User:Kvn8907/Furry

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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ
THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO

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Different kind of people all calling themselves "furry"

If furries were firm-bodied 19-year-old girls with nice tits in bunny suits and a preference for the better sex, there'd be no need for an ED article and we'd be too busy to write one. Unfortunately, Furries are the opposite: they're out to damage and scar your soul by sexualizing childhood cartoon characters and dressing up in animal costumes to have sex in. Gay sex.

What's most disturbing are the intricate full-body suits(known as fursuits) that every furry will eventually build and most will only have sex while wearing them, often while using tickling furshampoo. Furry artwork tends to depict severely disturbing, overtly sexual interspecies relationships. Many furfags claim to be born that way but they're actually just delusional and chose to be furry to fit in with someone, because every other subculture rejected them for ~~good~~ obvious reasons. Packetgrinder theorized that most furfags are simply run-of-the-mill fags who are too grotesque to convince others to have anal sex with them unless their flabby zit-covered bodies are completely cloaked in a 50/50 cotton-poly tiger costume. However, it should be noted that after a hard night of drinking, a young woman in Santa Cruz was convinced to actually let a Furry stick his zit-ridden cock in her vagina. Fortunately, she came to her senses once he began to make cat noises, and left the son-of-a-bitch with blue balls. After battling the psychological trauma from the ordeal, she committed suicide a month later. Although the Furry went on to claim more unfortunate victims, he ended up dead after trying to carry out a vore fantasy involving a fox, a cow, and one very unlucky chicken.

Old media learning about the furries

Some furfags claim that they have no sexual interest whatsoever, and simply enjoy walking around their house in a dog suit when no one else is watching. This is a lie since all furfags are drawn to sexual perversity regardless of their species. Furfags only say this kind of thing when they are threatened with death or when they find new victims for "surprise yiff". Just to be on the safe side, if a furfag ever tells you they're celibate, you should castrate them to ensure their celibacy.

Furfags claim that their "furfaggotry" is an innate part of themselves. Sometimes they claim it's a "totem animal" in order to give themselves the same legitimacy that druids have in D&D. Sometimes they claim that they were actually an animal in a previous life, and have been reincarnated. Sometimes they claim that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE a lycanthrope, who can magically transform into a real, actual animal. Usually it's the other way around and that they're RILLY RILLY HONEST AND FOR TRUE an actual animal with the magical ability to turn into a socially maladjusted loser and get stuck that way for the rest of their miserable lives. Unfortunately, they continue to shun and reject the guaranteed cure for their condition which is of course, an hero.

The innate natures or totem animals or whatever delusional justification they provide almost always (99.9999% of the time) take the form of an animal that is either cute (rabbits, mice, woodchucks, etc), dangerous (lions, tigers and bears, oh my!), or rife with dark symbolism (wolves, snakes and ravens). Naturally, these traits are rarely possessed by the furfag's "human nature". Furfags who claim less flashy species (such as banana slugs or an anchovies) as their totem animals are almost non-existent, but only because they haven't found a way to anthropomorphize them for their sick sexual fantasies... yet. In fact, the only known exceptions are the furfags who deliberately chose a non-standard totem animal so they could (A) be socially-maladjusted outsiders even within the Furry community (and if that doesn't make you flinch, nothing will); and (B) say "NUH-UH" to anybody who makes the observation outlined in this paragraph.

If it wasn't enough that "All Furfags fail at life and should become an hero", they're hypocrites: Whenever someone on 7chan posts artwork of a hot human woman in a furry thread, the furfags say stuff like: "Ugh, humans are so ugly, especially when they try to look like us. GTFO with that noise. Talk about a fail at life."

These faggots also got the 100m GET, which proves that furries truly are the cancer that is killing /b/.

Recruitment

This is what happens when kids are raised on a diet of Disney cartoons that depict animals with love interests are constantly told to play with talking teddy bears, or watch Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, and that shitty cartoon animal Robin Hood movie to severe excess. The Furry subculture can also be viewed as the product of an unholy miscegenation of hick and nerd culture, much like how HIV is thought to have developed as a result of humans fucking chimpanzees, because animal fucking is a popular hick pastime and anime is a staple of nerd civilization.

Furry art

"Artist" failed 4th grade

WHY? Why don't you just draw people?

Some furries claim they're just in it for the art. True or not, many furries consider themselves "artists". Naturally, their "art" runs the gamut of things that wouldn't pass muster in a 4th grade class to things that make you wonder why they're wasting their time in Furry.

Drive in hell carfag!	Anime furry Nazis sucking each other off	Good 'ol days	Why would someone draw this?
Like zombies, they eat your brainssss	No fetish is too fucked up for furfags.	the disease is spreading to a few games to, oh noes!!!1	Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich
IRL? O rly?	Interracial furry sex	Furry art made for mouse fuckers.	How babies are made
	A fantastic scupture by Zaush.

Deceptions

Of course, this is exactly what they want you to think: that they're just a bunch of artists. The reality is much worse. In real life, furries have two traits, that they'll try to cover up as best they can, but are always present: they're sad, pathetic losers, and they do horrible things.

Sad

Furry in fursuit next to one without. Now you see why they wear fursuits.

Furries are the scum of the earth, and the surest candidates for dying alone. The furry fandom will accept ANYONE, and hence attracts the worst and most pathetic people in the world. Furries are so ugly that they make Brian Peppers look attractive, so stupid that they make Aspies vigorously deny being them because they're the only thing stupider than them, and pathetic beyond compare. FAIL doesn't even begin to encompas how bad Furries have done in life.

Some furries are too poor to afford an animal costume and have to use their pajamas. Apparently they're too poor to afford ears that match either.	This is your brain on lonely	A furfag in its natural habitat. Note the furry legs	Lol wut?
A typical night for a furry	IRL furries without fursuits	Furry in a MMORPG	Might I have a spot of anal sex from a dog, guv'nah?
How furfags multiply	Remember: Being a furry is both harmless and consensual.	Furry & emo? Christ.	A sick fuck from YouTube
The same sick fuck from YouTube	Chevelle: A sick fuck that wants to be raped by furries. It's true.	Scene from a furry convention	Where is your God now?

Horrible

If they were just pathetic, like nerds, they could mostly be passed over without much of a thought, and maybe even pittied. But in addition to being failures at life, their minds are constantly thinking of more perverted things to do, which show up not only in their REAL art (the kind they put in a separate folders and tag with so many warnings you wonder why they put it OL on the first place), but in the things they do IRL.

Since ED only allows one collapsable gallery per page, this is the best one to collapse

Horror

Typical furry's daily comic strip. This is the only thing clean enough in this galery to show before the cut.

Tenuous grasp of anatomy	Pictured: Typical mid-level furry jackoff material. The call it "cock vore".	You gonna get raped!	They said "squeak squeak"! That means it's totally consensual!	A Typical heart warming furry tale.
Dorian Thorn tries to be a furry by buttfucking his mom's stuffed animals while she's out.	A typical Furry lul	The idealistic furry sextoy as taken from Mimi's Girls. YIFFY.	The Truth about furfags	typical furry mating ritual
Furries like sex with animals, as drawn by Arania	non hardocre yiff	Typical comic made by a furfag. Story plots don't get worse this.	Typical furry's daily comic strip	The Truth about furfags

Furry Retaliation

Ain't gonna happen. Furries are so pathetic that they won't even become an heros.

Obviously, furfags are a blight on the world. They sit around in their suits skullfucking each other whilst making weird animal noises and drawing art that even your mother wouldn't love.

So, there's definately hostility on the internet. However, there's a big difference between wishes and what people actually do.

Here's what people want to do to furries:

All furfags need to be rounded up and herded into camps, where they will be forced to build cheap TV's for the poor 20 hours a day. What they do for the other 4 hours is up to them. While they'll inevitably die of exhaustion, the survivors should have no problems consuming the bodies, as it's one of their fetishes, lulz.

Remember, just like witches and homosexuals, if you do not dedicate your life to end the existence of furries, you are one of them.

Hence, the appropriate WH40K copypasta regarding the correct mindset when dealing with furries:

“

This is as my Master told it to me and now I tell it thee.

There are a billion names of furfaggotry! A billion kinds of furries that slither and slime and defile the land and sea and wind. Each furry is a kind of sin spawned by the internet's evil. And that internets is very sinful there are many of these damned furfags and their power is great.

As the purpose of all things in nature is to increase so it is with the furry. They would we joined them and so they seek to overcome us. In alien forms they assault us. In sleep they come to spread doubt and fear among us. They would corrupt our hearts and see us yiff too. Trust them not nor suffer them to live.

For each furfag destroyed is a soul freed from eternal bondage. Each mortal furry life extinguished is an /i/nsurgent soul raised to glory. Thus our eternal destiny is written in the blood of the furfag.

With box and tampon destroy the furfag. With pizza and koran smash the furfag. With credit card hacks and searing mormons scatter the furfag to the stars. With gore and dataforce and bandwidth raep, with hax and AIDS and jehovas, with yellow vans and steroids!

Kill them! Kill them! Kill them all!

As my Master told it me I now tell it thee that thou shalt tell others in thy turn.

In an internet of a million sites, what is the death of one site in the cause of purity? Some may question your right to destroy ten billion furfags. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live.

„

—Anonymous, on furries.

Their imagination is even worse as they think of ways they might hurt the furries.

What to do if you see a furry	One suggested improvement to furry conventions	HAHAHAhuhaha >=D!	IS A THROWDOWN, A SHOWDOWN, HELL NO I CAN'T SLOW DOWN IT'S GONNA GO
This is nice until you realize it was probably made by some furfag with a head severing fetish.	What Everyone Thinks about furfags.	Scientists are currently thinking of ways to exterminate furfags.	Proper way to greet a furry
A day that's coming soon (hopefully)

But, the internet is really just filled with Internet Tough Guys, so this is really the extent of "retribution" against furries:

Oh great. You slightly inconvenienced them. I'm sure they're crying in their sleep

Facing perhaps the greatest blight on the internet, this user does the only thing that comes to mind: 20 topic repost on a forum.

Girl furries

What the few actual female furries look like.

Almost all furries are boys. However, some will act like girls. In truth, there are a few female furries, but almost all are just guys acting like girls, or girls doing things that are only furry in the vaguest sense.

Remember:

Rule 30 still holds
Pictures aren't real. A picture of a female furry doesn't necessarily mean a female furry exist anywhere but a furry's mind.
Adobe® Photoshop® does marvelous work
Some women will briefly dress as furries to please their man. Putting on cat paws to please a furry doesn't necessarily make one a furry.
It's probably a trap

Of the remaining few that are actually female and actually furry:

They're almost always fat and ugly
They're almost always lesbians
They tend to look like the girl on the right

Again with the female furfags. Notable: cam-posing and catgloves.	Furry Chicksor can be cute, But is still a furfag.	Jailhouse gay furfags wish this actually happened, ever	Believe it or not, the situation used to be worse
Furry gender reallocation success.	A furry picture that was in Playboy	Dividing by zero yields this result.	Hot Japanese girl that a furry photoshopped so he can fap to it
No way, furfags can't be female. What the fuck?!

Wikipedia drama

Since furry existence revolves around WikiEdit Drama, many of wikipedia's admins are furfags, such as: ContiE, Fennec, Furrykef, Loganberry, Wiki alf, and Wwwwolf---all of whom are the same person. There is also Krishva, who insists her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries and has made it her lifelong goal in life to make sure that web sites such as Wikipedia, are as accurate (read: white-washed) as possible. This involved making approximately eleventy gazillion edits to Wikipedia's "Furry" article and, when that didn't fulfill her need for alpha-wolf dominance, also the "Furry fandom", "Funny animal", and "Talking animal" articles.

Why in the world Wikipedia has separate articles for "Furry" and "Furry fandom" in the first place is one of the many infinitesimally trivial points being bickered about by Krishva in the various articles' talk pages. Why? Because certain furfags want to deny that furry has anything to do with sex. There is one yiff pic in existence that doesn't resemble this and they put it on their yiff article. Obsessively denying the relation between sex and furfags on wikipedia is likely the result of furry-style castration.