User:UncleBastard2u
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Contents |
Uncle Bastard: A Tribute
UncleBastard2u 17:11, 3 October 2009 (UTC)
'I Have a ManCrush on Mr. Bert Convy'
No, I don't want to suck his cock or fuck him up the ass (or vice-versa) or exchange bodily fluids. He is just so suave, sophisticated, debonair, and cute as a bug's ear. He is also dead.
Bert can be seen weekdays at 11am on SuperPassword on the GameShowNetwork.
UncleBastard2u 06:59, 4 October 2009 (UTC)
'People I Would Love To Troll'
- The ghost of Elvis Presley
- Joe Biden
- Keith Olberman
- Marie Osmond
- My lawyer
- Ted Williams' Head
- Flo, the chick from the Progressive commercials
- The ghost of Michael Jackson
- My Air Force recruiter
- My daughter
(This is work in progress. More to come.)
UncleBastard2u 07:55, 6 October 2009 (UTC)
'The Top Ten Reasons Why Johnny the Dog Really Died'
- He just flat out committed suicide. Free at last, My God FREE AT LAST!!!!
- Stacey sat on him.
- Mark sat on him.
- Felicia sat on him.
- Tammy killed him ala Fatal Attraction as a warning: Stop stalking me you freak!
- He fell into the bucket of lard Mark and Stacey use to deep fry their food.
- He drowned in an endless sea of empty Cool Ranch Dorito bags.
- Watched Mark's performance in South Pacific by accident.
- Choked on peanut butter and pubic hair.
- Someone left Stacy Vance Jr's CD on repeat over the weekend. See first reason.
CrybabyMark 03:39, 9 October 2009 (UTC)
The Rest is Silence
So I was sitting here, musing about my own motality, keenly aware that one day I will shuck this stinking, rotten coil. My body will be cremated and the ashes will be sprinkled into the Gulf of Mexico. Sad. But being a Buddhist, I realize that I will return again to this earthly plane. If I have led a good life, I might come back as something beautiful, a butterfly perhaps. But if I have led an evil life, a life of cruelty and corruption and greed and gluttony, I might return as...one of Lindsay Lohan's panty shields.
UncleBastard2u 20:49, 6 October 2009 (UTC)
