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From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Good Fanfics
Fallout: The Brthorhood of Sietl! by nikopimp69
The original version:
CHAPTER ONE: WAHT IS FALLOOT
One days in the future but aslo the past, a nukular war was had happened and made the wrold darkk and scarry and coverred ni dust and fallout cause that was the game. Sam Fallout was a brthorhood palidin fro miny years and was very smarts with lazar gin. He was sitting in the washingmachine tower when call cums over the radio "three dogs her, i ned help at glalaxys newt radio!" the radio said but was voice of three dog. So sam had be gotten his lazar gun and power armor and beer cause beer is tasty and said "three dog will ned mi hlep at teh galazy niws!" and so he want.
CHAPTER TWO: HE TRIES TO CATCH A TRAIN BUT DOESNT CAUSE OF TEH GIOULS
Sam jumped down from teh washingmachine and landed on suppermutant. one of the dead suppermutants said "hey u juts squashed mi frends" and got mad and sad cause his friend was dead. sam tehn said "i dont think you have ani firends!" and ran away laughing. Sam thoguht that he could ctach a train from a mettro sation but whens he got there all that were there were giouls! "Giouls are dead or somting, i will put tehm out of thar miserie and be good karma!" and so he shots the giouls dead and tibaggeded their crops Sam ransns really fats thrugh teh tunnel and eventuallyally he madz it to galixcy newz raidio. But whenz he got there, the suppermutant from befour was outside the bilding and was behemoth adn jewish. "taht is it for my friend? you will pay Sam fall out!" and the behemoth gotted a litpol and begans swings at Sam. "ho oh noess, what will i do? mi lazar is no use agaizt behemoth or jewish. I KNOW" as somwere near bi was a scat man nuka luancher and sam pickeded it upz nd fire the bomb at the behemoth and the behemoth felled over.
CHAPTER THREE: TREE DOG IS OKAY OR NOTT GLIFFHANGAR?
Sam was has butsing in the door to three dogs's riadio station and found tree dog standingz there with mug on hiz head. "three dog, i tought u werr in truble" said and was is get angry at three dogz. "o yah wellz i got my coffe mug stuk on mai head lol" said thre dog and they began laughing. but the laughed was ended when sam lazared three dog. "no mores i wakls out here to save u again" and the sam ate three dogs heart for courage and strength. Then he went to Megatron, teh townn with a bombomb and went to Moirartys Saloomnmn and wakled in. He oloked round and saw mister bruke. "hey you come overs here and we can talk" said mister bruke. "wahht do u want" said Sam fallout to mister bruke "hey i wants you to bow up metatron"
CHAPTER FOUR: LERNING OF THE DEFINIATIVE WEREABOOTS OF THE WEPON TO DEFEET STUFF.
Sam fallout who was the heroe of the last sotry was in a barr with mister bruke, a pretty bad guy who wanted to bow up megatron, the town with the bombomb. "bow up metatron? But piple will dy! I canz not alow this" said Sam Fallout and he was going to kill mister bruke. "hmm in dat case I guess you will die" and then like a ninja, mister bruke dissapered into tin air and was gone from moriartys salonmon Sam knew that mister bruke can is send evil guys called tallon cumpany after him, and sam might ned betar wepon thann Lazar gin. he was frustereated and was sat down at the bar and gartherd his throughts wich we lost in his head. "hay brotherhood man, ned a berr" said teh gioul behind the barr and was aslo trying to get glllazsky news ratio to work. "dun bother with teh radio, i killed three dog and ate his heart for courage and strength" said Sam fallout and drank his beer that he had pakked from his home at teh washgingmachine towar. he thouught that maibe that gioul would know of a powarfull wepon to kill mister bruke with and save megatonn. "hey gobb, does yho know of ah wepon that can killz mister bruke? i herd he is powerful man and is no bullet" said Sam while drilking beer like manly. "i herd a rumor that a graet wepon called teh Gatling MIRV is somwere near bi. it is said to be hidden in a plaece called Fairfax, in teh ruinz. it can fire up to 9000 nukular missils a secund!" Sam knew taht this was a verrry gud wepon and he killed Gobb and said "U may be nice gioul but u are still a gioul and dead or sometin. Stop of the living and be dead" And sam left the bar and megatron.
CHAPTER FIVE: HE BEGINS WALKING ALONG A ROAD TO FAIRFAX BUT IS GOTTED LOST
Sam left Megatronn and saw a begar outsid who said "I ned water plise!" and beggeded Sam Fallout for watre and Sam Fallout said back "yea sure have some water...of justice" and killed him as it was tweh wasteland and anyting goes. It was a long walk along teh road and Sam gots lost along the way and ended up at a paelce called Lamblinght Cavvernns. "Hm it is geting dark and scarry and i ned to tak scheltar. Maibe these caverns will be a plaec to hid out" said Sam fallout and rans in but whens he gots in ther there where craploads of kids "hay u munglo get out of here before we killz u!" yelled Mayur Muxcreedy with a rifle pointwed at Sam's head. Sam then said "hye i juts want to come in a take shelter im no pedo" and so they lets him in. Sam went asking about for the locaion of Fairflax and the Gatlinng MIRV and eventually someon tlod Sam Fallout taht a guy named Sticky hadz known aboot it but had just bin exited from Lamplight due to his being of the oldness. Sam decided to deal with it in teh mourning and wentsz to bed.
CHAPTER SIX: WHERRRING THE WOLD IS STICKY?
Sam gotten awake and was going to find sticky and gets teh MIRV and kill mister bruke. so he wents oloking for sticky but sam was dumb and fate was had sent sticky to him. "hay cans u get meh to big town? Pleaze?" asked sticky and was super annoying to Sam Fallout. "okai but onlys if u tell me where Gatling MIRV is and teh werresbout of fairfax" said Sam Fallout and sticky told him how to gets there from lapplight and Sam was a guy of his word and began to get sticky to big town. Along teh way they found a old power sation, and inside it was waht olokled liek a scat man but wasnt, and it donent had ammo. There was a comperter near bi that Sticky read for sam as sam beelived reeding was for scribes and moar importants guys. "acoordinin to this thingo with a scrien, this is teh "divsion by zero gun" adn it will divide by zero!" siad sticky and gave it to sam. "well i don't need the gatling mirv thingy nao, but i guez i can taek u to big town aniway sticky" so they wakled for another hourah, all teh time with sticky telling super annyoing sotrys about dogs and robots and ants and super heros. "sticky wait here a sec, i ned to scoutout head" finally Sam tried out the division by zero gun on sticky from up on teh hill and was amazed at it... he knew he could takes on mister bruke and talllon cumpany with this gun, and be the winner! and so he beghans wakl to tennpennny towar...
CHAPTER SEVEN: FIENAL CONNSEQUENSES
Sam Fallout enterered the tower rekecptionn and shotted everyone and he killeded them cause they were rich and mean and didn't let their poo stink get to their nose. Sam Falloot screamed "you guys are unaware of the feces, and you must die for knowing mr bruke" who incase u forgot , was person who send men to kill sam fallout for rejecting offar to blow up metratron. The dead people scrieamd bak "Sam Fallout, you are big lik this towar and strong lik brahmin. Pliese fourgive us" they said while dying fast like fast. Sam Fallout vaulttded ovar the deskk, and minigunned the oncoming sercurety gards. Bullets hit the wall and people were getting shot but Sam Fallout cared not for bullets and death. He threwa a nuka grenade and blew up a sercurity guard. A woman who waz hot but aslo not hot (u know ones I mean) ran up to Sam Fallout and said "Sam u are manly and tough. I love you Sam Fallout" and she leaned in to kiss him and make babies of later. But Sam was tough and pusshed her bak adn said "miss u are beautiful but i can't. i have a mission to complete and u are another obstacle" and he punched her head off and stole her money. Sam Fallout then jumped fast out of way of grenades thrown by communist old guy and ran towars lift lik action movie star chuck Norris and got in. He rode it to top of towar and beat the crap out of guards. He ran onto the balcony of allistair tenpenny. it was heere, no where else, where finale confrontotion would toke place. no guns, no guards, final confrontation. "Dye you monster! You don't bellong in this whorld!" said Sam Fallout, and got ready to fight.
"Ah sam fallout, we meat at last in this towar. Yhou may have kiled all mi guards, and beaten mi wimin. But thihk of whatt u have accomplished. Thihk of one thing...one..." Said Allistair tenpenny and asked sam this ultamatimum. "One tighn have accomplished...I KIKED UR FUCKING ASS" and punched Allistair tenpenny of his punk ass towar. These guiys (Sam Fallout and Tenpneey) fought, throwing punches, until they were at a power station, and Sam Fallout was thrown into a electricity gneerator. The sparks went across the powar armour, and Tenpenny laughed. "Sam, you are just a kiddy kid, dho u treally think you can fight me?" and laughed. Sam fallout's armor was turned into tesla armor by the electricity, and said "Kiddy kid? no....I AM A MANLY MAN" And punched tenpenny in the head and they continuned to fight. They fought so far that Megaton exploded and piopple 20 miles away died instatantly from the force of their blows. They fgouht for three days and eventualallyll thei came to Raven Rock and Sam had Tenpenyy at his mercie "Sam plize...think of teh worlld we could build togevher. Yourr strnght anad my mind and money, we could rule this wasteland." said Allistar, begging for his old man life. "Tenpenny, you are dirty man, and you need a wash" And Sam Fallout kiked punched him down into the river. But amazgninly Allistar was alvie at the river. "See Sam, I still live! You are worthelessly bad!" scrieamed allistar "I WHOLEHEARTDLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR OPINION!" And Sam Fallout fired the division by zero gun and the blue light shone bright, bright than the light of a thousand dying satars and then...
-EPILOG-
"come on you mahgotts, do more pushups or i will rip off your dick and shove it your mouths you queeros" screamed the drill sargant, at the citadel base. "sir yes sir" screamed the inishiates and began more pf pushups. A guy ran up to them and said "Drill Sargant, the coiuncil needs u in the control room" said the paladin. "THANKS MAGGOT! ILL BE RIGHT THERE" screamed the saragnt and headed right down there quick fast. The council was in the room when the drill sargant arrived. "Oh good ur hear. This is the sitatuion sargant. The enclave had been spotted at that place of the Raven Rock, and this is teh first time thier hav been spotted in Washingmachine DC" Said the leader of the brotherhood of steel. "It sounds nasty" said the drill sargant, and began to walk out. "no wait we need your help. You may bee the only one who can help us. We're strecthced thin and we need any and all teh suppfort we can get. How about it? for old times sake?" sad the leader of the brotherhood of steel. The drill sargant sighed and said "Okay...I'll get going to raven rock" and he began to walk out of the citadel. One of the inishiates worded to the leader "who is that guy, and won't he need help?" and the leader just laughed and said. "kid, that guy is a hero, he's reckless, he's fearless and he's a walking army...if anyone can defeat the enclave, it's him. If anyone can save teh wrold...it's Sam Fallout"
The End.
The grammatically correct version:
CHAPTER ONE: WHAT IS FALLOUT?
One day in the future, but at the same time in the past, a nuclear war took place and made the world dark and scary and covered in dust and fall-out, because it's that way in the games. Sam Fallout was a Brotherhood paladin for many years and was very skilled with laser guns. He was sitting in the Washington Monument when a call came over the radio. "Three Dog here, I need help at Galaxy News Radio!", the radio said, but it was voice of Three Dog. So Sam took his laser gun and power armor and beer, because beer is tasty and said "Three Dog will need my help at the Galaxy news!" and so he went.
CHAPTER TWO: HE TRIES TO CATCH A TRAIN, BUT DOESN'T BECAUSE OF THE GHOULS!
Sam jumped down from the Washington Monument and landed on a super mutant. One of the dead super mutants then spoke, "Hey, you just squished my friend" and got mad and sad, because his friend was dead. Sam then said, "I don't think you have any friends!" and ran away laughing. Sam thought that he could catch a train from the metro station, but when he got there all that was there were ghouls! "Ghouls are dead or something, I will put them out of their misery and gain good karma!", thought Sam and so he shot the ghouls and thee-bagged their corpses. Sam ran really fast through the tunnel and eventually he made it to Galaxy News Radio. But when he got there, the super mutant from before was outside the building and had become a Jewish Behemoth. "This is for my friend! You will pay, Sam Fallout!", spoke the Behemoth and he got a light pole which he began swinging at Sam. "Oh no, what will I do? My laser is of no use against Behemoths or Jews. Wait, I KNOW!", spoke Sam. Somewhere nearby was a Fat Man nuke launcher and Sam picked it up and fired a bomb at the Behemoth, which then fell over.
CHAPTER THREE: THREE DOG IS OKAY OR NOT? (CLIFFHANGER)
Sam busted in the door to Three Dogs' radio station and found Three Dog standing there with a mug on his head. "Three Dog, I thought you were in trouble." said Sam and he became angry at Three Dog. "Oh yeah, well, I got my coffee mug stuck on my head." said Three Dog and they both laughed. But the laughing ended when Sam lasered Three Dog. "I no longer have to walk out here to save you again" spoke Sam and he ate Three Dog's heart to gain more courage and strength. Then he went to Megaton, the town build around a nuclear bomb, went to Moriarty's Saloon and walked in. He looked around and saw Mister Burke. "Hey you, come over here so we can talk." said Mister Burke. "What do you want?" said Sam Fallout to Mister Burke. "Hey, I want you to blow up Megaton"
CHAPTER FOUR: LEARNING OF THE DEFINITIVE WHEREABOUTS OF THE WEAPON TO DEFEAT STUFF.
Sam Fallout who was the hero of the last story was in a bar with Mister Burke, a pretty bad guy who wanted to blow up Megaton, the town with the bomb. "Blow up Megaton? But people will die! I can not allow this!" said Sam Fallout and he was determined to kill Mister Burke. "Hmm, in that case I guess you will have to die!", then, like a ninja, Mister Burke disappeared into thin air and was gone from Moriarty's Saloon. Sam knew that Mister Burke can send evil guys, called the Talon Company after him and Sam might need better weapons than his laser gun. He was frustrated and sat down at the bar and gathered his thoughts which went lost in his head. "Hey, Brotherhood man, need a beer?" said the ghoul behind the bar, who was at the same time trying to get Galaxy News Radio to work. "Don't bother with the radio, I killed Three Dog and ate his heart for courage and strength.", said Sam Fallout and he drank the beer that he had taken with him from his home at the Washington Monument. He thought that maybe that ghoul would know of a powerful weapon to kill Mister Burke with and save Megaton. "Hey Gob, do you know of a weapon that can kill Mister Burke? I heard he is a powerful man." said Sam while manly drinking a beer. "I heard a rumor that a great weapon, called the Gatling MIRV is somewhere nearby. It is said to be hidden in a place called Fairfax, in the ruins. It can fire up to 9000 nuclear missiles a second!" Sam knew that this was a very good weapon and he killed Gob and said "You might be nice ghoul but you are still a ghoul and dead or something. Stop living and be dead." And Sam left the bar and Megaton.
CHAPTER FIVE: HE BEGINS WALKING ALONG A ROAD TO FAIRFAX BUT GOT LOST
Sam left Megaton and saw a beggar outside who said "I need water, please!" and begged Sam Fallout for water. Sam Fallout replied "Yeah, sure, have some water... of justice!" and killed him as this was the wasteland and anything goes. It was a long walk and Sam got lost along the way and ended up at a place called Lamplight Caverns. "Hmm, it is getting dark and scary and I need to take shelter. Maybe these caverns will be a place to hide out" said Sam Fallout and he ran in. But when he got in there, there where craploads of kids. "Hey you Mungo, get out of here before we kill you!" yelled Mayor MacCreedy with a rifle pointed at Sam's head. Sam then said "Hey, I just want to come in a take shelter, I'm not a pedophile!" and so they let him in. Sam went asking about for the location of Fairfax and the Gatling MIRV and eventually someone told Sam Fallout that a guy named Sticky had known about it, but had just been exiled from the Lamplight Caverns due to his age. Sam decided to deal with it in the morning and went to bed.
CHAPTER SIX: WHERE IN THE WORLD IS STICKY?
Sam woke up and was going to find Sticky and get the MIRV in order to kill Mister Burke. So, he went looking for Sticky, but Sam was dumb and fate sent Sticky to him. "Hey, can you get me to Big Town? Please?" asked Sticky and he appeared very annoying to Sam Fallout. "okay, but only if you tell me where the Gatling MIRV is and the whereabouts of Fairfax" said Sam Fallout and Sticky told him how to get there from Lamplight. Sam was a man of his word and began to get Sticky to Big Town. Along the way they found an old power station and inside was something that looked like a Fat Man but wasn't and didn't even have ammo. There was a computer nearby that Sticky read for Sam as he believed reading was for Scribes and more important people. "According to this thing with a screen, this is the "division by zero gun" and it will divide by zero!" said Sticky and gave it to Sam. "Well, I don't need the Gatling MIRV weapon now, but i guess i can take you to Big Town anyway, Sticky." So, they walked for another hour, all the time with Sticky telling highly annoying stories about dogs and robots and ants and super heroes. "Sticky, wait here for a sec, i need to scout ahead." Finally Sam tried out the division by zero gun on Sticky from up on the hill and was amazed at it... He knew he could take on Mister Burke and the Talon Company with this gun and be the winner! And so he began walking to Tenpenny Tower...
CHAPTER SEVEN: FINAL CONSEQUENCES
Sam Fallout entered the tower reception and shot and killed everyone, because they were rich and mean and didn't let their poo stink get to their noses. Sam Fallout screamed "You guys are unaware of the feces, and you must die for knowing Mister Burke!", who in case you forgot, was the person who send men to kill Sam Fallout for rejecting the offer to blow up Megaton. The dead people screamed back "Sam Fallout, you are big, like this tower and strong, like a brahmin! Please forgive us!", they said while dying fast. Sam Fallout vaulted over the desk and gunned down the oncoming security guards. Bullets hit the wall and people were getting shot, but Sam Fallout cared not for bullets and death. He threw a nuka grenade and blew up a security guard. A woman who was hot, but also not hot (you know the ones I mean) ran up to Sam Fallout and said "Sam, you are manly and tough. I love you Sam Fallout." and she leaned in to kiss him and to make babies later. But Sam was tough and pushed her back and said "Miss, you are beautiful, but I can't. I have a mission to complete and you are just another obstacle." and he punched her head off and stole her money. Sam Fallout then quickly jumped out of way of grenades thrown by an old Communist guy and ran towards the elevator like the action movie star chuck Norris and got in. He rode it to top of the tower and beat the crap out of guards. He ran onto the balcony of Allistair Tenpenny. It was here, nowhere else, where finale confrontation would take place. No guns, no guards, the final confrontation. "Die, you monster! You don't belong in this world!" yelled Sam Fallout and he got ready to fight.
"Ah Sam Fallout, we meet at last in my very own tower. You may have killed all my guards and beaten my women, but think of what you have accomplished. Think of one thing... one...", spoke Allistair Tenpenny and asked Sam this ultimatum. "One thing I have accomplished...I KICKED YOUR FUCKING ASS!" and punched Tenpenny off of his punk-ass tower. These guys (Fallout and Tenpenny) fought, throwing punches, until they were at a power station and Sam Fallout was thrown into a electricity generator. The sparks went across his power armor, and Tenpenny laughed. "Sam, you are just a kiddy kid, do you really think you can fight me?" and laughed. Sam Fallout's armor was turned into Tesla armor by the electricity and he said "Kiddy kid? no....I AM A MANLY MAN!". He punched Tenpenny in the head and they continued to fight. They fought so far that Megaton exploded and people twenty miles away died instantly from the force of their blows. They fought for three days and eventually they came to Raven Rock and Sam had Tenpenny at his mercy. "Sam, please... Think of the world we could build together. With your strength and my mind and money, we could rule this wasteland." said Allistair, begging for his old life. "Tenpenny, you are dirty man, and you need a wash!" And Sam Fallout kicked him down into the river. But amazingly Allistair was alive in the river. "See Sam, I still live! You are worthlessly bad!" screamed Allistair. "I WHOLEHEARTEDLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR OPINION!" And Sam Fallout fired the division by zero gun and the blue light shone bright, bright than the light of a thousand dying stars and then...
-EPILOG-
"Come on, you maggots, do more push-ups or I will rip off your dicks and shove them in your mouths, you queers!" screamed the drill sergeant, at the Citadel base. "Sir, yes, sir" screamed the initiates and began more push-ups. A guy ran up to them and said "Drill sergeant, the council needs you in the control room." said the paladin. "THANKS MAGGOT! I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!" screamed the sergeant and he headed right down there. The council was in the room when the drill sergeant arrived. "Oh good, you're here. This is the situation, sergeant. The Enclave had been spotted at Raven Rock, and this is the first time they have been spotted in Washington D.C.", said the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel. "It sounds nasty.", said the drill sergeant and he began to walk away. "No, wait, we need your help. You may be the only one who can help us. We're stretched thin and we need any and all support we can get. How about it? For old times sake?", said the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel. The drill sergeant sighed and said "Okay... I'll get going to Raven Rock." and he began to walk out of the Citadel. One of the initiates worded to the leader "Who is that guy and won't he need any help?". The leader just laughed and said "Kid, that guy is a hero, he's reckless, he's fearless and he's a walking army... If anyone can defeat the Enclave, it's him. If anyone can save the world... it's Sam Fallout".
The End.
