Palshife
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Palshife is a Pseudo-fur, otherkin. When not busy making an ass of himself on LiveJournal, he can be seen heckling the faggier of his ilk, wangsting to Nine Inch Nails, and mocking really bad furry smut on VCL. Object of obsession and personal love-slave of Starblade. Prone to the very drama he detests; total lulz can be derived from his histrionic antics when you mock his fragile female dragon soul.
Most important to his identity is that he is a voraphile and more recently a pregnophile.
Palshife is also an alcoholic. Evidence can be seen on his livejournals, which are listed below - there are also many eyewitness accounts of his drunken lulz on the part of current and former roommates. He also has a dolphin fetish and likes to yiff a certain dolphin plushie of his. He even dreams of one day having sex with a dolphin.
He is a frequent yiffer, though he ironically doesn't consider himself a full fleshed furry fag. When accused of being a slut, he will whine and bitch about how you're also calling his friends a slut, and when confronting him on the issue of who exactly he has slept with IRL, his LJ friends, such as e richard, will call foul and do whatever they can to hide his sexual promiscuity from the public.
Palshife is very obsessed with respect from his friends, so he often does what he can to cover up things like his bed jumping and his drug using. He also cannot admit that his charisma (or lack thereof) and general ability to generate lulz is due entirely to his drinking habits. Two of his favorite hobbies include chain-smoking and pretending to take hour-long showers while masturbating on the toilet.
Palshife likes to play DDR but totally sucks at it. When confronted about this he will make retarded claims of obvious superiority at DDR.
It is believed that Palshife is nearly five grand in debt and will shortly be homeless. This has led to much IRL whining and the manifestation of his personal waddling phenomenon.
Palshife suffers permanent max HP damage upon contact with miniblinds, extension cords, the truth, money, napkins, bicycles, stairwells, beverages, employment, police reports, weight-loss programs, Hispanic pedophile furries, and air.
Palshife is currently dwelling in an Orange County homeless shelter working off his debt to Poland.
Memorable Palshife Quotes
On His Worldly Possessions: If I can fit it, all the furniture I'm bringing is a plastic three-drawer cabinent.
On a Former Roommate: He peed in my cup.
On His Spending Habits: Dragons were baaaad.
On Folded Napkins at Thai Restaurants: Foxes, what is this for?
Eka's chat drama:
Palshife is a user of Eka's chat, but Falrea_Mackenzie chased him out. After changing his password to something completely random and leaving Eka's Chat FOR-EVAR he decided to change his mind and created a new character called Siniykril, which is russian for "Blue Feather". You can log on to the chat and compare the actions of the character Palshife and the character Siniykril and see for yourself that they have exactly the same mannerisms, along with the same choice of sycophants to suck his furry e-penis.
Smokescale drama:
Palshife, despite years being stalked by Starblade, has himself taken to stalking Smokescale, despite Smokecale doing whatever it takes to avoid him. Only time will tell how long Palshife pushes Smokescale before his victim falls over the edge, or rather jumps over the edge and becomes another Stars' Pyre. Hopefully if Smokescale commits suicide, Palshife will go with him, and thus Starblade whose psychology prohibits him from being alive when the love of his life is dead. 3 birds with one stone, eh?
(Note that Smokescale now has a GIRLFRIEND. LOL WHUT? Also note that she actually isn't a furfag. Wow.)
Palshife on /b/:
Palshife is a /b/tard. Rumor has it that he requested a vore picture involving the only OPENLY furry /b/tard which and Pedobear. Yes, even though there's already a voresnake. Said picture is only proof that Palshife is a virus that causes cancer to every online community on which he exists, even if from behind the scenes.
Palshife on LiveJournal:
- palshife_sakura (Current)
- cralenus {redirects to palshife_sakura}
- onebluedragon {deleted}
- palshife {hidden}
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Palshife is part of a series on Furfaggotry |
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Palshife is part of a series on the cancer that is killing /b/. |
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Categories: LJ Users | Furries | 4chan
