Xydexx
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Xydexx is a crazy gay furry who has been totally and unapologetically crazy and gay for unicorns and giant inflatable animals since seventh grade and even wishes he was one (a unicorn, an inflatable animal—sometimes both at the same time). His fursona is a helium-fillable inflatable squeakable purple unicorn. Clearly, this is what eventually turned him into a furry. In the future, scientists may be able to cure this horrible affliction and rid the world of the furry scourge forevar.
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[edit] Career
[edit] How Xydexx ruined Lulzmas
When his Inflatable Animal Fetish Page was mentioned on Portal of Evil years ago, he posted about how much he likes big zebra butts. Unfortunately, he later deleted his page of cervine rubbery-rump-humpery to the eternal annoyance of secret diaper freak and editor Kthor.
Xydexx is most famous for allegedly stealing a giant 12' tall inflatable reindeer from a local mall in November 2002. Although he incessantly proclaimed his innocence, he later posted numerous pictures of the inflatable reindeer and made lewd comments about how "boinkable" it was. Why anyone would want to boink an inflatable reindeer is anyone's guess.
After leaving no donut shop unchecked, police recovered the much-used reindeer a few days later, deflated and icky. It was quickly returned—still wet and dripping—to its original perch atop the mall marquee amid delighted cheers of holiday shoppers. The next year the mall set up a "Reindeer Protection Squad" to ensure no evil inflatable reindeer-molesting perverts could evar ruin Lulzmas again. Thus, Lulzmas was saved and everyone lived happily evar after.
[edit] Winning arguments by running away from them
Xydexx has a habit of running away from arguments by claiming to "have better things to do" with his time, like drinking tea or looking for inflatable horse porn. He typically deletes everything, accuses his opponent(s) of being unfunny, and says they spend too much time on the Internet.
One example was when Xydexx had jokingly suggested that Something Awful Goons be launched into the sun to teach them not to mess with furries. He later deleted the comments when he got tired of the drama. This backfired when furry fatbeard Squnq obsessively archived the thread and put his own incomprehensible spin on it. Xydexx finally got around to creating a rebuttal to Squnq's absurd interpretation of his deleted posts two years later, but at that point nobody really cared. Later that year, he got drawn into WikiEdit Drama over trivial minutiae with gigantic dramallama Krishva, who had endlessly insisted her childhood was destroyed forevar by furries. Their seemingly endless back-and-forth that anything remotely to do with fictional anthropomorphic talking animals couldn't possibly be furry ended in complete wikifailure.
[edit] Goodbye, cruel Interweb
Xydexx faked his own death in a horrific blimp accident in March 2007 in order to escape cyberstalking and harassment he was getting from creepy drama-addicted sociopath StukaFox. Xydexx eventually deleted everything and announced he was no longer interested in OMG DRAMA IS SERIOUS BUSINESS and went on a 24-hour giant inflatable reindeer buttsecks marathon instead.
Today, Xydexx is considered a moribund third-rate tourist trap devoid of anything interesting. The only remaining lulz to be harvested come from watching former Burned Furs like 600-lb. anime eatbeast otakuoftomobiki (MOAR LIEK OTAKUOFDRAMABIKI, amirite?), who spectacularly self-destructed in a giant dramatic deluge of piteous weeping upon realization that OMG DUMBLEDOAR IS TEH GAY. Seriously, people. WTF? How many years will be devoted to this ridiculous pile of TL;DR that isn't even lulzworthy?
[edit] Quotes
- Besides, everyone knows drama isn't awesome — it's stupid, tiresome, and the primary reason Encyclopedia Dramatica is and forever shall be the web's lamest wiki.
- ED is lame because they can dish it out but can't take it. Uncyclopedia is a hell of a lot funnier.
- What should have happened, IMHO, was that the furries should have surrounded the car and pelted it with rocks, or even dragged them out of the car and beaten the holy fuck out of them. It's one thing to tell goons "stop fucking with us," but, as the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. So if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes, y'know?
- This has already been debunked elsewhere, but for the record anyone who seriously thinks I support violence against Something Awful needs to have their head examined.[1]
- CYD is the place where Mitch ate all the pies.
