User:DocLithius

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Looking for my junk? It's over here.

Terror Threat Level

[edit] Things You Should Know About Me

Rumor has it that this is what I look like, but IT'S A LIES!!

• My real name is "Joseph Collins".
• I'm a Wikipedia user.
• I can type very well and will always use proper spelling and formatting when necessary.
  • ...sometimes even when it's not necessary.
    • On that same note: Bold is for emphasis! Italics is for emphasis and/or streeeeechiiiiing ooooout worrrrrds.
• Chances are, if I've contributed to your article here on Encyclopedia Dramatica, it's not out of spite, hatred, or anything other than pure humorous intent. In short, don't take your article and the people behind it too seriously. Most of us are here to have fun. (Though if we happen to cause trouble that leads to more humor, so be it.)

[edit] Things You Shouldn't Know About Me

I so totally look just like this. But with less gun-in-my-hand.

• Psyguy sucks. I hate him. I also want to fuck him up the ass, but in a good way. Doesn't everyone who hates him want to do that? ...no? ...oh. Okay.
  • I'm also one of Psy's many former gay lovers.
• I am a furry.
  • While I could just as easily say "I'm not a furry. I just enjoy the art, cartooniness, and the unique aspects of anthropomorphic animals because humans are really boring," but hey... If Ask Dr. Science says I'm a furry by their definition, then by God, I'm a fucking furry! Or something. It's a damned vauge term to begin with.
• I have Disassociate Identity Disorder. So does Jessica and so does Clarice. Kris we're not so sure about.
  • Kris is back, actually, but she won't have sex with me.  :(
  • I have sex with the other personalities sometimes. They also have sex with each other. Except for Kris. She's such a fucking prude. Stupid anti-whore bitch.  :(
  • Jessica is a Lulbat.
• I am emo.  ;(
• My ass itches.
• I used to use Second Life. Then I died. The end!
• I am ritualistically harrassed by the people of munkki.org every so often. (Usually when I draw attention to myself.) In fact, joining this place might just cause yet another relapse. Expect an influx of schmucks shortly after this page goes up.
  • This makes me a Lol-cow, apparently.
• I play World of Warcraft.
• I'm better than you at games no one gives a rat's ass about.
• I hate everyone and everything.

The furry fag dancing homosexually with his gay robot lover, Dukakuuopuasuu K-Y.

• I am a sprite artist.
• I am a pedophile.
  • I am also a pedophile for certain anime and video game characters.
    • LittleCloud can verify this fact.
• I suck.
• I think deviantART sucks, but there's some great artists on it.
• I wank it to furry porn as well as humanesque cartoon porn. But mostly furry porn.
• I get girlfriends, use them for cyber sex, then dump them after I get bored with them.
  • A few of them are also underaged.
• I talk too much.
• I like Jean-Michel Jarre and Jimmy Buffet.
• BUUUUUTTSEEEEECKS.
• I have my own video game review series on YouTube.
• I want a van.
• I am a LiveJournal user.

LOLRUS LOVE FROM DOC JESSICA LAWL ROFLMAO

• • But then, who isn't?
    • Apparently, Psyguy isn't.  :3
  • My LiveJournal, according to The LiveJournal Mood Ring, is "Angry". To quote: "If you're not careful some delicate part of your circulatory system is going to explode. Take up yoga or something. You're probably making people nervous."
• DO NOT WANT!
• My penis is roughly the size of a roll of quarters when erect.
• I like Castlevania. Psycho Mantis knows this, apparently.
• I am a big, fat geek.
  • When I let my hair grow out, people tell me I look like Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.
    • Though in my defense, some kid once asked me "Are you a girrrrrl??" I promptly sodomized him. I think he enjoyed it.  :3
• I am an internet celebrity, but only because I suck so bad. Just ask anyone!  :D
• I am a Photobucket user.
• I am a floating gas bag.
• I cut myself while watching M*A*S*H(the movie version). Why? Out of boredom.
• I freaking love harlequins. No, not this thing. I mean ladies in skin-tight, two-to-three-color outfits(usually white, black, and red); "French clowns," as it were. Like Harley Quinn.

LittleCloud doesn't return my love.  :(

• • This includes(but is not limited to) furries and the sort in harlequin outfits.
• Psyguy recently reported me to deviantART admins for me bitching at him over driving one of my best friends ever off the Internet. He told me "You're obviously blind and bias". I take great offense to that! I'm totally not blind! That's what I wear glasses for! D:
  • And that's totally what I told him, too.
• If it wasn't obvious, I don't care what anyone thinks about me.
  • Unless it's somebody on the Internet. That makes me cry myself to sleep. T_T
• I'm not gay, but my BOYFRIEND is.
  • I dumped my BOYFRIEND because he was an liar and made me emo. More-so, I mean.  :(
• Doc Jessica (not related to my lulbat above) loves me. Daww... <3 I LURVE YOU, TOO!
  • I let my Jessica lulbat name herself "Jessica" because of my love for Doc Jessica. Or maybe my Jessica wants that Jessica as bad as I Jessica! ...do. ... ...do Jessica. Tee hee.
• I find LittleCloud highly attractive.
  • But she doesn't feel the same way about me.  :(
• I have proof that the Internet turns people stupid.
• I'm a god damned fucking furry with a fetish for underaged girls and Macaulay Culkin. But you probably figured that out already.
  • Bearing this in mind, I'm also eDating a young girl who sends me nude pix because I WILL IT.
    • She dumped me 'cause she's totally awesome and I didn't agree with everything she said.
• Christoph Naumova had me assrape him over the phone for about half a year because I was young and naive.  ;(
• TRUTH TIME! I'm actually a sockpuppet for/of LittleCloud. Don't tell anyone! Plz?  ;_;

• This is all true.