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Why do you hate America?

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The American Bald Eagle... that isn't bald to begin with, dumbfucks. This image goes perfect with this phrase.
The American Bald Eagle... that isn't bald to begin with, dumbfucks. This image goes perfect with this phrase.
No srsly, we will fuckin' do it... Just ask Iraq and Afghanistan.
No srsly, we will fuckin' do it... Just ask Iraq and Afghanistan.

Also known as "Why do you hate freedom?," this is the only correct response to any statement which implies the United States might be responsible for anything negative. Yeah right...

Contents

[edit] The Answer

Image:America.jpg

This image asks many questions, least of which is why does he hate America?
This image asks many questions, least of which is why does he hate America?

[edit] History

The phrase "Why do you hate America?" was born after a mother lost her son to the ravaging African disease we now know as elephantiasis. America Johnson was a college athlete and had a 3.0 GPA average. He was a community pillar, and often volunteered as the May pole during May Day celebrations. Eventually, like any emotional tragedy, his story began to be used by conservative senators attempting to rally popular opinion to themselves; however, because he was black they often didn't bother to mention who he was in case one of their friends found out they kind of didn't think African-Americans niggers were so bad.

[edit] Lulz

"Why do you hate America?" can be used in any context - and, in fact, the more ridiculous the context, the better the phrase works. Examine these examples for rudimentary tips on how to hate America like the pros:

...and on, and on, and on. There is literally no end to hating America.

This includes arguments about who had the better empire: BRITAIN or the UNITED STATES. If a Brit criticises America, he is assumed to be immediately referring to this question. Which is dumb cos everyone knows the British Empire was way better lost a war against several potato farmers. the US never had an empire. that no matter what answer you give you'll look like a whiny cunt.

[edit] Variations

  • Why do you hate Freedom and/or Democracy?
  • Why do you want our troops to die?
  • Why do you spit on the legacy of our Founding Fathers?
  • Why do you hate innocent children?
  • Why do you like France?

Combos get extra points.

[edit] Other Statements that can be used to cause drama and get banned

  • America should kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out
  • Why do fags hate america?
  • Are you a jew?
  • Are you a paultard?
  • Obama is a muslim nigger
  • Blacks are responsible for crime and poverty
  • Women can't run countries
  • Jews did WTC
  • Hitler was a pretty cool guy
  • Not all Nazis are bad.
  • Ron Paul can still win
  • Libertarians hate america
  • Liberals hate america
  • Librarians hate america
  • anarchists hate america
  • Communists hate america
  • Only neocons love america and know what is best.
  • All fags are pedophiles
  • All pedophiles are fags
  • I vote republican.
Image:Little Troll.gif Why do you hate America? is part of a series on Trolls.

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