User:HedgeJew
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
 This user is a recent changes patrolfag. You can help by telling him to get a life.
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| This user is a member of the You can help by adhering to their every whim and desire and learning your place you dirty Jew. | 
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| WATCH OUT! HedgeJew is a very pretentious and talented artist that no one will understand! You can help by mocking their furry art, and then uploading over it. BE WARNED! Their art may make you go blind. |
| This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
User:HedgeJew is perhaps the worst fellow ever to wade around the Internets. He is as follows:
- deviantTartlet - With nearly 60,000 pageviews, and such shitty art too. WTF.
EDIT: Has decided to stop posting shit on that fail site, but continues to lurk there in case of lulz.DISREGARD THAT, HE WENT BACK, THE ATTENTION WHORE.HAHAHA HE FLED DUE TO COPYPASTA LOL HE CAN'T TAKE IT.
- Sonic fantard - Has a bunch of shitty fancharacters, including Tahra, a goth Mary-Sue who has the hots for Sonic and teh ghey for Amy, making her a pedo too. He has made it clear that Tahra x Amy is OMG KAWAII DESU NE and he is constantly seeking for someone to give him Rule 34 of those two. He has yet to recieve it.
- Jew - He did WTC. Need anymore be said? Do not, under any circumstances, give him your Jew golds.
- Fanfic writer - Most of his fanfics are tl;dr, which hides the fact that they suck. As far as fanfics go, they're actually well-done, even in the top 10%. But everyone knows fanfics are the lowest form of literature, amirite?
- Aspie - This means you can't say anything bad about him, because then he'll go BAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!!!1!!!1eleventy and go to emo on his dA journal.
- Wannabe Channer - Uses and abuses so many memes that they become unfunny. He still thinks that Over 9000 is funny. Will probably be the one to make TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL old meme.
It seems that on the scale of fail from 0-10, he is at least 100.
However, the light of lulz has made him try to be less of a fag and more win. Too bad he's too much of a nice guy to do any trolling of his own.
Contents |
[edit] LOL FANFICZ
The only thing that makes HedgeJew's e-penis HUEG LIEK XBOX is his tl;dr fanfics. While considered to be in the top 10% in fan-fic-dom, they are in fact, terrible. He rips off so many things that it's amazing that video game companies around the world have't rammed the lawlsuite stick into his rear end. But that hasn't stopped him from getting tons of cock-sucking fans.
END SELF-TROLLING HERE
[edit] The non self-trolling part
ED was first brought to my attention by an online friend of mine. At first I avoided this place, then I grew to like it. I lurked a lot, then finally decided to join. I've never looked back since.
This site really changed my outlook on life. I've learned to laugh more at myself (hence the self-trolling above), and I've lost some of my tolerance for stupidity. I'll admit though, some of the articles on here really lather on the cruelty. I still get a bit offended by articles on anything related to Jews and the Holocaust and the like, being Jewish myself. I just need to remember that it's satire. This also goes for the fact that I sometimes DO take some articles seriously.
The articles that are about memes and events and the like I find hilarious. This also goes for the ones that are about sick fucks and creeps like Chris Forcand, Urd-chan and Ohbutyouwillpet, or crazies like BitingBeaver, RHJunior and Chasethehedgehog. C'mon, those people DESERVED to be trolled. But those who I think aren't quite asking for it are, well, more cruel than lulzy.
I just hope the fine admins of ED continue to distinguish the lulzy documentation of drama from the butthurt attack articles, and wipe them off the face of the tubes.
Oh, and I HATE horizontal scrollbars. They make everything unreadable. I also lurk the Recent Changes page and abuse the {{baleetplz}} template on any crud I see.
[edit] Articles I have started/written
- What is a man?
- Castlevania
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Godzilla (started)LOL REDIRECT - TMI
[edit] Articles he has significantly contributed to
[edit] Thoughts On Chanology
I saw the screencaps of the call to arms, the documentation of the DDOS and the sudden change of plans toward IRL protests, and I have seen the glorious win from the IRL protests. And I must say, this is more epic than anything I've seen. At first, I had my doubts, especially during the initial phases, and wondered if Anonymous was biting off more than it could chew. But once I saw the results of the protests, I felt a great sense of privilege course through me.
I consider myself a moralfag, but one who is aware (at least to some degree) of Chanology's true purpose: to show that Anonymous is not simply confined to ruining crazy basement dwellers and hapless gooks: Anonymous is capable of tackling massive organizations with virtually unlimited disposable income. Scientology is crumbling and showing great desperation. If we can bring down this multi-million-dollar cult/scam, who knows what else the Legion is capable of? Though they may not know that the core of Anonymous consisted of sick fuck basement dwellers, it is the public, the mundanes...THEY are Anonymous' greatest ally in this fight. If Anonymous can get sufficient IRL public backing, there is no force they cannot defeat.
Anonymous, IMHO, must become more like the Internet Vigilantes that gave Chris Forcand a trip on the party v&, rather than an Internet Hate Machine that indiscriminately hacks Myspace accounts. Anonymous could do whatever it wanted because almost no one knew of its existence. But now people know. Therefore, Anonymous must exhibit great care about who it raids...and must evolve into an Internet (Great) Justice Machine.
To anti-moralfags, I say this: Lulz & hate, IMHO, are like broccoli & ketchup: some may find they go well together, but most people don't. Epic lulz & great justice, however, must exist at the same time: lulz is epic only when the justice is great.
(End tl;dr rant)
[edit] Sakurai's secret pr0n fic
Mmm... It feels nice and peaceful here. Hold on a second! What are you guys doing here?! If you think they're all going to be the same as they have been, it'll be rough for you. Trying to fight back is useless. Hey. Stop that... QUIT IT! I mean it! Samus has a problem. All of her armor fell off! What?! Is this... Could it be?! Look at her Power Suit shine! It’s time to rise up against this blatant provocation! You should really get a hold of this and just sink your teeth in. The more distant you are, the worse your connection becomes, and the slower it feels. Hang on a second. Do you see that thing dangling from Fox's waist? Surely he wouldn’t bring that thing out?! It's.. It's HUGE! It’s HUGE! He’s huge! Whoa, that’s huge! Whoa! He’s huge. It’s...big... This time it gets REALLY long! It's almost unthinkable! There are big ones and small ones. That weapon is extremely powerful. A solid hit from this delivers a mighty blow... but when it comes back, it also lightly pulls the foe's body. It really is a versatile piece of hardware. It's round, pink, and soft. And it is ethereal. Oh, yes. I-I… I want it! This expansion also increases your possible strategies, so fire away! If you see one of these, be absolutely sure to grab it. Basically, you hold it in your arms. Gotta heft this thing! Hurrrgh! Well, he certainly appears to be in good shape. Where are you sticking that thing? Is... Is it safe to eat that? It slowly turns around... Aim well and sally forth. The Wii is trying to connect in earnest! Look out below! He jumps on and starts racing! H-he has absolutely no problem fitting in! It's always hot to the touch. Hot! Hot! HOTTT! Whoa! That looks hot. Hot! Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-HOT! Hot! HOT! You can move forward and backward! He strikes repeatedly with lightning speed! Hee ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya ya! Hup! Hup! Hey! Ho! Not too shabby, eh? Want more? The tension rises. Yes. That feels gooood... It’s exciting and exhilarating. Mmm... That’s amazing. Bzzzzzzzzzzt! I can’t get enough of this. My heart’s aflutter. I like the feel of that powerful rumble. They... They're really flying! MAXIMUM CHARGE! Power up and unleash it when the time is right! You can pull out. When you hold it in as much as you can...?! There's no waiting! This is it. It's magnificent! And then comes the finishing strike! (Check your volume settings.) SKRAAAAH! Off it goes! Down it goes! Pit draws his bowstring taut... And fires! You've been blasted! He’s shooting something up in the air! His rocketbarrels are firing! They just keep flying out like crazy! Stay dry! It's taking heavy fire, huh? When you hit someone with it... It sticks to them! Get... GET IT OFF! Then it explodes! Oh, the horror! I'd avoid it at all costs, if I were you. This...can be dangerous. Pass it on! It may even get returned to sender... And then comes night. He thrusts his sword in the ground and crosses his arms. Soon, people are flying around like rockets. You can brawl til dawn! Practice on Sandbag while you wait... The pictures make it easy to understand. Whether you’re siblings or close friends, two can play together! Set Allow Spectators to Yes in your Wi-Fi Options. This will result in your play data occasionally being sent to Nintendo. Ahh... That really takes me back. Oh, to think it's already over... If you had to call it something, I'd say it's almost like a sport. If I had to describe it in a word, it’s "watching!" And rumor is, you can even save screenshots?! It's rumored that this unpredictable character will give birth
[edit] PIX THAT MAKES A HEDGEJEW LULZ
 Weegee's Final Smash |
 I'd get back in the kitchen in the face of that |
 Funny because it's true. |
 I hope I get to say this someday to someone who deserves it. |
 Scouter: $201. Hiring 4 guys to look like idiots: $562. The look on their faces at a power level of 9001...priceless. |
 BIKECAT = win. |
 = 3(|) |
 JOKERS? IN MY DEAD CELEBRITIES? It's more likely than you think. |
 This message brought to you by The Foundation Of the Elimination of Faggotry. |
 BRACE FOR EPIC |
 Cuntpasted here for my convenience |
 Now we need one for the Sonic fandom |
 I have not lol'd so hard in so long |
 Those crazy azns |
 A SHOOP DA WHOOP by yours truly |
 1337speak? In MY history? It's more likely than you think. |
 Not exactly lulzworthy, but Longcat (ne Shiro) is certainly an adorable cat. |
 Stolen from User:LoliHAETpizza |
 I lol'd buckets |
