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Las Vegas

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Las Vegas for tourists.

Las Vegas is a town founded Last Thursday. Nobody really cares how or why, least of all the people who live there; they are too busy scampering for shelter from the 105 degree heat. It is common knowledge that nobody has ever been born in Las Vegas, and nobody ever leaves. They mean to, but never get around to it; Las Vegans don't do well outside of the city, as they are used to having everything open 24/7. A closed sign infuriates them.

Japanese visitor in traditional oriental attire to Las Vegas; note the vacant stare.

This, despite the fact that everybody from Japan has been to Las Vegas at least once, which makes the place even more unlivable.

Las Vegas' population consists of prostitutes, nigras, old people and Whoopi Goldberg. Las Vegas is also home to one of the West Coast's largest populations of methamphetamine users, as well as the notorious Black Cloud, both of whom are always a source of lolz. Due to its high concentration of porn, all you can eat buffets (leading to fatties) and 24/7 lifestyle, Las Vegas is a frequent source of IRL drama, and Las Vegans themselves live for it. It doesn't help that Vegas is so hot, residents do nothing but sit on the computer all summer. This is because they are secretly reptilian, basking in the light of the sun to warm their cold blood and stay alive.

The few Natives of Vegas absolutely hate Californians and Mormons for moving into their city and raising mortgage fees. If they had greater numbers they would wage war with California and Utah. They also hate their neighbors who have had Oregon plates on their car since 2005 and secretly wish to call the DMV on them as revenge for their bitching to the HOA about their trash cans and brown grass.

Las Vegas is home to Defcon each year. But frankly it doesn't matter what city Defcon is in, because having the event 3 blocks from the strip is JUST TOO FAR AWAY to walk.

A bachelor party trip to Las Vegas will always end in drama, typically involving massive amounts of narcotics and/or a breakup scene accompanied by shitty 80s music.

Note: very few Las Vegans are actually Vegans.