User:HoZKiNZ

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

k, so this might be tl;dr, but i assure you its well worth a read. its a true story too, so i hope you enjoy it. im writing it here cuz im bored.

anyways, i had a girlfriend, shes 16 and im 18, and she was pregnant. we were struggling with our payments of the rent and the bills and whatnot. we heard that there was a local talent agency in town and we figured that we would give it a shot, just to get some money in.

anyway, we walk into the office of the talent agency, and the guys like "ok, so what have you got". he mustve been some kind of weeaboo or something cuz he had anime posters and japanese stuff all over the place. anyways i start telling a few jokes, you know, classics, jokes you immediately think of when you think of the word joke, with my girlfriend sitting down behind me, who was pregnant at that time. so anyways, these jokes arent really going down well with the talent agent, and i crap myself, i mean really crap, its like red hot bloody diahrreoa, and it starts pouring out of the bottom of my trousers. immediately, my girlfriend starts panicking because she was thinking that we wouldnt get a job in the entertainment industry. so improvising, she pulls down my trousers and my underwear, and starts lapping at my shit. swept with emotion, i completely lost sight of our goal of getting work, and my penis becomes stiff. im proud of my manhood when it comes down it it, i mean, its fucking huge, and think, like the size of my fist, but in cock form. seeing my cock, my girlfriend gives me some of the old rusty trombone, and i came hard, this stuff sprayed everywhere, all over the walls, and i think some went in the talent agent guy's mouth, but i cant be too sure, i just heard him sort of slapping his lips together.

in ecstasy, and after cumming that great load, i grab my girlfriend by the hair and pull great big clodges out, and do the same with her pubic hair, which she seemed to enjoy. anyways, my cock was starting to get soft again. i love it when my girlfriend gives me head, but she can never fit it fully inside her mouth, due to the size of my cock. thinking of this, i grab her jaws with my hands and tear her jaw apart. she then faints on the floor, but i still want to cum again, so i now grab my cock and ram it down her gaping throat. i was sure i could feel her lungs or something bristling against the head of my cock. i cum again, just as hard as the last time, inside my girlfriends windpipe, this stuff fills her up, you could see her body swelling with it. again, i got bored again, and the talent agent guy seemed to be enjoying the show. so i looked around for something to try. idk if any of you are aware of guro hentai, but anyways, i notice that the talent agent guy has a collection of katana's/samurai swords. i say to him "may i" and he nods slowly, with a smirk.

grabbing this blade, and remembering the guro i sometimes fap to, i cut her head open, with my hard-again cock still inside her throat. it comes clean off, her whole head and the tip of my penis, which i put on the talent agents head as a hat. then i slowly ccut open my girlfriends stomach, remembering that there was a baby inside. she was nearly ready to give birth anyway, and the fetus is modtly formed. so i took it out of her stomach, and i was sure it was alive, or opened its eyes or something. anyways, i took the baby thing and put my cock straight up its ass, there was still blood from my cock gushing everywhere, and i was starting to feel faint, but always wanted to penetrate a baby, so thats what i did. blood gushed straight into the kids ass (it was a girl by the way, inc ase you were wondering) and goes straight through its body, and starts pouring out of his mouth. anyways, somehow, i dont know how, i cum again, into the kid and he just explodes, entrails fly everywhere.

i then fall to the ground due to the amount of blood loss, with shit down my backside, my girlfriend dead and ripped apart on the floor covered in blood and bits of exploded fetus everywhere, and cum dripping from the walls and the ceiling and the talent agent, looking amazed at this spectacle that he has just seen, and still wearing my helmet as a hat, says "wow son, that was a fucking epic performance" at this point i was losing the will to live. he then tells me that he has an opening for such a showand asks "what are you called?"

i murmur with what little breath i have left and say... "the... the aristocrats" -HoZKiNZ 14:16, 25 March 2008 (CDT)