Woman

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Advice worthy of a PROTIP.

DYNAMIC ENTRY!

Though debated otherwise by some feminists, women are NOT people. They are far less intelligent than a man, and are genetically inferior. Men are entitled to pussy, and just because it is attached to a woman that doesnt mean they have rightful control of it. Plus, it is scientific fact that women are always asking for it. A man's greatest attribute is his physical strength which he uses against women because it is the only way they'll learn. Women also don't make decisions as well as men do because they are on their period almost all the time.

[edit] Correct Viewpoint

MAEK SAMMICH NAOW!

This is an actual reaction from a woman to this page. Notice how she shares the same expression as the dog.

The viewpoint of most Christians and other normal people who recognize the obvious is that God created "man" in his own image, meaning, with a cock. Man was lonely, so God created something for him to put his cock in. And (of course) God created something with a womb to make babies. Thus, everyone called the female race "womb-man" because that is their purpose: a womb for babies, and a pleasure hole for the man. They do, of course, have other uses, which range from washing the dishes to drying the dishes to watching Life-affirming television. The other major way to use a woman is to rid her vile presence from the planet, in honor of Marc Lépine.

If you do decide to begin a relationship with a woman but are actually using her for a moist place to insert your cock, she will start leading you to insanity and force you to become emo.

[edit] A Real Man's Guide to the Inferior Species

[edit] Maintaining Your Woman

The difference between what women think and what actually happens

Nice try, but you were doomed from the start.

Woman are so vastly inferior to men that they require a unique method of sustaining their lifespan. Although not recognized by some, women require pain to be inflicted to their bodies with a fist, or open hand if you're a pussy. The woman's brain will respond to pain in different ways depending on the part of the body receiving the kind gesture. Because most women are so inferior, they will not understand the kind act you will bestow upon them, thus responding negatively to some acts of re-energizing, but no worries, there are simple ways to prevent their annoying response, as well as techniques to make your attempt of kindness flow flawlessly. Trust me, they will thank you for it later. They'll soon forget anyway.

[edit] Fights with women

Women will often have verbal fights with men, so that they can either feel powerful, try to deny a man his rightful use of her vagina or simply because they like drama, losing battles and being revenge-fucked. An interesting article goes on about the many ways men might try to fight back with women, but we all know the proper way is to tell her once, and if that doesn't work, tell her twice, and then send her to the kitchen with two black eyes to make you a fucking sammich.

[edit] Obtaining a Woman

The fact that you read this probably means that you have never had sex with a woman. Ever. Here is what you have to do:

• Looks are everything when it comes to women. If you don't look like an androgynous celebrity that's 30 pounds underweight, then... well, you're not getting a woman. Ever.
• If you think women give two shits about personality, you clearly haven't been around very many females. Lose some weight, fatty. Take up anorexia and they might just accept you.
• Get at least a basic sense of fashion and hygiene.
• Women will trade anything for chocolate. The down side is, chocolate will eventually make them fat
• Women like drama, and to get one you might have to pretend like you do too. Like, actually be able to express your emotions, you retard (yes, I know. It's hard. Hang in there, Fabio).
• Women have to be convinced that you are a natural leader before they are willing to have sex with you. Since you most likely aren't, you will have to pretend that you are for at least the 20 first dates, or she will choose someone with actual muscles and actual brains. Thankfully, there is help available.
• Don't be afraid to show your power over her by smacking her around when she steps out of line.
• Dominate her physically. Women (mostly low-self-esteemed-women) like the idea that a guy can't resist getting a little rough with them.
• Also, money. Lots and lots of your hard earned money might as well be set aflame because the money grubbing leeches will require all of it just so you can use their vaginas for a place to put your penis.

[edit] Normal Behaviors of women

Sho' wish ah knew how to read. O well it gots picturz

Daisy is sooo gonna get it!

Once you have found a suitable piece of property, you will need to know about certain attributes they poccess, in order to best keep your bitch in line.

• Women may look inside your wallet or any other place they suspect you may have money. You have to nip this in the bud and tell her if you catch her doing this, you will donkey punch her.
• Women may want to watch lifetime channel. BEWARE! If you let them watch this, they may think they're a victim! Dispose of this channel by any means necessary.
• Women may try to usurp your authority. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN! If they become your equal or your superior, they will never find you attractive again. BITCHSLAP THE HOE. Let her know who's boss.
• Women want expensive things. Not because they're high quality, but because all their friends have them. DO NOT fall into appeasing the bitch. Getting her what she wants only makes her demand more next time. Solve this by reciting the pimps prayer, then slapping that bitch.
• Women may expect you do your fair share of housework. Laugh at this suggestion and mention that you pay for everything and tell her to shut the fuck up and do what she does best. Cooking, Cleaning, Sex, Sandwiches.
• Women may ask for pocket money, if they've been a good fuck hole, then grant them some money. BUT if they ask for too much, slap her. Women are like children and need structure and discipline. They will try to get away with as much as they can, and it is your job to make sure they have structure in their lives.
• Women are natural freeloaders. Get used to never being appreciated for anything. To avoid this behavior, you have to deprive them of everything. Make them earn what they get, no matter how little it is. Do not marry a freeloader. She will divorce you and take half of all your stuff as well as everything you will ever obtain in the future.
• Once comfortable, women will make all sorts of demands. They think their vagina is the only fuckhole in the world. Prove them wrong by sleeping with their sister, or at least threaten to sleep with their sister or hot friend. Keep them on the defensive and mentally fuck with them.
• Women also get hyperjealous of anything that brings a man pleasure that is not them. For this reason, they are a leading cause of homosexuality.

[edit] Dangers

A mind mouth is a terrible thing to waste

There are numerous dangers inherent in any dealings with a woman. Apart from the usual dangers of encountering someone who is batshit crazy, the following perils have been observed:

• Under no circumstances do what a woman tells you she wants you to. You have to learn to sense what she wants , not what she says she wants.
• Many women are Attention Whores, who come with additional dangers.
• Though they don't have souls, they have an inner eye that can see into yours. Once that happens you may be able to fuck but you won't enjoy it. And she'll laugh.
• Women can explode on contact with an incorrectly configured Toilet Seat.
• Through a combination of mind control, drugging and boobies, many women attempt to coerce men into a form of servitude known as the "Friend Zone" or worse; marriage. Marriage is to be avoided at all costs for all involved, as it has all the drawbacks of a girlfriend only with less interesting or no sex.
• Said mind control will permanently turn you into a faggot in no time.
• Women will call the cops if you prove them right too much[. To fix this, aim for the back of the head. Cops can't see bruises if they're covered by hair!
• Women are all experts of some type of emotional wizardry, beware.
• Under any circumstances, do not let a woman drive.
• Never ever let them leave the kitchen!
• Do not let them read Cosmopolitan.
• Do not feed your woman as this will cause her to become fat. Women do not need to eat anyway because they obtain sustenance from attention.

[edit] Girls

Women are meant to be objectified

Fact: There are no girls on the internets.^{[no citation needed]}

Well, actually, that isn't really true anymore, since they seem to be popping up where you least expect and least want them. It went something like this:

1. There are no girls on the internets
2. There are no hot girls on the internets
3. There are no girls wanting me on the internets
4. This girl once wanted me on the internets, but turned out to be a gay filipino dude.

[edit] Girls Bathrooms

Whats up with girls bathrooms? Check it out!
Things to know:

• Girls bathrooms are big.
• Girls bathrooms are clean.
• Girls bathrooms are the opposite of your dick.
• 75% of girls vagina are bleeding at any given time.
• Most girls that spends time together have their period at around the same time. It's just easier to share pads if they go in a herd.

Women like to go in the bathrooms in packs so they can shit at the same time. They then like to talk about the juicy cock and serious issues . All while releasing their hot steamy piss from their vagina. No lie.

[edit] Achievements of Women

The most important thing that a woman has ever done to advance society has been the drawing of the Biting Pear of Salamcis art in the LOL WUT meme. Yes, it was drawn by a woman! That'll make you think twice before using it again... overused pic is indeed overused, in any case. Also, the idea of a women learning how to give oral sex was a phenomenon due to their inferior brains and in most cases(i would hope), a lack of a penis.

[edit] Quotes

[edit] Videos

A Documentary of the Stupidity of Women

Women Will Make You Facepalm

[edit] Gallery

example of a man A woman's 'personality' All they're good for. Going somewhere?

[Collapse Gallery] [Expand Gallery] 0

white girls love black cock Yahoo's finally going back to the traditions. What women are good for How to treat a woman. This woman is teaching geometry. She is clearly a witch. Women can be attracted using man smells If they walk out the kitchen, they best be on gaurd A wife: because beer is heavy NO WIMMINZ ON THE INTERNET! Keep women busy Women...Fail it. It's a man's world! Some women are never happy. A good woman always knows her place. Lazy bitch. Gb2work. gb2/kitchen/ How to configure your woman A woman in traditional headdress. Notice only the fattie and the buffie are :) This is what happens when girls go on the internet. A spirited debate on women's issues. They are doing it wrong. Even Wikipedia knows what a morning of crying is. A woman got pwned by cops. Some women think that having a camel toe will attract a man. They're doing it wrong.

[edit] See Also

• 16-year-old girl
• No girls on the internet
• Period
• Menstrual painting
• Misogyny

[edit] External Links

• Schopenhauer: On Women
• A great feminist website
• Exclusive Photo: Woman Driver Hits Deer, doesn't Notice