User:Ronin Catholic
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
[edit] Who the Heck?
Total Jerkface is a Catholic furry of Irish ancestry. While he resides in Michigan, he is still very un-American. In America. He seems to think it funny to constantly make jokes about how annoying he is. He also makes comuter games, all of which suck. While he was born on November 24th, 1987, he wishes badly to be a 13 year old forever. He makes up for being an old fart by always acting like a 13 year old boy. Oh, he's also a retrogamer and otaku.
[edit] Why Ronin?
He liked the Ronin Warriors anime, was an Otaku, and a Roman Catholic.
[edit] Furriness
Unlike most furries, who decide to be one animal and stick with it, Ronin Catholic is such a wimp that he changes his fursona on the smallest whim; One minute, he's Fox McCloud wearing Link's outfit, the next he's Pikachu wearing Yamcha's clothes, after that he's a recolor of Tails wearing nothing. After he fell in love with a wolf girl on some forum, he changed to a wolf wearing jeans and a T-Shirt. He's also into macro and vore(he wants to be eaten by a giant wolf woman).
While he claims to hate porn, he admits to being addicted to it. This means that he goes to places like fchan, but feels guilty about it afterwards.
He also claims to have never masturbated. This can mean only two of three things:
- 1) He's lying.
- 2) He isn't really aroused by furry porn.
- 3) He doesn't have enough testosterone to do it right.
[edit] Religion
Raised by his Baptist father and Catholic mother, he is the eighth of ten children. His father is expected to become a deacon at their local Catholic Church at some point.
Being a Catholic, he beleives the usual Catholic doctrines; Pokemon and Harry Potter being alright because the Pope says so; eating Jesus; killing abortionists.
But, being a samurai he also beleives in becoming an hero, killing people because, and playing/watching Pokemon.
Being a furry he calls Jesus Aslan, but being an otaku he spells it Azuran.
[edit] Art
Ronin's "Art" consists of MSPaint drawings that he spends 5 minutes on, and crayon drawings that he spends 15 minutes on. They're all of either furries or videogame characters, dwawn from the front.
His favorite color is pink. But he's clearly not gay.
[edit] Fanfic
Ronin has written fanfics of himself. In these, Ronin goes to Japan and is hired as a samurai. When asked to cut himself, he refused and was kicked out. After this, he grows a tail and wings for some reason.
Then he kills an entire army with one fireball spell, which gets him an invite to join Buttwarts School of Spellcraft and Magery(no, seriously, that's what it was called in the story). He was trained in the mystic ways by Harry, Ron, Hermoine, and Draco Malfoy. The school is overrun with persians. One of the friends he makes here is Amy from Sailor Moon.
Then he gets in a fight with a goth version of himself from another dimention who is armed with a lightsaber. He wins by going Super Saiyan(which makes him look like a Pikachu).
Then the world gets messed up because he did an Arfenhouse parody for episode six, so in seven he gets sent to Australia to repent of his crimes. After that, there's some stuff about him wanting to watch furry porn, then a parody of Hamtaro, then a parody of One Piece, then some more fighting himself, then a parody of Sonic Adventure 2, then a fightoff between Cap'n Crunch and Lucky.
Then, for episode 15, he wrote a story about his in-story girlfiend eating him. When the actual user this character was based off of complained, Ronin made it a running gag for another fifteen episodes for his character to try to get eaten while she refused his affections.
Finally, for episode 31, Jesus destroyed the entire universe that the fanfic took place in. Good riddance.
Only a few weeks after this, the website this fanfic was hosted on got deleted. He claims that it had over nine thousand views, but there's no way to verify this and at least half of those were him checking his spelling. Oh, by the way, it was called Ronin Catholic Z. Again, good riddance.
[edit] Animu
Ronin likes all kinds of Auntie May; 4kids is his favorite translator. He likes Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Pokemon, One Piece, Digimon, etc. His favorite animu is Bobo-bo Bo-Bobobo. He hates Yu-Gi-Oh (and Naruto) for some unknown reason. Probably because cards remind him of literacy.
[edit] Life on the Web
He joined a website called [www.castleparadox.com Castle Paradox] and uploaded a furry game. When he got flamed for post revival, he lashed out and told other members that they were going to hell for their not being virgins like him, swearing, and making games that he didn't find fun or funny. Obviously, he got banned for this.
Being the pussy he is, he keeps going back to apoligize.
Then he gets ignored, bored, and and goes away for a few months.
He has also annoyed people on YouTube, Urbandictionary, and at least two Christan sites.
[edit] Copypasta
[edit] Special Powers
Ronin can fly, as he has wings..
Ronin can shrink down to 5 inches in height, to match the length of his normal-sized penis.
Ronin knows Hadouken.
Ronin can use the Falcon Punch, but with a twist! Rather than using it to abort babies, he uses it to kill abortionists. Of course, the ammount of power he puts into this punch usually destroys the clinic, thus killing the mother and baby that he was trying to save. He shrugs this off and walks away.
Ronin can toad.
Ronin can troll.
Ronin can flame.
Ronin can turn into a Super Saiyan Pikachu with a power level of over nine thousand.
Ronin can spend several days inside a woman's digestive tract without being even the least bit digested.
Ronin can be a pink furry and still claim to be heterosexual.
Ronin can turn into a recolor of the Sonic the Hedgehog character Knuckles. A green one named Gruckles.
[edit] Imgages
