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Yahoo!

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This article is entirely factual.
Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings.


Yahoo! showing its relevance to the internet, circa March 11th, 2009, because everyone knows Chuck Norris jokes are still relevant.
Yahoo! showing its relevance to the internet, circa March 11th, 2009, because everyone knows Chuck Norris jokes are still relevant.
Yahoo! proves they are "hopelessly out of touch"
Yahoo! proves they are "hopelessly out of touch"
Fuck you rabbit, Yahooligans are for kids.
Fuck you rabbit, Yahooligans are for kids.

Yahoo, an invented persona and mascot, is a search engine, website and trademark. The name was first developed when Brian Peppers squeezed a young boy's nuts and he screamed "Yahoo!" The creators of Yahoo (who were 100% redneck) decided this was a great name for a company, and they went for it. That's the real reason why it is called Yahoo. The following is a shitty reason.

Company executives chose the name "Yahoo" because it seemed warm and friendly to them. At first "Yahoo" was used to provide the simulation of a personal signature to replies to customers asking advice.


Contents


Yahoo Profiles

July 28, 2009, Yahoo decided to make a change to its profiles. Now if you have a yahoo email account, yahoo forcibly puts all of your real name and address on your profile publically for everyone to see. The only way to get it off is hunt down a hidden menu wherein no matter what you enter, the form will say "invalid response". The form also has a human unreadable CAPTCHA on it so as to trick people into thinking they must keep retrying that thing until they go blind, but the joke's on them because the form is simply be unsubmitable. Many people on the internet have reported to spending over 12 hours nonstop trying to get their profile off.

Yahoo Mail and their CAPTCHA

Yahoo gets it wrong
Yahoo gets it wrong

Whenever you try to send mail on Yahoo, you have to enter a CAPTCHA which, much like Google's, are completely unreadable. Yahoo's at first appears readable but 99% of the time it will tell you that you got it wrong. Yahoo noticed that 100% of its support requests were complaints about their shithouse CAPTCHA so, in an epic attempt to further gyrate their users, Yahoo then implemented the same CAPTCHA system before anyone could contact Yahoo.

The solution, of course, is that Yahoo puts their fax numbers on its website. Just go ahead and use a free fax site and send Yahoo support requests by fax. They love this!

Paedophiles on Yahoo

Desperate for internet money by pandering to btards.
Desperate for internet money by pandering to btards.

Yahoo is considered paradise for paedophiles, lesbians, and nerds, but mostly paedophiles. The paedophile rate has doubled, especially in Yahooligans, Dating Chat rooms, and in computer viruses (thank you Bill Gates) and Canadians. Also, Perverted Justice has also raided Yahoo for paedophiles (without a search warrant). If you are a paedophile, find and kill all the staff of NBC for invading your privacy. If not, kill the staff of NBC anyway. Liberals have no place in America. HAHA DISREGARD THAT I SUCK COCKS!!!!!

Trolls on Yahoo

Yahoo, despite being insignificant and obsolete on all levels each due to a different competitor, is not without its trolls. One particular user, Inkybob, takes great delight in harassing Christians in Yahoo groups, which makes her both edgy and hardcore. Maybe one day she'll see the same fate as another other hardcore guy.

Yahoo News, being completely unmoderated, is the perfect place for wannabe trolls to hang out. A typical discussion will feature nothing to do with the story and will instead be full of crap jokes posted at least 100 times, Desu Desu Desu, fundies cracking on about Jesus and generally some of the most pathetic shit you will ever find on the internet.

Flooding

Fail usage of memes is fail.
Fail usage of memes is fail.
Flooding has resulted in some rooms being closed down with flood bots for over 3 years. Evidence suggests as much as 50% of the bots on Yahoo! are due to Vincntvangogh, a botmeister, being proven ignorant during an intellectual debate by emcandela Vinc was subsequently teabagged by Morrissey.

Malicious Mayhem

Yahoo Messenger/Chat, also known as YaWhore, has been frequent targets of the 1337 community of Yahoo. People with way too much time on their hands develop programs that can produce epic lulz such as kicking people out of rooms, brute forcing Yahoo user names, and flooding the chat room.

Yahoo Is Better Than You

See also


175
Yahoo!
is part of a series on Web 1.0

     

Old Memes  •   Celebs, h4x0rz, and Phreaks  •   Communications and Technologies  •   Events  •   Death of Web1.0

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