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User:Jfyiadch/Amazon

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Unfortunatly, there are no semi-nude amazons on this site.

Amazon Disaster

Once upon a time, stores used to offer ridiculous sales that would have people lined up around the block before the store even opened. This would often result in death by trampling and lulzy fights over ugly sweaters.

Sweaters! Sweeeeeaters!

Amazon.com decided to attempt to get this sort of result in 2006 on Thanksgiving Day by offering 1000 Xbox360s for 100 USD. Purchasing one of these consoles was to be an easy process. One simply had to be on the site at 11:00 AM, vote for something, enter a code and complete a simple math question correctly (to weed out the Nigerians, no doubt).

1 Oh Shi-
2 End Result
3 Links
4 Shit for Sale
5 See also

[edit] Oh Shi-

Unfortunately, Amazon.com forgot that the Internet isn't real life. Instead of resulting in lulz and death, it resulted in about 100 million people frantically refreshing multiple browsers. The internet pulled down the metal security gate on that shit. Millions of fat fucks everywhere stared at their screens in disbelief while Nigerians everywhere tribal-danced with joy. Apparently, they are better at simple math than Americans.

The pope says:

"Whoa! I've been hearing about people getting to the math question portion of the check out and having to answer something like 9+7!!! SINGLE DIGITS!?!??! I had to answer a math equation involving the sum of two DOUBLE DIGIT NUMERALS!!! 58+37? WTF!! I had to pull out my calculator! This is bullshit man, pure bullshit!"

[edit] End Result

Fuck you, Amazon.com

Thousands of fat fucks everywhere died from impacted colons after demolishing whole turkeys to sedate their fail-related depression.

[edit] Links

Founded in 1984 by Jeff Bezos, Amazon.com is one of the Internets' largest stores. They sell everything from books to butt plugs. Amazon.com allows you to buy stuff with one click.

It is where all the 16 year old girls post their wishlists, as to facilitate people getting them all the random crap they want when they show their tits. It's also popular with people like this who form a circle jerk with their pals and write glowing reviews of their own work.

The name of the site is a reference to Bezos's predilection for women standing over twelve feet tall dressed in leopard skins (made from leopards approximately ten feet long), showing one tit each and bearing clubs.