trying to invade your pool, give up now. You're fucked. So is the pool.
- If you see a nigga, utilize the standard Nigger Apology.
- If this is ineffective and he begins speaking in retarded, low-pitched ebonics, talk to him in soothing tones about things he is familiar with, such as chicken, rap music and bling. Don't talk too soothingly though, or he may think you are trying to be all gay on him. Nigras are known for being very sensitive about their "manhood".
- Continue to talk and slowly back away. If you run he will chase you. if you've seen an NBA game then you know that niggers can run and jump extremely fast.
- Whatever you do, DON'T climb a tree. Negro tree-climbing instincts were honed to a razor edge deep in the jungles of Africa.
- Also, if the nigger lunges at you, try to jump into some water. Despite their pool stealing prowess, nigras are horrible swimmers.
[edit] Frequently Asked Questions About Black People
These questions are provided courtesy of Dr. Richard C Mongler, head Groidologist of the New Hampshire Paranormal Research Institute. He is at the front of an anti-conspiracy movement that has recently been sweeping the blue states.
Q: Is it okay to call Black people "nigger" or "nigga"?
It sure is! Just as long as you pretend to be cool and be "down" with their culture, dawg! Watch some BET movies and music videos, listen to a few rap tracks and buy some Phat Farm clothing. You'll be so black in no time that they won't mind if you do something that they do 3 times in one sentence.
Q: Do Black People really wear "bling" and make Hip Hop and such?
The media has made a big deal about Black Culture within the last 15 years, but a lot of what you see on TV is very exaggerated. Some of these are based in real facts: they are attracted to shiny objects, and they do enjoy a thumping repetitive bass beat, which may remind them of mating.
Q: I saw someone who seemed like a Black Person, but their skin was white! What gives??
What you saw is called a wigger. With all of the media attention Black People have been receiving, a lot of white folk have tried to adopt the looks and behaviors of their Black cousins. However, there's a chance that what you were looking at was the race traitor Michael Jackson, who has not only abandoned his own kind, but has also been expelled by the NAACP for being a pedophile.
Q: Why do white women love nigger dick?
Here's a clue: they don't really love nigger dick because it's big and thick and long. Most niggers with dicks longer than 7" can't maintain an erection very long before they pass out from the displacement of blood. Much of this is due to excessive cholesterol levels caused by eating all that fried chicken
No, the real reason white women fuck around with niggers is to piss off their fathers and/or their ex-boyfriends/husbands. This is usually a retaliation for some slight, such as daddy grounding their daughter because she got caught smoking pot with her girlfriends, or hubby beating the shit out of the wife because she didn't bring him a beer quick enough.
Q: Are senator Barack Obama, pornstars Cricket and Shonna Lynn, golfer Tiger Woods, washed-up singer Paula Abdul, washed-up actress Rae Dawn Chong and that guy from Fine Young Cannibals niggers?
Who knows? However, in the case of Paula, I think most niggers agree that she's probably white just because white folks deserve to have a bimbo like her part of their race. This is probably punishment for whites giving Oprah Winfrey a career by watching her lameass show and buying her retarded Book of the Month Club "selections".
Q: What the Hell is Kwanzaa?
Kwanzaa is ebonics for Christmas and Hanukkah rolled into one, only shitty. It was invented by Dr. Maulana Karenga to get revenge on whitey, the fake holiday to keep niggers from spending their welfare money during the X-mas season, and making white folks and Jews rich. Kwanzaa is also celebrated immediately after Christmas and Hanukkah, otherwise every nigga would ignore it even more than whitey does.
[edit] Negro Fun Facts!
- If your white, you owe us black people "respirations". Now gimme dem sneakas, bitch!
- Negroes are weirdly attracted to the colour teal. Check it out: menthol cigarette packages are teal, black strippers use teal panties, and most new pro sports franchises pick teal as one of their team colors in order to attract sports-obsessed Negroes.
- Niggers are close relatives of Sparkling wiggles
- The reason why so much good stuff comes from China and Japan is because these countries have no niggaz. Would you buy a computer made in Africa?
- Niggers must steal at least one bike a day to stay alive.
[edit] Famous Niggaz
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
- Malcolm X
- Rosa Parks
- Jesse Jackson
- Al Sharpton
- Barack Obama
Condoleeza Ricedisowned- Rick James, Beeyotch!
- James Brown
- Bob Marley
- Tay "Chocolate Rain" Zonday
- Flava Flav
- $.50
- Will Smith
- Oprah
- Samuel L. Jackson
- King Kong
- Bill Cosby
- Muhammad Ali
- OJ Simpson
- Ron Mexico
- Mr. T
- John Shaft
- Kunta Kinte
- Li'l Black Sambo
- Bix nood
- Happy Negro
- Uncle Ben
- Aunt Jemima
[edit] Videos
Footage Of A Nigger In Its Natural Environment
A Day In The Life
Nigger Anatomy
[edit] A Message to Whitey
| —Some guy who doesn't know how to spell "lawyer". |
[edit] Ooo Lawdy, I gots me uh Galleree
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[edit] See also
- 419 Scams
- Bazooka
- Bix Nood
- Fresh Prince
- Ghetto
- Happy Negro
- Nigga Know Technology
- Nigger Manual
- Niggerpig
- Niggertits
- Nigra
- NO NIGGERS
- Wigger
- Wrong Location Nigger
[edit] External Links
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Chunkmunky/Nigras is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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