Virginia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Virginia is the home of at least 100 total perverts and has endless supplies of 12 year old girls and 40 year old virgins. All are engaged in making pr0n so they can keep pace with the monetary and financial status of the rest of the free world. The age of consent is 14 here, so have fun.
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History
From then until last Thursday, Virginia was home to inbred rednecks who owned slaves on tobacco plantations. Back in the old days, Virginia and West Virginia were one state. They split into two over Congress outlawing barebacking in 1862.
21st century
On April 16, 2007, VTech student Cho Seung-Hui shot and killed 31 of his fellow students before self-pwning. The police could not initially identify who Cho was, because he shot his own face off.
Last Thursday, a group of high school students in Virginia were arrested and pwned by the FBI on heroin charges. OH LAWDY. They went to the same high school as Cho had. Just remember, the codeword is "Banana".
Geography
The Virginia of today has two regions: northern Virginia (noVa), and real Virginia.
NoVa is a vibrant melting pot of Democratic voters who will all die clutching their cellphones in the next harsh winter.
In real Virginia there are no towns, only rings of houses built around garbage dumps. Yeehaw! Virginia: come for the incest and stay for the pig-fucking!
The twin centers of public life are the local church and the grocery store. At the church, residents learn about the hellish fate awaiting all of the heretic homosexuals and Democrats. At the grocery store, typically a Bloom's, shoppers and clerks operate at the flow rate of molasses.
Arlington
This is where the Pentagon is located. Pwned on 9/11.
Charlottesville
"C-ville", as it is known to its denizens, is in noVa and is the site of the University of Virginia (Chris-chan is currently enrolled at this college). Everyone else is rich and shops at Whole Foods. UVA students are allowed to walk in front of cars and the cars have to stop! Friday nights feature Prius drag races in front of the college. Black teenagers are allowed to beat up UVA students and are encouraged to wear matching white T-shirts to deter identification. Thomas Jefferson lived here so the town's drug of choice is crack.
Langley
This is where the Central Intelligence Agency is headquartered. It is also one of the places China/Iran/Russia will nuke because of said agency, commencing World War III.
Richmond
Capital of Virginia. Full of historic buildings. Not much internet relevance, however.
Stafford
The cutoff point for noVa. Anything south of this town is filled with incest, bestiality, and general dumbfuckery. Anything north of it is either the poor AIDS infested niggers of DC, the dipshits that rule noVa, or their spic slaves.
Contrary to common belief, there is quite a bit to do in Stafford. The whores are quite common, many are in high school, and they will welcome you to their homes for a little rub and tug.
Fredericksburg
This shit-hole town of faggotry is filled with yuppies, AIDS, tourists, wiggers, emos and is the future site of the National Nigger Museum (always under construction, because niggers took all the money for crack, bitches, PCP and 40 oz of Colt 45.
Fredericksburg has an Indie Music scene, which sucks ass, because it's always the same 4 bands. The best place to get coffee is Hyperion, because the Starbucks are run by faggots who jizz in the lattes.
Fredericksburg is also the site of many events that happened at least 100 years ago. approximately over 9000 civil war troops died of AIDS and STDs, as well as some actual battles here. There are 2 cemeteries, the National Cemetary and the Confederate Cemetery. of these, the National Cemetery is the most fun to go smoke weed in at night, because it is not routinely patrolled by the local Nazi Police Force.
The University Of Mary Washington is here, and it has a 70-30 ratio of women to men. It is the best place to find drunk chicks all to willing to get raped on a Saturday night.
Thomas Jefferson went to a local bar here and snorted a line of coke and wrote the Declaration of Independence at least 100 years ago.
Hampton Roads
According to Hampfags: Hampton Roads is one of the least shitty places in the state of Virginia. We have a motherfucking BEACH, bitch. Norfolk even has a huge fucking naval base! Portsmouth (P-town) is full of niggers, but doesn't have anything cool in it and if you go you'll probably just get raped. Virginia Beach ... well, it's a fucking beach, what more do you want? Hampton Roads is also well known for its well-designed, efficient system of tunnels which ensures everyone gets to work on time.
According to the rest of Virginia: There is no Hampton Roads, only a bunch of tourist traps created by rednecks wanting to make a quick buck from the military bases and the poor souls unfortunate enough to be stationed there. They wish they were in noVa, but being nowhere near Washington, DC, cannot pull off the accent well enough to fool anyone. If it weren't for stupid and desperate military men looking for whores, this area would be nothing more than a speck on the map (like the rest of Virginia).
The Truth about Hampton Roads is that it has traffic that is almost as bad as Northern Virginia. You will spend approximately six years in various traffic jams caused by VDOTS's eternal roadwork that is set up just to spend fucking money.
Notable Hampfags
- White_Paw
- PETA Headquartered in Norfolk
- Michael Vick from Newport News?
Ruckersville
This cowtown wouldn't be noticeable or worthy of attention if not for the fact that Chris-chan the ass-pie currently resides here with his parents.
Notable Natives
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