Marriage
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Marriage is an IRL meme designed by Christians to ruin your life. You get nailed to an annoying whiney bitch or emo fag for the rest of your life unless you're smart and in it for the money.
Contents |
Steps in Trailer Park Courtship and Marriage
- Man meets a slut on the street
- Woman notices that man has money, so she woos the pathetic man.
- Man bangs up woman, who then sleeps with another guy who doesn't suffer from impotence. She then gets pregnant.
- Man feels guilty, so gets engaged so he can help raise the child.
- Man gets shackled to his new ball 'n' chain in a ceremony known as marriage.
- Women saps mans wealth, youth, and joy for her own.
- Man finds out his bitch was cheating on him, so he pwns her, generating many lulz - but she was asking for it. He goes to prison and gets raped by Bubba.
- ?????
- PROFIT!
Steps in Geek Courtship and Marriage
- Basement-dweller meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer Fangirl in #buffy IRC channel
- Basement-dweller is awestruck by Fangirl's eloquent and heart-wrenching fanfiction
- He sends her anonymous virtual roses from the LiveJournal gift shop
- Fangirl gushes effusively to her friends list about her exciting virtual flowers, and wonders, at length and visibly, who they are from
- Basement-dweller finally drops a subtle hint in his own LiveJournal
- They take it to MSN and he asks for pictures plz and she sends pictures infected with internet disease
- They announce they are in love to their respective friends lists
- An online wedding is planned. The fact that he is a 13-year-old boy and she is an 80 year old Chinese man in panties seems entirely irrelevant.
- mmmmmmmmmmm http://mismarriage.ytmnd.com/
- ?????
- PROFIT!
How To Beat Your Wife
If your wife gets too uppity, beating her is a completely appropriate way to keep her in line. The Saudis explain the proper way to do this:
Exit Plan
In every young man's life, he’ll wake to find himself with his girlfriend acting in a very 16-year-old-girl way. Vaguely through the worst hangover of his life, the sketchy memory of asking his girlfriend to marry him in some drunken mad plan to get a sex is dragged screaming to the forefront of his mind.
There are many elaborate plans to get out of this situation such as suicide for example; however a simple fast and painless way to exit is to upload those romantic movies you made together to yuvutu. Then over a romantic celebratory dinner explain that now you have the deepest love for each other, you have decided to share that love with the whole world making it a better place for your first wife to live.
Ways to GTFO of a Marriage
- Divorce
- Kill the bitch
- Kill the bitch and her family
- Be like Kevin Federline
- An hero
- File for divorce, kill her and her family, but forge document to make it look like they were secretly in a cult that made them kill themselves
Celebrities and Marriage
It has been seen countless times in the media. Whenever a famous actor is accused of being gay, he quickly reacts and finds the most whorish woman to marry. Quickly, they "consummate" their marriage, usually out of the country. When they come back, the allegations disappear! Score!
Tom Cruise is a major offender of this.
Gay Marriage
Why Gay marriage should be illegal.
See also
- I got married last weekend
- Marry Your Favorite Character Online
- Alternative: Marry Your Pet
- If you get divorced, your wife makes the court have you pay $2000 a month, but you got laid off, can't get unemployment, have to pay another $2700 on mortgage, and have no money at all, then there is only one thing to do.
