Bad Vlad

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

He knows you're reading this. He'll know if you try to edit anything. He will carefully read your changes.

Vladimir Vladimirovich "Vlad" Putinovich, born at least 100 years ago, was the Dictator of Russia and now Prime Minister, and leading advocate for the legalization of Communism and Global Domination. He's co-creator of the website RussiaFTWamericaSUX.ru. In 2012, he is set to officially become Russia's Tsar.

Biography

At first I was like...

But then I was like...

Putin is always relevant.

Vlad was born in Mother Russia, lives in Mother Russia and breathes Mother Russia.

Upon popping out of his mother's Russian womb, he joined the KGB and immediately took control of a cancerous nation suffering from post Soviet collapse traumatic BAWWWWWW.

Badassery

Vladimir Putin took time out of his busy schedule as Autocrat of all the Russias to open a can of whoopass on a tiger which was attempting to eat a TV crew. No, seriously. Hopefully it was a furfag dressed up as a tiger who intended to yiff some Russians but instead got a well-deserved KGBeatdown. Regardless, it just goes to show how much more of a badass Vladdie is than the pussies who run your country.

Not only can Vladdie pwn tigers, he breaks it down 57% more efficiently then any other world leader in known history.

Of course some argue that anyone could kill a tiger with a huge assault rifle and 25 KGB agents at your disposal. Also in the video below you can see Vladdie is broadcasting from GAYKA.WS, which we know are the call letters for "GAY KGB Agents/Western Soviet".

Videos

In 2000 Larry King asked Vlad WTF was really happened with the Kursk submarine. Putin said (with a sarcastic smile): «Она утонула» (It sunk). His answer made Captain Obvious burst with envy.

Previous Video | Next Video

Artistry

Putin's painting is the less ugly object in the photo.

Vlad Vladimirovitch is recognized worldwide as a far better painter than Rembrandt's maid and van Gogh's cousin.

Since Putin is no longer the president of Russia, he has had more free time for a while, and he graciously chose to devote himself to fine arts. His first painting was unveiled in 2009. Due to the fact that the painting looked like a cross between puke on the pavement outside a pub, and crayon doodles of a retarded 5-year old who just downed a glass of vodka, it was instantly recognized as a masterful example of modern art and sold for over 1 million dollars to a rich Russian woman. While the common perception was that the buyer wanted to win Putin's favors in that way, an alternative explanation suggests that the woman purchased the painting to hide it, because, as ugly as it is, it's still less ugly than she is.

Hatred of journalists and anyone else who disses Vlad

A total of 47 journalists have been killed in Russia since 1992 for talking shit about Putin.

You don't actually have to be a journalist criticizing Putin to get thoroughly pwned by The Evil Vlad. It's enough to simply talk shit about Teh Vlad to bring his wrath upon yourself, and it will reach you, whoever and wherever you are. So, unless the concept of shitting and pissing out your intestines between howls of agony, or relaxing in the warmth of the Siberian sun appeals to you, anyone editing this page - feel fucking warned!

Pedophilia

Putin is sexually attracted to young boys.

Trivia

The REAL Tsar of Russia.

Pwning Georgia.

Measurements: 33-25-35 (in 1930).
According to his 1998 PLAYGIRL Magazine interview, in his youth, Putin posed nude for an artist, who carved a statue of him that was placed in a public spot in Miami. After the interview appeared, people from Miami searched for the statue in vain.
Once ate 14 hot dogs in one sitting.
During his presidency, managed to humiliate George Bush on a number of occasions, which indicated Russian supremacy over Americans, but Bush can prove that on his own.
Tsar Putin is one of Russia's best leaders.
When not killing FBI agents Putin enjoys poisoning birds.
Has a black belt in judo, was a judo champion in St. Petersburg, and last Thursday he released an instructional judo DVD.
His average dinner consists of a can of whoop ass and a glass of vodka.
His surname loosely translates as "vagina" in Armenian
Chuck Norris is a fan of Putin.
Putin killed Rasputin's Zombie with his thumb.
Vladimir's family name (Putin, for the newfags) has the same sound as poutine, which is a crappy mess of fat food from Canada.

Putin Cash

Hey World Leaders,

My name is Vladimir, and I'm better than every single one of you. All of your peoples are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day working in the service industry and fighting wars over oil. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever worked for the KGB? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of the Russian Federation's people because of your countries' pitifully inadequate natural resources, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than terrorist activity in Chechnya.

Don't be a democracy. Just submit to the Russian bear. I'm pretty much perfect. I was President of Russia for two terms, and Prime Minister of Russia and still completely in control. What offices have you held, other than "puppet leader of 51st state of America"? I also get unanimous support from my own people, and have an averagely hot wife (She just blew me; but my mistresses are much better at that). You are all failures who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my wife.

Gallery

What, you thought he was exempt from 34?

What'll we do tomorrow Bad Vlad?	A world leader not afraid to show some skin, also notable for his fishing.	It's an in joke, get it?	Camhorsky
Vladamir Poo-Tin	YEEAAAAHH	How does Medvedev suck Putin's cock.	Vlad kicked ass during the Battle of Hastings.
Nigra Putin, also known as Obama.	Putin and his boss.	Lulz.	Fuckin otaku.
Still a weeaboo. Prove me wrong.	100% accurate depiction.	In Soviet Russia...