Power Rangers
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Power Rangers was originally a TV show from Japan about people in spandex suits and helmets running around and fighting giant monsters with robots. The 1992 Japanese installment was picked up by some greedy U.S. TV execs in 1993 and made into a cash cow, to milk the money out of boys in elementary school. While many of us have fond memories of it from growing up, Saban, in a show of originality, decided to follow in the footsteps of its stupid Japanese counterpart and change storylines, cast members, and locations every five minutes, often forgetting about and never mentioning the preceding (and better) one ever again. This promptly ruined Power Rangers for anybody who once enjoyed it and there are now over 9,000 different Power Rangers series, with more on the way.
The show was also ripped off by a local TV Station in the Philippines and was titled Zaido.
Contents |
Every Single Episode
- Power Rangers as normal faggots.
- Introduce life lesson to be learned.
- Fight those gray clay dudes. (win)
- See monster and morph into Power Rangers.
- Fight monster and lose because it's too early.
- Wrestle with issues for 10 minutes before coming to conclusion that could have been reached in 10 seconds.
- Fight with monster again and seemingly win.
- The monster becomes giant.
- Power Rangers summon giant robot.
- Fight the giant monster then cut it in half with a power sword attack.
- Power Rangers as normal faggots and talk about what they learned.
An example:
The Power Rangers
The Original Power Rangers
Black Ranger Zack: Portrayed by black guy. Is good at hip-hop dancing, incorporates it into fighting. Wow. Also his is the only weapon that turns into a gun.
Yellow Ranger Trini: Portrayed by an Asian woman (coincidence?). Died in a car accident in 2001, RIP Yellow Ranger. She was cremated and fed to Zordon.
Red Ranger Jason: Was a karate master and outdoor sports fan IRL at time of filming. He somehow became a fatass after quitting. Also ended up doing gay porn. (srsly.)
Blue Ranger Billy Bob: Only one with half a brain.
Pink Ranger Kimberly: Every elementary school boy wants to fuck her. Is in some shitty cop show titled Flashpoint nao.
Green Ranger Tommy: Evil dude at first, becomes good cause he raped the Pink One
White Ranger "Same guy as above": a white power Klansman of the KKK who was created by the series creators to express their racist attitudes, a faggot that all the weaboo fangirls love, was the Green guy at first. Rapes the red guy and steals his leadership position.
Replacements
New Red Ranger Mexican Rocky Balboa: Rocky Balboa's Mexican bastard son, nothing much else to say about him.
New Black Ranger Johnny Yong Bosch: Known by weeaboos around the world as the voice of Vash and Ichigo from a shitty animus. He is a Korean but plays Warcraft instead of Starcraft.
New Yellow Ranger Nigger Lady: She hails from Africa and returns to Africa when she realizes some Egyptian niggers killed all her lions and turned them into fur coats.
New Pink Ranger Kat: An Australian Furry bitch, seriously, Rita Repulsa turned her into a giant Furry to turn the other Rangers into Furries. Kimberly saw this plan a mile away and promptly broke up with Tommy and went to France to suck French cock. Tommy, now single and no one to suck his cock, gave Kat the Pink Power Morpher Coin so she can un-furry herself and be the Australian whore that she was destined to be.
Alien Rangers
Aliens, what the fuck do you think they are? One of them is a space nigger. The girl likes to suck Tommy's cock, though.
Zeo Rangers
Everyone from the replacement teams but they get their colors switched, Tommy is Red, Rocky Balboa is Blue, and Johnny is Green. They get an African slave as their new Yellow Ranger, she has a giant nose and mouth like most slaves. Jason also comes back as the Gold Ranger after he has gay sex with Triplets from some Planet that has Pyramid robots.
CarRangers
After the Triplets take the Gold Ranger powers back so that they can fuse into one, Jason becomes evil and makes Kimberly evil and wants revenge on the Rangers. Zordon was like "Ah hell no" while watching Pimp my Ride and decided to give the rangers Car powers. Also Rocky Balboa broke his leg after watching the new Rocky movie so some kid with AP powers took his place. Then Zordon was like "I NEED MOAR BLACK PEOPLE ON JEWTUBE" and fired all the Rangers and got a new team. Billy Bob wanted to goto Alien Rangers' homeworld to have sex with Cestria so they can have alien children.
Red Ranger T.J.: The nigger Red Ranger Zordon always wanted
Green Ranger Carlos: A stereotypical Mexican with a thick accent, The Rangers can't understand him half the time so they have him wash their cars and do their laundry most of the time.
Blue Ranger Justin: A Faggot 10 year old that AP's when he morphs, he is only there to have sex with everyone on the show
Yellow Ranger Ashley: Your standard high school tomboy cheerleader type girl that tries to remain a technical virgin.
Pink Ranger Cassie: Some Asian girl but raised like a white girl, has Ranger sex with Phantom Ranger and just by saying Phantom Ranger makes her cum. Resurfaced evidence from 2006 shows that she is in fact Haruhi Suzumiya irl, and the weaboos went crazy. [1]
Phantom Ranger: Some robot faggot that always gets his ass kicked but heals by having sex with Cassie. Gets lost in space.
Space Rangers
Zordon gets kidnapped and sent into space, so four of the Rangers follow him in space and meet Legolas's half brother Andros and become Space Rangers. T.J. becomes Blue and Carlos Black.
Red Space Ranger Andros: Legolas's half brother, tries to act cool but really knows nothing about having a life, seriously. He has psychic powers which he learned from Slowpoke himself. He asked Ashely to teach him pool after Math class but it's a trap! Andros just raped her on the pool table in the Halodeck which he borrowed from Patrick Stewart.
Silver Ranger Zhane: Some guy that was better than Andros, Andros secretly hated him stealing the spotlight from him during Andros's emo days so Andros froze Zhane for over 9,000 years while Zhane was on his way to a Titanic audition. Then T.J. unfroze him like a dumb nigger.
The only real highlight of this version is the crossover with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, not the classic cartoon we all grew up with, but the shitty live-action FOX version with the girl turtle), and Zordon instructing Andros to make him an hero.
Galaxy Rangers
No Guts, No Glory. It has been said that the best thing about this is the dominatrix Karone who flaunted her sexy body in leather so tight that she had to hold her mouth open to breathe. Because of this, when she wasn't sucking cock, she drooled all over herself. Nobody cared because she was fucking hot.
Why all the Lineup Changes?
Since its beginning, Power Rangers has been fraught with lineup changes over which actors are or aren't being paid enough. The first Rangers team consisting of Jason, Trini, and Zach reportedly left because they felt they weren't being paid enough. Recent evidence, however, has uncovered startling new reasons for the original Red Ranger's departure. Since the introduction of Jason David Frank, the Green Ranger, tensions between him and Austin St. John, the actor who played the Red Ranger, have heightened. Because Mr. St. John was a born-again Evangelical Christian, news reports have confirmed him being uncomfortable around his co-star. At the time, it is also believed that Jason David Frank was a closeted homosexual who had just come to terms with his sexuality and as such, he could not contain his feelings towards his fellow co-worker much longer. It is now believed that Austin St. John finally left the show because he felt "uncomfortable" in the presence of "Tommy".
Later on, though, Austin St. John returned for Power Rangers: Zeo. It is believed that around this time, he and Jason David Franke signed a "No Touching" stipulation clause with Saban ruling that "Tommy" was to keep his hands to himself. This clause lasted from St. John's duration as the Gold Ranger to the beginning of the Turbo movie. It was at the beginning of the Turbo series that Mr. Franke breached the contract once more, resulting in Austin St. John leaving the series permanently.
...at least until "Forever Red". But by that time, Jason David Franke had lost interest. After all, the other Red Rangers were in much better physical shape for his roving eyes.
Length
It has moar series and spin-offs than Menudo has members. It's not like anyone cared after the original pink slut ranger left anyway. Except the 16 year old Green/Pink Ranger shippers, of course - seriously, over 9,000% of all fanfiction from this series is about Green and Pink being emo over each other for breaking up between the original series and Zeo.
List of Power Rangers series
- Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
- Season Two where they replace the Black guy with a Korean, the Asian girl with a black girl, and the Red dude with a beaner. Cause the original Red was like "I want a raise", so he got fired, and the black guy was like "Ah hell no boy, if he goes I go" and he got fired too, and they fired the Asian girl cause they felt like it.
- Season Three where they become KKK Ninjas and get a British whore.
- Alien Rangers, cause 40 Year old fanfic writers made the Rangers AR and wanted some alien pussy.
- Power Rangers Zeo, where they replace Animals for shapes so they can reverse what the fanfic writers did. Former Red guy comes back as Gold guy to try to take revenge on the White guy turned new Red guy for his sodomized buttcheeks. Former Red guy fails, loses his powers, and gets fondled by King Mondo.
- Voicelugger [2]
- CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRANGER, more AP in this one.
- Power Rangers in Space. Dark Spectre caused 9/11 SPOILERS ANDROS KILLS ZORDON!
- Power Rangers get Lost in Space, more specifically a Galaxy. Jihad Stingwingers cause 9/11 and it's up to the Rangers in a big floating root beer barrel and the sexy dominatrix Pink Ranger Karone to save the universe.
- Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue, where they use the same races for each color as the previous serious and have a voyeur Red Ranger. Also includes a faggot Titanium Man that was in only 5 episodes and said he did all the work.
- Power Rangers DragonForce, Herman Li plays a revived Rita Repulsa.
- Power Rangers Fuck up our Time Line, includes multiple Asians. In a twist of fate, 9/11 caused cut scenes!
- Power Rangers Hippie Force, where an abridged version of "Never Gonna Give You Up" is the catchphrase. Had a crossover with over 9,000 Red Rangers who all gang-raped the Big Bad Beetleborgs.
- Power Rangers Dino Thunder, cause they ran out of ideas, HOLY SHIT TOMMY COMES BACK AS THE BLACK RANGER!
- Power Rangers STD, where the Green Ranger says Buttery and everyone thinks its funny. Includes multiple furry encounters, its shit like this that turns kids into furries when they grow up.
- Power Rangers Harry Potter Force, Kumar makes a appearance as the Red Ranger, both his parents are white people.
- Power Rangers Construction Crew, where they bring back 5 of the older guys for an orgy (thus firing the new guys), and they have a Black Black Ranger that raps. Asian Ranger has small penis, the new nigger ranger acknowledges this.
Nigger Ranger ultimately driven from fandom due to a mod not caring he was famousNigger Ranger currently owns a Ranger Cast hugbox where you can worship Power Rangers actors.
- Power Rangers Jungle Furry, 2008 series. Oh shit Furry's have invaded Power Rangers. The Japanese version was called JewFurry Sentai GekiFurryJew Rangers and had a bunch of Furry Martial art masters. Now in Jungle Furry, it's a bunch of Furry Ranger Martial Art masters passing on their furry to a white kung fu master that owns a Pizza shop. And he passes on the Furry down to young Rangers and they spread the Furry to the little kids....dear God. Luckily, Riki is going to come down and beat the shit out of those Furries.
- "Power Rangers RPM", where the world is taken over by a computer virus or some shit.
- Coming Soon: Power Rangers Canceled or Power Rangers Anime (2009)
Jews Did Lord Zedd
Agony in Pink
In 1994, a person known as "The Dark Ranger" posted a fanfiction depicting the Pink Ranger being tortured on usenet. It is notable for its intense torture scenes and causing people to get pissed in Australia.
The below is chapter 5 of the alleged fanfic:
Chapter 5 of the fanfic may be found here
Power Rangers Dianetics Force
A 1980S commercial for the Scientologist axis movement clearly shows the original Yellow Ranger Trini saying, amongst others, the word "Trust" in her native language. Alpha, Xenu's escaped! Recruit a team of teenagers with ineptitude.
Trini, actress Thuy Trang died in a car crash in 2001. Tom Cruise drove right past...probably realizing she was only a man in the Japanese footage. Asian women are such bad drivers.
Rangerboard
Rangerboard is a shit forum for Power Rangers fans of all ages, and its fucking huge. User's ages range from 8 to 58 (Seriously), but most users are around the age of 10 or 25. The amount of posts per minute are similar to 4chan but usually they are full of shit no one cares about. Even people buy shit on Rangerboard, usually threads consist of "HEY GAIZ GIMME A POWER MORPHER FOR $10"! or "I'm a broke nigger selling stuff to get into college". How one usually purchases an item from a user is "$150 Dolla for DX Dragonzord MISB!". Most Rangerboard users are kids that never even heard of goatse, tubgirl, or lemon party, so wouldn't it be a good time to change a young Power Ranger's fans life with a little goatse?
Notably, the board is also home to a large thread dedicated entirely to gay Power Rangers fans. This is a prime example of a self-generating lulz machine, as this very same thread causes distortions in the space time continuum that make the board's inner workings become butthurt and glitch due to its massive size. Nobody can say anything, however, because they're all gay and telling them that their pointless thread is bad for the board means you're a horrible homophobe.
Questioning them is subject to dire consequences.
Among the thread's most frequent contributors are:
- Tristanism - Huge fan of Final Fantasy VII and writer of the gay novel Reign and Power Rangers fanfic Starlight Rain. Suggesting his thread is shit results in banhammer.
- BB Mack - Thread's resident bitch. Used for sperm deposit.
- kakuwhite18 - A pagan nun.
- Acatl - Called "Maiki" by friends who love his doll collection and give him praise. Watches High School Musical.
Ranger Talk
Similar to Rangerboard but a lot smaller, more shitty and run by highly competent administrators. They take even the slightest comments as death threats and they are always fun to troll. They can be found at http://rangertalk.com
