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Vladimir Putin

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One of his lovers
One of his lovers
A world leader not afraid to show some skin.
A world leader not afraid to show some skin.
Putin is always relevant.
Putin is always relevant.

Vladimir Vladimirovich "Vlad" Putinovich, born at least 100 years ago, is the current Dictator of Russia and leading advocate for the legalization of pedophilia and necrophilia. He's co-creator of the website Necrobabes. [1]

Contents

[edit] Biography

Vlad was born in Miami, FL, to a wealthy family. He spent his childhood here, where he enjoyed the sun and the palms of the city.

Openly gay at a time when it was daring to be so, he was well known for his flamboyant lifestyle, his vulgar sense of humor, and his penchant for perfume and costume jewelry. He performed in some plays before emigrating to Moscow in the late 1920s. He also performed in drag frequently.

In 1929, while working as a drag/burlesque entertainer, he claimed to have been visited by visions of a dead ancestor, Olga Whorevovich, who told him he had to fuck corpses.

He continued his theatrical career throughout the 1930s, the 1940s, and the 1950s. In 1961, Vlad was recruited into the KGB and also became a member of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, where he made love to almost every dead comrade who had been declared a dissident.

[edit] Trivia

  • Measurements: 33-25-35 (in 1930).
  • Had a brief affair with actor Hal Le Sueur.
  • According to his 1998 PLAYGIRL Magazine interview, in his youth, Putin posed nude for an artist, who carved a statue of him that was placed in a public spot in Miami. After the interview appeared, people from Miami searched for the statue in vain.
  • Once ate 14 hotdogs in one sitting.
  • Portrayed by Kathy Griffin in the play "Corpses Are Forever".
  • When not raping decaying bodies, Putin enjoys poisoning ex-KGB agents
  • His average dinner consists of lettuce, a living chihuaha, and a small glass of vodka.
  • His surname loosely translates as "whore" in spanish.
  • A fan of Ted Kaczynski's writings.
  • Commissioned two sexy wymins to sing a song called "Takogo Kak Putin", where they longingly compare their abusive alcoholic boyfriends to the virile superman who is Vlad Putin.
  • When asked about his reputed love of big black dick, Putin responded "Reputed? Hell no! Bring it on bitches!"

[edit] Putin Cash

Hey World Leaders,

My name is Vladimir, and I'm better than every single one of you. All of your peoples are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day working in the service industry and fighting wars over oil. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever worked for the KGB? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of the Russian Federation's people because of your countries' pitifully inadequate natural resources, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than terrorist activity in Chechnya.

Don't be a democracy. Just submit to the Russian bear. I'm pretty much perfect. I was President of Russia for two terms, and Prime Minister of Russia and still completely in control. What offices have you held, other than "puppet leader of 51st state of America"? I also get unanimous support from my own people, and have an averagely hot wife (She just blew me; but my mistresses are much better at that). You are all failures who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my wife

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[edit] External Links

[edit] See also

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