You
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
You are a worthless waste of life, which is why - at this precise point in world history - you are reading this sentence. You think you should be doing something more productive, but for some reason, you aren't. You think your taste in music matters. You think playing video games makes you "alternative". You "spontaneously" quote Monty Python. You installed Linux on a partition because it seemed vaguely countercultural. You wear a fucking fedora in public and believe this makes the world a more whimsical place. You went to a second-tier state college and joined the Roleplaying club on the first day of orientation. You watch anime but insist you're not a fanboy. You quote memes at parties and then laugh alone, awkwardly. You own at least one cape which you wear "ironically" to comic conventions. You drive a 1990's Civic with crumbs on the floor and an "I roll 20's" bumper sticker. You write long posts in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist but never get responses. You haven't had much sex, and the few times you did were clumsy and tedious. You think people shouldn't judge you based on your meager accomplishments because that's not, like, what you're about, you know? You collect Plastic Crap. You hover around the edges of your social group, grasping at straws of approval. You get your ideas and arguments from blogs. You don't get invited, you tag along. You like to tell yourself you "only date nerds because they understand" you, but then masturbate to 10's who wouldn't even waste the breath to tell you to fuck off if you approached one of them in a bar. You sit at your desk daydreaming about which X-Men power you want, while your peers are building the world in their image. You fail it, where it = ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
Seriously, fuck you.
Contents |
[edit] Definitions
You is an ambiguous word that can be either plural or singular depending on the context (which may itself be ambiguous). English is unique in this regard.
You is not in the word team, but there is a me.
You are a cockless embarrassment to yourself and your family.
You are gullible.
You are a moron and probably a cunt, and yet, this website will still beg you for money.
You will never find true love.
You think The Internet is serious business.
You spelled backwards is suck.
You jack off to goatse, you sick fuck.
You voted for George W. Bush. Twice.
You are in a shitty local band noone likes, although a few people may claim to so that you dont feel bad.
You don't like it when people say bad things about you, and when they do, you cry about it.
You need to stop kidding yourself, they pick you last in gym, and it's not because you're the best.
You are a 13 year old boy.
You play on Xbox Live
However, You are Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006. You won this award for all the hard work you put into user-generated content, such as videos of cats falling off beds and CP. Thanks, you. You're making the world a better place.
[edit] Did You Know that...
YOU can't handle Cubic Time, Cubic Life or Cubic Truth - for inside of Time Cube equates the most magnificent symmetry of opposites existing within the universe - for every corner has an equal opposite corner, every 2 corners has an equal opposite 2 corners, every tri-corner has an equal opposite tri-corner and every 4 corners has an equal opposite 4 corners?
YOU fail at life, the Internet, and comedy?
YOU sucked someone off so you could get the money to buy a Nintendo DS?
YOU are probably a smart-ass, bisexual, atheist teenager?
YOU would be killing brain cells if you had any?
YOU can't do it. And if you are, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG?
YOU = FAG?
YOU fail it (your skill is not enough)?
YOU are a pretty cool guy, yuo kill aleinz and doesn't afraid of anything
YOU get butthurt when someone PWNS your fucking ass?
Noone likes YOU?
YOU wish you had real friends?
NO, YOU DO!
YOU YOU YOU just lost the game!!!
YOU don't use 4chan
c-c-c-combo breaker!
When YOU are dead I'll be still alive. Still alive. Still alive.
[edit] You and web 2.0
We realize that many of you are just "the typical fuck". Blogging, vlogging, podcasting, writing, editing, coding, drawing, tagging -- all under the hope that your self-indulgent jizz-stain of work will be plastered on the front page of Time, or if not that, some shitty Web 2.0 site. You're wrong, you are nobody, and you will never be what you dream.
[edit] GOOD NEWS FOR YOU!
YOU are invited to Lulzcon! This is the single most importantly lulzy experience of your life. But if you've got the time to read this, you probably failed to get there. Fucking loser.
Your penis is a stub. You can help by tugging on it.
[edit] See also
[edit] Gallery
 YOU... on the best day of your life. |
 YOU... in 50 years' time. |
 |
 You is part of a series on Web 2.0 | Web 2.0 • Social networking • Social networking sites • Blogging • Blogosphere • PHP • Podcasting • Wikiing • Ajax • Ruby on Rails • Internet Humanitarianism • X is not your personal army • User-generated content • ITunes Store
Web 2.0 Sites People of Web 2.0 |
|---|
 |
You is part of a series on Child Abuse. |
|
