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User talk:Vetmode
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Go aka. Baduq aka. Weeaboo Chess was invented at least 100 years ago by male chinese hookers and stolen adapted by the Japs after they raeped their wimmenz and mutilated their children last Thursday.
Mostly played by crippled old fucks, Go has risen in popularity because of the yaoi manga 'Hikaru no go' which brought the weeaboo and narutard plague onto the community because it's z0mj japanese!
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[edit] Your average Go player
[edit] The Weeaboo
Being 12 years old and having just watched over 9000 Episodes of Hikaru no go, his/her spirits are high to absolutely kill fucking everyone with his/her superior Go-fu. Weeaboos either play in local Go clubs where they are getting pwned by the pseudo intellectuals; or Online on KGS where you can notice them by their Naruto avatars and 30k rank.
[edit] The Pseudo Intellectual
This 16-24 y.o. Basement dweller and former chess & math club member is your typical Dungeons & Dragons nerd and social outcast. The pseudo intellectual uses Linux, can code C with his toes and has Lucky Star & The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya in Bluray quality. Due to his frequent visits to /a/ which are highlights of his social life, he stumbled upon Hikaru no go. Unlike the weeaboo he actually knows how to play.
[edit] The Old Fuck
Most of them don't mind the young ones though.
[edit] Insei
Insei's are Go slaves which are bred and raised in captivity, doing mundane tasks that even a chinese gold farmer would shun so that they can one day catch them all.
[edit] Ranks
Go ranks are similar to Powerlevels, you start with a rank of 30k (the k stands for Kilos) and work your way down to 1k where you can transform into a 1dan. As a new 1dan, you kill other players and feast upon their brains to increase your rank further. Once you go beyond 7dan, you can turn into the legendary 1p (the p stands for penis). At the top of all powerlevels, you can only strive for absolute Go Nirvana and hope to become the best go player in the History of mankind.
[edit] Go Gambling
Since go is serious business, you can make serious jew golds with it. Professional Go Gamblers play for money and try to shove more go stones up their ass than their oppenent, winner takes it all.
[edit] Trolling go players
Trolling go players is even easier than to misbehave at a royal english banquet. Every serious go player is so anal about GoEtiquette that he will fall into a raging nerd frenzy whenever you don't 'behave'.
Trolling IRL
- Use your fingers to predict moves on the board, talk loudly about what would happen if 'you do this, then that, ...'.
- Place a stone on the board and keep your finger on it, move it around on the board, take it back and think again.
- Play with your Go stones, especially if they're out of glass, 'accidently' drop some on a hard floor and it may split into 2 razor sharp pieces, put them back into the box.
- Take your time when playing, talk to other people; especially if they're playing as well.
- If you're good, point out important moves on games you aren't playing.
Trolling Online
- Curse! Go players are almost as moraly uptight as christian choirboys.
- Start some delicious E-Drama in the channels, accuse other people of using bots.
- Talk about how XXX owe's you money for a Go lesson you gave him or do it the other way around with high ranked players. (Use sockpuppets for extra lulz, some of those pro's rely on their Go lesson jew gold as their single income.)
- Start multiple games, place your stones randomly and leave while in the middle of the game, don't forget to leave a nice comment.
- Join pro- or tournament games, spam some delicious copypasta or Goatse ASCII's.
