Xiaolin Showdown

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

FUCK YEAH! Xiaolin Showdown

Ain't nothin' but a bunch of Asian lolicons and jailbait here

Xiaolin Showdown is a racist cartoon show about some kids that have to gather Dragonballs to save the world from ten thousand years of darkness. They also have to collect magical artifacts called Shen Gong Wu, but who gives a flying fuck about those things? Nobody, that's who!

Same damn routine in every episode.

[edit] The Good Guys

[edit] Omi

Our main character. He has cancer (hence the yellow skin), is Wapanese, is electronically retarded, socially retarded, and retarded. He has a large yellow head with nine dots someone drilled into his head for anti-depression voodoo or something. His mom died from giving birth to him and his father died of AIDs, leaving Omi an emo orphan that will grow up only to kill himself. Oh, and his power is water.

[edit] Raimundo

A Mexican Jew from Africa. He enjoys not doing nearly as much work as everyone else on the team while expecting an equal amount of praise, just like a real mexican. When he gets on his period, he joins the bad guys and fucks up the entire planet but good in exchange for an arcade full of outdated games. When his period is over, he stops his shit and saves everybody, becoming the hero of the episode when it was HIM that fucked up everything in the first place. He is an attention whore, an asshole, and at the end of the series IT IS HE THAT BECOMES THE XIAOLIN DRAGON. OH FUCK, A SPOILER.

His power is wind because he eats tacos and burritos and sleeps all the time.

[edit] Kimiko

A girl from Tokyo and is every loli-pedophile's dream; she is Japanese, a rich bitch, changes her fucking hair and outfit all the time, and has all the fucking Asian technology a fat fuck like you could ever imagine and never have. Her power is fire because she PMSes a lot.

[edit] Clay

A 31 year-old cowboy who took one too many hooves to the skull and now hangs out with a bunch of annoying children and their pet lizard. He likes to rape the shit out of Raimundo and Jack Spicer (a gothic schizo). He has Down Syndrome, is from Texas where everybody is fucking retarded, his power is Earth because he is a fat fuck (like you), and nobody likes him because he fucks everything up on a daily bases (also like you.) He is son of George W. Bush and is George W. Bush's brother too.

[edit] The Bad Guys

Chase Young's real form

[edit] Jack Spicer

The most pathetic retard you'll ever see in this fucking show. He is whiny and has AIDs. He tries to be evil but fails, and he even fails at life and couldn't kill himself if he tried. He builds robots, but he builds them wrong and they all end up raping him...everywhere. Nobody can tell whether Jack is a boy or girl, but he fucking screams a lot. He looks a lot like that faggy spic Jhonen Vasquez, and is also a meme on 4chan mainly because he is just as pathetic as those other fat fucks that live in their parent's basement as he does.

Jack Spicer's power is heart, which the good guys willingly gave him in a clear and blatant attempt to mock him. Jack cried.

[edit] Ghost Wuya

A purple demon thing from hell that yells at people. Looking like a puff of marijuana smoke from the 1930's that got hold of a theater mask and stole your grandmother's voice, Wuya was supposed to be the most dangerous villainess in the series. This indicates that the good guys in this show are less of a force to be reckoned with than Pac Man.

Wuya's power is omitted for the sake of clarity.

[edit] Wuya (human form)

A bitchy witch and the only character with any boob in this show (except for the fat fucks and Jack Spicer). Upon getting a human form, Wuya dresses like Elvira, except she doesn't wear any shoes and has hair that looks like a praying mantis egg sack. She is after Shen Gong Wu and makes Jack her personal bitch to retrieve them for her. She never has periods because her eggs were removed at least 100 years ago and so she is suffering from menopause and takes it out on everybody.

At the end of the show, she is defeated when her body is repossessed after her checks to Vampyra begin bouncing.

Human Wuya's power is the closest thing to fanservice American cartoons will approach.

[edit] Chase Young

A pedophile that was born at least 100 years ago last Thursday. He is always on his period and can transform into a giant lizard. He loves soup filled with Dragonballs, which means he is constantly after the Xiaolin Apprentice's asses, (whatever the fuck you want that to mean). He wants to have sex with Omi, but as Omi always says, "CAN'T HAVE ANY, YOU SHIT." His presence in the show only makes Jack Spicer look even more pathetic, although there really has to be a bottom to that sort of thing somewhere.

Chase Young's power is having a name like a chain of banks.

[edit] Dark Vader

No one gives a fuck-ass flying rat's ass shit about him.

[edit] Other Characters Nobody Gives a Fuck About

Tubbimura

Jermaine is a nigger Jew from Mexico. He lives in the Ghetto, his friends are fucked up, he stole his own bike, and he plays basketball a lot.

Good Jack, is Jack Spicer's split personality gay side. He tries to help Jack Spicer come out of denial of his true faggotry, but fails and gets raped by everybody.

Katnappe, played by Halle Berry, went bankrupt after that fucking shitty movie of hers failed, and was forced to join Xiaolin Showdown. She steals things.

Master Fung is an asshole and bitches at the Xiaolin Apprentices when they are doing it wrong, or when they forget to feed him, or when he can't find his tampons. He's very old.

Tubbimura, a fat fuck that cosplays Naruto.

Dojo, grants a wish when all the Dragonballs are collected. He is a Jewish dragon who never stops whining.

Vlad, is a fuck from Romania that wants to eat your children.

Hannibal Roy Bean is an evil talking bean from Mexico. No, I'm not kidding. Stop laughing.

Gigi, a giant fucking talking flower from France.

Le Mime, a fucking mime from France.

Yes-bot is a fucking Yes-bot that tries to make Jack Spicer less insecure and then ends up fucking exploding from failure.

Grand Master Dashi is a Wapanese from the movie Enter the Dragon. Everybody is gay for him; fuck, even I'M gay for him!

Master Monk Guan, a fucking spokesperson for Mr. Clean.

Swedish Ice Monster, a fucking Swedish Ice Monster.

[edit] Xiaolin Showdown Dicitonary

Heylin Side: The Dark Side filled with evil people, such as Bill O'Reilly and overweight male Sailor Moon cosplayers.

[edit] List of Episodes

SEASON ONE:

1. The Journey of a Thousand Fucks
2. Like a Fuck!
3. Tangled Shit
4. Catwoman!
5. Shen Yi Boob
6. Chameleon
7. Ring of the Nine Assholes
8. Night of the Raping Dragon
9. My Homo Omo
10. Big as Fuck
11. Royal Fuck
12. Mala Mala Dong
13. In the Fuck

SEASON TWO:

14. Day's Fuck
15. Citadel of Shit
16. The Shit of Lightning
17. The Crystal Asses
18. Furrytown
19. Fucking-up Omi
20. Enter the Vore
21. The Sands of Shit
22. Hear Some Homo, See Some Homo
23. Rapescape
24. Master Fuck Juan
25. The Rapist Within
26. The Deep Throat

SEASON THREE:

27. The Emperor Scorpion Rapes Jack
28. The Black Niggers
29. Screams of the Shits
30. The Return of Furrybubba
31. The Last Temptation of the Mexican Jew
32. The Year of the Green Bastards
33. The Fucking Seed
34. The Old Order
35. The Asshole
36. Something Nigger
37. Dangerous Fucks
38. Raping Omi
39. Raping Omi

SEASON FOUR:

40. Raping Omi
41. Bird of Hell
42. The Life and Times of Mexican Bean
43. Homo Town
44. Treasure of a Blind Sandnigger
45. All in the Family (with Archie Bunker)
46. The Return of Master Fuck Juan
47. Dream Fucker
48. Chucky Foo'
49. Wu Fucked the Power
50. Mexican Bean's Revenge
51. Puffy Daddy's fucking song, Time After Fucking Time
52. Puffy Daddy's fucking song, Time After Fucking Time

[edit] The Entire Series in One Sentence

Omi loses, Raimundo wins and becomes ruler of all Asia.

[edit] Fact

The little bastards were on a cereal box at one time. They watched you eat to make you feel fat so you can go out and do something with your fucking life. Even that fat fuck Clay was shoop to look thinner to make the fat fucks eating the cereal feel bad.

[edit] The Video Game

Has lots of porn, and Clay constantly rapes Raimundo and Jack Spicer.

[edit] The Action Figures

Are not your personal dildos to shove up your goatse-sized assholes.

[edit] The Cards

Are not your personal dildos to shove up your goatse-sized assholes.

[edit] Videos

Are not your personal dildos to...wait. Here are some videos:

A typical scene from Xiaolin Showdown

An actual music video of Xiaolin Showdown that premiered on MTV

An actual clip from a Xiaolin Showdown episode

The fucking spin-off that was created

Omi	Raimundo using a huge weapon to overcompensate for something else really small	Clay on the right, and George W Bush's wife on the left	Jack Spicer at the bottom right
Chase Young in his super-powerful lizard form	Jermaine being fucking badass	Katnappe	The fucking asshole
Dojo	The REAL Hannibal Roy Bean	Gigi will fucking fuck you up	Jack Spicer's Yes-Bot
Pandabubba	Everybody is gay for Master Dashi!