ZDaemon
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
| THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ THEY GOT TIRED OF PLAYING SOLO |
ZDaemon is a source port of Doom with support for online play. The community is almost terminally stupid and very easily offended by the tiniest things, even by CS and WoW standards.
The IRC channel is a cesspool of random retarded spewings and creepy innuendo which is repeated verbatim and frequently spouted forth by their automated bot. Their forums aren't much better, with all of the normal fixin's of social posturing, clan posturing and administration favoritism.
So basically, it's like /b/.
Contents |
People of Interest
- deathz0r: Former Judeo-Bolshevist admin who would lock any fucking topic that doesn't catch his fancy, which was about 2/3rds of them. He was a fucking self-important douche who threatens the banhammer for the lightest infractions. Left the community due to massive butthurt over having his power level taken below nine thousand. He can't seem to let go, however, and still insists on trying to play under an alias every time he obtains a new IP.
- Kilgore: The greek lead programmer. Basically follows whatever the rest of the administration team decides. Gets really pissed when you point out that the launcher is set up to pirate commercial games by default if it can't find them on-hand. Is also suspected to be an anal pirate of sorts himself.
- AlexMax: Former mod who left Zdaemon because he was unable to ignore a couple of complete noobs on the forums, and later he is banned from the ZDaemon community for grandstanding over shit nobody cares about. AlexMax was so butthurt over his ban he decided to make this article. However, he failed to realize that nobody else actually cares about Doom community drama, not even those that were a part of it and especially not ED.
- NightFang: Furry who origionally created ZDaemon by regex-ing "CSDoom" with "ZDaemon". Also showed off his Computer Science III skills by writing a CSDoom server crasher, and a personal aimbot for his own game. Quit when he realized that people were actually taking his game seriously.
- Raider: The classic "project lead" who actually does nothing but have his ego masturbated and ban people who don't like him", except his "ego" is suspected to be "masturbated" by teenage girls and the occasional pre-teen. He's suspected to be in his early forties, for perspective.
- Danni: Another programmer with access to the source code, comes on once a year to code one line and then fucks off, also created ZDaemon 2.0, a version that doesn't exist.
- Romeo: I asked my crack team of specialists to come up with a name for this guy, but all we could think of was 'dipshit'. His clan practically defined the term clan posturing by having a million members in it but 95% of them too busy playing WoW to actually play.
- Thunder: Deceased. That didn't stop her from becoming the target of a post-mortem lolcow when someone joined a server aliased as her.
- Mr-Cheater: A mentally challenged Canadian and self-proclaimed "biggest troll on zd." In all cases to date, his trolling attempts have resulted in the purest form of fail known to exist. He leaves the community forever at least three times a month. He is known to whine incessantly when banned from any server/IRC for his terrible trolling attempts and then trying to spread drama to places that honestly don't give a fuck and whine when he's kicked out of those places too. If you see a spectacularly unfunny edit done to this page it's probably done by a Mr-Cheater alt.
- Heatpack (Ice_Cold): The very definition of human failure, Ice_Cold is an awesome white TeamSpeak rapper, virgin, and lady's man. He is obviously one of the most skilled e-lovers to ever exist, as you can clearly see by reading one of his fuck logs. He has a strange affliction for plump young Russian girls. He forced a female member of the community named Horsey to kill herself after he was afraid to show up at a mall to meet her.
- AF-Domains: A well known Basement-dweller and IRCop in the community. It is rumored that he hasn't left his basement or seen sunlight since becoming an IRCop years ago. When asked why he is always online he claims he is "paid" to do his job, but won't say how much or in what form; leading to much speculation. One group of strapping young intellectuals has decided to attack this issue head-on, releasing this report which implies that he is not really paid, but frequently gives Raider oral sex to keep his position of power in the community. Some go as far as assuming that he is not human, but actually Raider's male sex-doll that is programmed to K-Line everything in sight while they fuck.
- zombeh: Huge attention whore. Became popular by saying "<3 (person)" whenever any random (person) logs in. Will have e-sex with anyone to get moar attention. Thinks she is 1337 at internet, but only knows the memes fail and the shit spamming of "buttsex" (meme courtesy straight from the fucking empty minds at Zdaemon). Has every kind of myspace ripoff page on the internet. Also, emo, 16 year old girl, camwhore,and really sucks at the actual DooM game. Has no point in life besides to get more e-friends that she doesn't know, and have e-sex with other attention whores on ZDaemon, to get more attention from the horny mods (whom encourage this shit by setting the bots to quote all of her "horny moments").
- Penif: Founder and unofficial leader of "The Purple Squad." This guy's daily routine consists of joining cooperative servers and murdering teammates, essentially ruining the game for everyone, or at least as he sees it. Penif is so busy failing at ruining other people's fun that he has yet to be laid and will most definitely die a virgin. Penif believes that his efforts in "ruining other people's fun" are successful, but in reality they result in nothing more than epic failure, as it takes less than nine thousand seconds to call a vote to kick him and his butt buddies off of a server. Also of note, is that Penif has a huge fetish for furry porno and loves to share this fetish with others on irc and that he was unable to correctly spell "Penis". Penif could do the interwebs a huge favor by becoming an hero.
- The Purple Squad: Pioneers in "ruining other peoples fun." If a co-op server allows friendly fire, these hooligans will do nothing but murder teammates and create chaos. If the server has team damage disabled, they will most likely block important hallways, passages, and elevators. The most notable member of this unofficial "clan" (The Purple Squad is notoriously anti-clan) is PENIF. ZDaemon moderators have made numerous attempts to ban Purple Squad, but have never been successful. One member originally operating under the handle, "QuakeSucks", is often found "name-faking" as late adversary, Toke.
- Lulzfest: One of Shadow116's Australian butt buddies, lulzfest is your typical internet tough guy (Yes, that is actually his real user name.How ironic...) who goes around threatening to kick people's asses and bragging about his foot long dick. Lulzfest admits to being on viagra which is quite lulzy, as he is less than nine thousand years old. He is an open and active supporter of legalizing pedophilia and also has a fetish for mancubus porno (WTF is wrong with this dude!?!). When asked by a community member as to why he enjoys his sick fetishes so much, he replied with "my therapist thinks it is healthy for me to look at animated pornography". Lulzfest made a clan once, but no one actually gives a shit about it since it died two weeks later, resulting in epic failure and massive butthurt. Arguably the most disturbing fact about this guy is that he may have children. Update: After seeing the horrible stuff that was written about his butt buddy Shadow116, lulzfest has decided to vandalize this article. Of course failure ensues whenever he does this, but you should remain villigant nevertheless. If a unfunny edit is made to this page, then most likely lulzfest is the cause. Being the internet tough guy that he is, he has declared that he will "kick ED's fukin ass". How truly horrifying...
- Shadow116: Thirteen year old Australian anal pirate who is known for going around on servers and bragging about his massive dick while at the same time offering his sex service to guys. Known for making a short lived clan called HGV which failed miserably and died painfully because no one in the clan actually played Doom. All anyone in HGV would do was pointlessly chat on IRC all day sharing their sexual fantasies with each other. A lulzy fact about this guy is that despite the fact that he offers sexual favors to guys and gets "erections from huge juicy cocks", is that he denies being homosexual and claims that he is "as straight as an arrow". Much lulz occurs if you talk to him about his sexual orientation. Update: Apparently Shadow116 is attempting to make another pointless clan called "Heartless Demon." As you can see from this shitty site, that it is truly serious business.
- DarthBane*: There is not enough deadly shit in the world to supply everyone who wants this fucking kid dead. DarthBane, which is the kid's most-known of many aliases that include S_Tails and AjuntaPall, is a 9 year old Internet Tough Guy from Los Banos, California. He spends the good portion of his day down in the basement on his computer, annoying the piss out of everyone he happens across with stupid comments like ":O :o :O :o I'm breathing!" and "JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME JOIN MY GAME!!!" but when you join his game he pussies out and leaves, and cries to his mommy, who then proceeds to make him a bowl of soup and touch him where he pees. He is afraid of everyone, yet claims to be friends and claims to help everyone, though everyone who he claims likes him have said otherwise, many times. He makes Mr-Cheater look smarter than him. When will this kid take a hint and go become An Hero?
- Ismaele*: Spoilt Italian brat from Palermo, Southern Italy. Incapable of playing without the BFG and likes to brag about being in the 'Top 200' in the Experience Points table, failing to realise that nobody cares a shit what rank he is or isn't. Very immature for his age, which is believed to be around mid-20s. Unpopular due to said bragging and also for constantly making comments like "Sucking Fucking Campers", and "Campers die of Cancer" during games. Not to mention comments about sucking cocks, which rather suggests that he's partial to a bit of meat and 2 veg. He also is a bad loser, and when he is beaten by one of the many better players he will respond with the aforementioned comments and accusations of camping.
- Hevi-Keppi* Annoying Finnish noob(who even fellow Finns dislike). Behaves in a similar way to Ismaele, he is also a BFG noob who likes to insult other players in games for no reason and whine incessantly about everything. Can be easily spotted by his dark red player colour, which is the same colour as his equally annoying brother Iron-Fist wears.
Holy Shit Effort
Due to the administration being extremely paranoid after past dissent, trolls and miscellaneous butthurt, trying to gain access to the community itself, for lulz or otherwise, is a bit of an ordeal. IRC access requires a special IRC client that is built in to the game launcher itself (though efforts to modify and recompile a normal IRC client have been met with success in the past) and a valid ZDaemon account (which are automated). To gain forum access, you need to register a forum account and then join IRC and PM one of the admins until they sanity check your IP and activate your account manually. Being 'found out' means being banned from IRC, the forums and the game metaserver itself. Effort.
Clans and the huge E-Dick
ZDaemon, like any other gaming community, has many clans that like any other community, are so retarded that upon actually getting a Wicked Sick (30 frags without getting killed), will make countless moviesto show off their immense virtual penis size and then post it on the Forums, usually done by recent immigrants in the United States. Despite this, they will quickly attack a player who takes this game seriously. Sure, there are decent clans in the Doom world such as DUI that were around long before ZDaemon was. These are not to be confused with the crappy clans on ZDaemon that sometimes start and finish within a week. Furthermore, very few ZD clans actually play the game, they either spend all their time chatting in IRC or playing pointless games of co-op.
The DDoS
When people become sick of Raider's shit, they go out in style. One of the more notorious (and funny) flame-out's in ZDaemon history was CodeImp's exit stage left. CodeImp happened to be the lead coder behind Skulltag Online, a server browser for Skulltag, ZDaemon's "rival". He created an 'update' to Skulltag Online, which was specifically designed to DDoS ZDaemon's master servers when the program was next used. It worked beautifully, and no one could figure out why ZDaemon was offline for a few hours. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of labeling his work, and was finally found out by someone with Computer Science III who took a look inside the program itself with a hex editor.
Update: the lulz unexpectedly continues when someone adds Codeimp's heroic exploits to his profile on the Doom Wiki. His Doom Wiki profile currently contains no mention of the exploit and the discussion page has been blanked while the argument continues in a less conspicuous place, with retarded ZDaemon players screaming about "cyber terrorism" on one side and CodeImp denying everything and making thinly veiled threats on the other.
Your servers aren't your own
| —Raider |
| —Raider, ZDaemon Main Page |
Considering the fact that maybe a quarter of the total bans on the banlist are community drama related and not cheating, you, as a server admin, are now forcibly 'involved' with the latest retarded community drama if you like it or not.
The Community
- ZDaemon Main Site (just like the Game, straight out of the 1990's)
- Forums (complete with ringamarole signup process)
- Banlist (tl;dr)
Drama
If you have drama that has yet to be categorized in the main article, link it here
- Someone aliases as another deceased player
- Oh, furries too!
- The administration team covertly releases a "cheat" that actually deletes files off your hard drive.
- Apparently, you aren't allowed to piss pubbies off on your own server
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