Vanessa Alexandra
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| —Vanessa |
Vanessa Alexandra is a former Suicide Girl who has tried to become Internet famous by posting naked pictures of herself online. This of course isn't going well because even though she wants men and women to tell her how sexy she is, she isn't willing to degrade herself by doing porn.
If she did porn she would have something to offer the internet, but so far she is only posting soft-core "pin-ups" and being a whiny little leech. When she isn't slamming some cum-guzzling scene queen to make herself look tough, she's begging her imaginary fan-base for money to buy herself makeup, clothes, tattoos and Japanese memorabilia.
Someone stuff a cock in her and shut her up, please.
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[edit] Animu and Japan
Vanessa is a weeaboo who wastes her time and money on anything Japanese she can get her hands on. She wants to be azn moar than anything in this world. Since the science to change ones ethnicity has yet to be created, she proceeds to be an ugly american who turns a society and culture into a fashion accessory.
Vanessa tries her best to become friends with as many azns as she can, especially ones with connections to Japan. Not only because she thinks this somehow makes her cooler, but so she can mooch off of them and crash in their closets when she saves up enough of her cock sucking money to get a ticket to visit the country.
She spouts Engrish quicker than Tubgirl shits and is always going on about how something is kawaii. She will write entries in her journal in Japanese. Not in kanji, but with English letters, making her look even more like a desperate, uneducated, basement dwelling weeaboo.
[edit] I'm Crazy!!1!
Vanessa likes to tell people just how different and crazy she is. Not crazy as in smearing her feces on her tits and babbling about leprechauns, but crazy in a "beautiful and unique" way. Much like Japanese culture, she has turned "being crazy" into a fashion accessory and will try to act as outlandish and retarded as she can to earn cool points.
If she was actually diagnosed, instead of simply show-boating, she probably would be certifiable given how rich and lush with material her fantasy world in her head is. She claims to be friends with Dr. Steel, Marilyn Manson, Slip Knot, Jeffree Star and other "celebrities".
On her MTV's The Real World Casting profile, she claims to be a "good friend" of Marilyn Manson, and that he "whisked" her off to LA so she could appear in his "Heart Shaped Glasses" music video.
[edit] Examples of Faggotry
- Vanessa acts like a typical Internet model and is an unprofessional whore.
- According to her ModelMayhem profile, she is an avid cutter and proud of it too. She claims that she is willing to not only cut herself for stress relief, but to be edgy and artistic. Unfortunately it is not to become an hero.
- She claims to have had operatic vocal training since she was seven years old, but this video isn't as melodic as she likes to think it is.
- In an interview in 2004, she said she didn't think Suicide Girls was porn just because there wasn't any "penetration" and that it was simply erotic photography.
- She has herpes. She is slowly giving it to the entire state of New Mexico.
- She says she'll do fetish photography, but refuses to do S&M... which is exactly what most people are talking about when they mention fetish photography.
- She claims that Suicide Girls won't archive her because she "makes them too much money", but the fact of the matter is they bribed her to testify against Gods Girls in court, thus earning herself a shiny new contract that binds them from putting her in the archive.
- Despite being nothing without Suicide Girls (as evident by her new solo career), she bad mouths them every chance she gets.
- She'll brag about being in an ad for PETA and how they picked her for it and loved her, but the fact of the matter is, if it wasn't for Suicide Girls PETA wouldn't have given two shits about her. They didn't even care who she was, just as long as she was an SG.
- Amina Munster is a contract Suicide Girl. Unlike Vanessa, this is because she is a viable tool for the site and didn't weasle her way into a posh contract by lying in court. Amina is also an amputee. HAWT. [1] [2]
- She claimed to date a member of Dir En Grey, but that his manager made him dump her because he didn't think dating "a famous american model" would be good for his clients image. Keep dreaming, Vanessa.
- She said the stress of her breakup with Die caused her to miscarry his baby. In actuality, her brother falcon punch'd her in the womb to rid her of their incestuous lovechild.
- She's stirred up a shit storm at ModelMayhem (not that difficult, but I digress) by posting her prom night abortion picture-- excuse me, "miscarriage". Instead of simply saying "First Amendment/Art/STFU" she tried to justify it by saying that she had a miscarriage herself and that it looked "exactly" like the picture, so everyone should shut up. Apparently when you miscarriage the almost fully formed fetus plops face first into the toilet... More shit storm followed when she also tried to use the same circumstance to get pity points.
| —Vanessa |
[edit] See Also
[edit] Links
- CartFly account
- Flickr account
- tequiladaniels
- ModelMayhem profile
- Myspace profile
- Suicide Girls profile
- VanessaAlexandra.com you might want to shoot yourself in the head after, the navigation is too obscured, the graphics are nonsensical and the background noises make me want to drop another bomb on Japan
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Vanessa Alexandra is part of a series on Whores. |
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