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MRI

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A typical MRI procedure. If you cannot do this, then you are too fat and belong on the list below.
A typical MRI procedure. If you cannot do this, then you are too fat and belong on the list below.
A typical MRI Scan.
A typical MRI Scan.

Once known as nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR), the word nuclear scared the shit out of people, so it was changed.

MRI is a spectroscopic technique that measures the precession, that is, rotation, of nuclei in a strong magnetic field, when pulsed with radio frequency electromagnetic energy. Through the use of magnetic field gradients, three-dimensional images can be produced, as well as sectional slices.

MRIs are big scary machines shaped like a tube. You get strapped down, possibly injected with noxious substances and then wheeled into the tube where you spend up to an hour being subjected to horrible loud banging sounds.

Despite their ferocious nature, MRI machines are easily pwned by idiots.

MRIs have been hunted to all but extinction by Al Gore and his Mooninauts.

[edit] People Who Wouldn't Fit in an MRI

Some people are too fat to fit in an MRI. Radiologists use the euphemism LBBH which means "limited by body habitus", to refer to fatty-fats like the following grotesque caricatures of the human form:

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