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Terri Schiavo

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Dhurr... Dhurr... More Protein Paste, doctor!.
Dhurr... Dhurr... More Protein Paste, doctor!.
Having finally triumphed in the courts, Michael inputs the appropriate secret code.
Having finally triumphed in the courts, Michael inputs the appropriate secret code.
Image Macro found on the Internets shortly after Terri's demise.
Image Macro found on the Internets shortly after Terri's demise.
Terri Schiavo at feeding time.
Terri Schiavo at feeding time.

Terri Schiavo was a former ana/mia who went into a persistent vegetative state after a fit of thinspiration. This was caused by cardiac arrest brought on by an electrolyte imbalance due to her eating disorder. Her husband, Michael Schiavo, wanted to kill her because he doesn't like the idea of voyeuristic nurses, as the chance of being seen having sex with his vegetable wife in a hospice was too great. Though she had been removed from the feeding tube, there were rumors that she seemed to be getting some sustenance after her husband's visits.

Schiavo had been a great source of lulz during March of 2005. Her feeding tube was inserted and removed constantly over the years, and it required the courts and Congress to intervene, and various communities to have Schiavo-thons over that last month.

Good ol' boy Jesse (moar liek JEWsse, amirite?) Jackson even piped in to get his face back in the national media. Arriving in a white stretch limo he made a brief speech saying that it was inhumane to not even give her water, or ice for her chapped lips, and damn, can't the bitch get have a slurpee?

On October 15, 2003 the Florida legislature passed and Florida Governor Jeb Bush signed "Terri's Law," which named her the official state vegetable of Florida.

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Terri Schiavo was permabanned IRL on 31 March, 2005. Her parents immediately returned to court for the right to control the body. They plan to re-animate the body with hydraulic motors after previously rejecting a Haitian priests offer to perform a zombie resurrection ceremony as being against her catholic beliefs. Her husband may allow both though in order that he has a zombie cyborg for his needs.

On 15 June, 2005, the internets went berzerk when the autopsy reports said what the husband was saying all along - she was just a no good two dollar whore.


March 31 2005- Eternity : Terri Schiavo's soul -burning in hell. (lolz 2 taht)

14 June 4365: Terry Schiavo is resurrected by Omegra-thong, dark alien lord of Neopets-controlled earth. In order to extract more spinal fluid from lethargic, corporate-controlled humans, he changes Schiavo into a freaky vampire ghost-whore who is to star in many animes.

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