Virginia
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Virginia is the home of at least 100 highly intelligent people who are highly productive and desperatly try to make up for the rest of Virginia by producing shit nobody cares about. Most of the inhabitants get off by saying that they are big supporters of the military, because they work at a ship yard that makes up 90% of the industry in North VA.
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[edit] Bullcrap
at least 100 years ago, Virginia and West Virginia were one giant mishappen state, and split off into two states, I guess for the lulz. It doesn't make a very good story.
Virginia and its Sexual Counterpart were both re-named due to them attracting to much men because of the old name "Virgina" and "Counterpart Virgina".
Virginia is also the home to the giant faggot Heatcipher, who claims not to be a nigra. However, recent evidence has been discovered that he plays Counter-Strike with his nigga C-NOTE.
[edit] History
At least 100 years ago a bunch of unsuccessful gay prostitutes decided they needed a new customer base. They forced a drunken pedophile named Captain John Smith to steal a ship and take them to Holland where their beliefs could flourish. Unfortunately Smith took a wrong turn and they ended up landing in a swamp full of hippies and 16 year old girls. Most of them starved to death because there wasn't room on the ship for food after loading all of their vibrators and anal beads. Not deterred, the colonists started trading blow jobs for food and a couple managed to survive the winter. Eventually they gave all the natives AIDS which inspired them to create America. People in West Virginia like to have their tiny cocks sucked by jews.
Modern day nigger dance:
Captain Smith looks for love.
[edit] Today
Basically Virginia is not the North, and its not the South. But it's got everything you never wanted from both. We look down on Alabama, but that's about it.
[edit] Geography
Virginia is divided into two regions: Northern Virginia, and Siberian Wastes.
[edit] Northern Virginia
[edit] Geography
Northern Virginia (Nova) is like the somewhat-clingy girl you knew in high school who was best friends with the most popular girl in the class and managed to get a few dates because of it. It is an area, measuring approximately five square miles, that hugs tightly to the Potomac River and thus has been able to siphon off some of Maryland's economic prosperity. Many Novates are under the mistaken impression the bordering Prince George's County is part of Northern Virginia, but goddamn it, it isn't! Most residents commute to Washington D.C. for work and whenever they're out of town, they tell people they're from there, yet when they really meet someone from D.C., it's a different story- it's actually pretty embarrasing to admit that one comes from good ole' Virginny (yes that's actually the souther name for it. Fucking Virginny.)
See: Liar.
Nova can also be described as the suburb blocks. Last Thursday, at least 100 people moved to Northern Virgina. As a result, houses are expensive there; they cost something like $ 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 each, and apartments cost $ 10,000,000,000,000,000,000 each. But the people who live in these suburbs (such as Cashburn or Western Loudoun) are rich. Most of them are Jews, Indians, or fucktard Republicans.
However, Nova is also the only areas in the state that has been penetrated by the Democrats. As such, a favorite local past time is taking bus trips to Maryland to beg for annexation to Maryland, or failing that, a quick death. This coincides nicely with the Maryland tradition of burning Richmond, the peice-of-shit state capital.
Lastly, Nova is mostly comprised of wiggers, Indians, azns and over 9000 Mexicans. Most of the niggers in this area wish they were New Yorkers and often claim to be from Anywhere else in the country. (New York.)
[edit] School Systems
When it snows more than two centimeters the poorly laid out road system will become a nightmarish, apocalyptic wasteland of overturned Escalades and dead teenage girls still clutching their cell phones.
For serious, just this year schools were left open for snow, and closed for RAIN. RAIN GODDAMNIT.
Recently, about 2,000,000 dollars were siphoned off Nova schools to pay for SouVa kid's gold teeth.
[edit] Economy
The Novates supply the entire state with Jew gold and intelligence and in return get spic slaves.
[edit] Hampton Roads
Hampton Roads is the part of Virginia that most people from Northern Virginia dick suck and talk about. Although much of Hampton Roads is gay white boys and poor people, it owns much of the US when it comes to bitches.
Hampton Roads is emblematic of shitty America. No buildings are more than three stories, and all they have are strip malls. Also, a few shitty colleges, like CNU, which is where Northern Virginia kids who can't get into UVA, William and Mary, or GMU go. It is also the college of choice for those who do not live in Northern Virginia.
Virginia Beach is the key city in this area and is populated by niggers, geeks, and 16 year old girls. On Saturdays the streets are covered in vomit. Norfolk is a shitty ghetto with a big nigger and wigger problem. This is the only place in Virginia that anyone in the world gives a fuck about.
Williamsburg, while not technically part of the Hampton Roads area, is not a Barren Wasteland, so much as a place where Amerikkkans go to learn about their roots and heritage, ignoring the fact that nothing of importance happened there. It is part of the Jew plot to make Americans say "lol we're #1" while pretending to learn something about what life was like back when smallpox was the good type of pox. Generally, people claim that a trip there is educational, when in fact it is an excuse to go to Busch Gardens and get shit faced.
There are a lot of military people there. This means that, contrary to Northern Virginia, a lot of Republicans live here. Mexicans are starting to populate the area. Macaca is starting to populate as well. That is why people from Hampton Roads elect George Allen.
Hampton Roads has the beach. The surf beaches are pretty nice. Hampton Roads also has some pretty kick ass restaurants, such as Plaza Azteca, a popular cultist Mexican chain. Yes, we realize this makes no sense. Plaza Azteca is the kind of place that fucktarded Americans go to think that they are multicultural. Dive dressed up as not a dive dressed up as a dive.
If you are not a rich white person in this area, you are severely fucked. Everyone else is either in the military or on welfare or both.
Cool faggots like Allen Iverson and world champion dog fighter Michael Vick are from this area.
After demolishing the mall in Hampton, all of the niggers started to migrate to the mall in Newport News, which before this mass migration of nigras, was only populated by emos and goths who played DDR ar Tilt and shopped at Hot Topic
Typical day in da hood:
The Streets are also full of shitty wanna-be-azn ricers.
[edit] Barren Wasteland
Outside of Loudoun and Fairfax counties and Hampton Roads, Virginia starts to look less pretty. Excessive inbreeding has led to the creation of a race of mutant savages. These Neanderthals live in clusters of huts, such clusters usually holding no more than twenty-five people.
Hobbies include wife-beating (the official state sport), child-beating (a close second), lynching, praying to photographs of George W. Bush, and, of course, witch-burning.
The two centers of public life are the local church, where residents can learn about the Hellish fate awaiting all of the heretic homosexuals and Democrats; and the grocery store, typically a Food Lion, where shoppers move at approximately the speed of molasses and clerks operate at a rate no quicker than that of smoke rising off of shit.
Every town has the mandatory white trash, nigras, and one AZN family. No matter what, the AZN family will run a Chinese food restaurant. They all suck ass.
Occasionally, someone in Virginia will bomb a church, but this is considered to be alright as long as the KKK approved it first. Attacks on abortion clinics are okay, as well, and the perpetrators are definitely not terrorists. As everybody knows, terrorists can't be white.
There is a town called Goochland there. I'm not fucking joking.
The Virginia mutants have joined with similar creatures in Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Tennessee, and elsewhere, to form a subhuman league. They refer to themselves as, "Southerners."
Residents of Barren Wasteland enjoy chanting, "Death to Maryland!" and screaming the phrase, "God's Vengeance!" when their Northern neighbor sinks under 200 feet of snow in the winter and a few people die because the heat went out.
Barren Wasteland has never quite gotten over the whole Civil War thing, and they're waiting for the order from George W. Bush so that they can cross the Potomac, or, in the words of one Virginian, "Go up North and kill all the Democrats. Them and their fancy computers, and their readin', and their soap. They think they're better than us? Well, diggity-dang, I'll fuckin' shoot 'em!"
[edit] Climate
Virginia is designated by the United States government at the hottest place on Earth. The average June temperature is 15,000 degrees Fahrenheit, while the average January temperature is 82. A freak wind will occasionally blow some snow flakes from Maryland across the Potomac and into Northern Virginia, which is one of the main reasons the Virginia General Assembly is currently debating the idea of removing the northernmost counties from Richmond's jurisdiction and granting them sovereignty as a 51st state, tentatively to be named, "Maryland's Bitch" or "Doesn't Count as Virginia Anymore Land."
[edit] Notable Natives
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