User:Kvn8907/Matt Damon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Matt Damon is a retard fag, who was featured on Team America World Police.
Matt Damon is a squishy faced retard. Despite his low IQ and terribly bad looks, he's made many movies, including his three most recent: Oceans Eleven, Borne Identity, and Stuck on you.
Matt Damon recently won the Hottest Man award, resulting in Roman Showers everywhere.
For the record: Matt Damon is fucking horrible. Absolutely asshole-sucking awful. He is an terrible ball-sucking fucktard of a "actor" who must have sold his soul to the Dark Lord Satan himself to become famous.
Damon boldly represents a new brand of 21st Century actor; a actor whose act doesn't rely on being good. This may seem contrary to what common sense would indicate (especially considering the fucking insane levels of popularity that he has gained), and so you might argue that this douche-bag must have made a good movie at some point in his career. You would be wrong. In days gone by a actor actually had to be good to star in anything but a porno; but not any more. Matt Damon is to acting as Dane Cook is to comedy.
He is mostly admired by 16 year old girls and lesbians, who want to take it in the ass from him. 13 year old boys usually tell 16 year old girls that they like Matt, so they can get blowjobs from the girls.
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Matt Damon: Cam Whore
Matt Damon is mainly known IRL, but is also on the interwebs. There are lots of videos of him on Youtube, and Facebook has 466 groups related to him, such as "I love Matt Damon!!", "I hate Matt Damon!", and "After Seeing 'The Departed', I Totally Wanna Fuck Matt Damon." This has helped inflate his already massive ego.
Matt Damon's stimulating conversations:
^^Notice how the other actors at least try to look like they're smart... But still not Matt Damon.
Matt Damon's Fans
Matt Damon is popular among retards and people who have never seen a good actor in their life. Matt Damon's movies usually consist of him running around with the same retarded expression fixed upon his face. This causes him to fail miserably, but Borne Identity earned $213,925,107 here and abroad.
His more devoted fans typically defend him with laughable or just plain trite explanations, usually along the lines of: "Titan A.E. rocked!"; "Everyone who 'bashes' Matt and the work he does needs to shut their mouths until they get to know the real him!!111"; "If Ebert and Roper gave it thumbs up, it's got to be good" or "Matt Damon is a great guy and he isn't afraid of what people think of him!"
(Predictably enough, 98% of these virulently defensive hero-worshipping groupies have never even had the opportunity to exchange a few brief words with the disinterested man.)
His hair also makes him look like a 13 year old boy.
Just as a final note, it must be repeated that Matt Damon is not good. Not his Oceans Eleven, not Eurotrip, not The Brothers Grimm, nothing. It's not even up for discussion. Quite simply, Matt Damon sucks balls.
Did you know...
- Matt Cook is a dirty freak?
- As a child, Matt Damon had horrible nightmares about Pedobear?
- Matt Damon is an actor?
- Matt Damon licks dog balls?
- Matt Damon sucks the 19 inch cock of Satan?
- He is the source of anti-lulz?
- Matt Damon actually likes vaginas?
Matt Damon on the Youtubes
Be sure to visit the comment pages of these videos for some high quality drama and easy trolling opportunities
