From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Back in the mid-'90s Nintendo came out with this... this... We are still not completely sure what the Virtual Boy is even today.
[edit] The Setup
One sexy machine.
In 1994,
Nintendo announced it was working on a device that would let
lusers everywhere experience virtual
sex in the comfort of their living rooms. This of course made the joy of
13-year-old boys everywhere. Dubbed the Virtual Boy, it would then provide the user with a variety voluptuous "virtual mates" to
experience with. This of course, was but a deception from the machine's true nature...
[edit] The Deception
The day it came out, people drove in flocks to specialized retailers everywhere in hopes of acquiring this wonderful promise of virtual lust. Little did they know that it was in fact just another unfunny gaming system... Or was it? Upon trying it, people complained of dizziness, headaches, nausea, sudden miscarriage, depression, abdominal pain, diarrhea, loss of appetite, loss of sleep, hallucinations, dementia, diabeetus ... The list went on and on. Some people even self-diagnosed that they were struck with Asperger's syndrome and Hands Made of Silly Puddy.
[edit] The Truth
Goatse as seen through the Virtual Boy.
So
what the fuck went wrong you ask? Well, actually the Virtual Boy was never meant to be a virtual
sex simulator, nor a gaming system. It was in fact an infernal device developed in tandem by
Nintendo and
an unidentified German man, and unbeknownst to it's user it would project subliminal 3D images of
goatse,
hai2u and
lemonparty directly into their
brains. Why they did it? What were the obscure motives behind such deviance, such calculated evil? When finally taken into trial for their actions, the involved parties revealed their true motive in a shocking statement: "
We did it for the lulz!" The jury, the judge and the defense all
lol'd, and dropped the charges.
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