Yokeup
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| Yokeup is on wife #5. lulz. |
Yokeup is a notoriously homophobic, delusional christfag fucktard, who spends his time beating the devil out of his closeted lesbian wife, telling atheists and gays that they don't exist, and making evangelical YouTube videos. Whilst Yokeup's existence is for the most part, utterly meaningless, he does raise a few important questions, such as; how does he manage to use a mouse without thumbs; and how can a monkey operate a computer? These questions could probably be answered by scientists, but he doesn't believe in science, so his one meaningful quality will go to waste. When not beating the gay out of his wife or lynching atheists, Yokeup likes to make hate-mongering videos on YouTube, notable for their prelude of "this is not hate speech" somewhat similar to "this is not copypasta."
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[edit] Initial Appearance
While you may initially mistake Yokeup for your typical run-of-the-mill lovable southern bumpkin Christian, it doesn't take long to recognize him for the mentally disturbed, fundie, homophobic, sexist, nigger hating, queer beating, douchebag that he really is. Yokeup's species is however, slightly more difficult to realize, as he has the sloping brow of the Homo habilis species, the chin length and mental capacity of the earlier Pierolapithecus catalaunicus family, and the common courtesy of a nigger.
He is also a fat piece of shit.
[edit] Yokeup's "Fast"
Day one
Day last: Note the amazing change in weight.
Last Thursday, Yokeup announced that he would go on a 40 day fast for Jesus and he challenged YouTube atheists to do the same. Yokeup claimed that only a true Christian would be able to survive for 40 days without food as only they can live off the spirit of Jesus...and soup and “protein drinks”. Yokeup got pissed off when a load of atheists accepted his challenge. Yokeup personally dropped by their channels to tell them that they were darksided and would fail due to negative thetans or something. During the fast, it was noted with curiosity that Yokeup seemed to be gaining weight, which would make him the only person in the world who can get fatter whilst not eating. Rather than address these accusations, Yokeup decided to continue the fast, step up the comment trolling of YouTube atheists and gain moar weight. After the "fast" finished, he celebrated by going out to breakfast and eating a shitload of food. But waitaminute, if you haven’t been eating solid food for even 20 days, eating is the painful equivalent of giving birth. This means either Yokeup a fucking liar and a typical christfag hypocrite, or that he consumed so much soup and protein drinks that what he did could hardly be considered a fast.
[edit] Wife
[UPDATE: Caroline has since given up on bellathehappyloser and has since taken to incoherent textual comments, video faggotry, and camwhoring for Christ.]
[edit] Videos
This is where Yokeup really shines. Despite only having a thousand or so subscribers (most of them atheists), he has made 700 fucking videos. He has almost reached inmendham-like levels at failing at Youtube. With that many videos you would think you'd at least get some variety, and maybe some food for thought, right? Wrong. Here are his six most watched videos:
* Atheists don't Exist!,
* No Gay Christians.. no [ insert sin ] Christians,
* ex Christian... no such thing,
* You are NOT Gay - The devil is a Liar,
* Pathetic atheists....
* Atheists don't Exist..... THE POINT
And further clarification.. Out of 706 videos, Yokeup has referenced Gays in his tags/video description in 562 of them, Atheists in 577 of them, and Christians in.. 74 of them! srsly!. See the quotes for the general content you can expect from a Yokeup video.
[edit] Music
As well as her full time job as an atheist lyncher and gay beater, she also enjoys making corny christian country music. Her songs are filled with lyrics regarding American military superiority and always feature generic background music. Fun fact, she even sings like a lesbian.
[edit] Debate with a Muslim
Yokeup stepped way out of his biological depth when he agreed to participate in a religious debate with an Islamic Homo sapiens called Tangier9. This was a reply to an implication by TommyfromthefuckingfuckingBronx that Yokeup was too pussy to debate a Muslim. Turns out he's just stupid as shit, seeing as during the debate he admitted under no pressure, that he was utterly wrong, and forfeited the debate without even realizing what he had done. The subject of the debate was "Does salvation through Christ make sense" And right off the bat Yokeup said, "Salvation through Christ makes no sense." He didn't realize the mistake he made, and continued the debate oblivious, wondering what everyone was laughing at. Christians all over YouTube facepalmed, and sand niggers rejoiced. Even without this monumental cock-up, Yokeup still got slaughtered. He was replying to all of Tangier's pwnage with "loldunno, im just a truck driver that loves jesus, hyuck hyuck hyuck."
[edit] Challenges to Atheists
Yokeups first challenge to atheists consisted of telling them that he would say "God bless you" to a stranger, if they said "fuck" you to a stranger. Nobody had any idea what he meant by that, and he was promptly pwnt by Nick Gisburne. His second challenge consisted of challenging TheAmazingAtheist to a wrestling match. Normally a challenge this blatantly homosexual would be taken up by TheAmazingAtheist in a flash, but due to various laws prohibiting zoophilia he was forced to pull out. Yokeups most recent challenge to atheists involved asking atheists to prove that they exist. Over 9000 YouTube atheists took up the challenge, but all were unsure how to point out their own existence, but the fact that they appeared on camera constituted as proof.
[edit] So White Trash it Makes Me Want to Cry
[edit] Great Quotes of Our Time
| —yokeup, a true man of genius |
| —Caroline, not so good with dem tricky sentences |
| —redneck levels are over 9000 |
| — Caroline, doesnt need you in her country |
| — wut |
[edit] External Links
Yokeup on YouTube
Yokeup's website, spam the guestbook
[edit] See Also
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Yokeup is part of a series on YouTube |
| Visit the YouTube Portal for complete coverage. |
