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Zeta toy

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

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Animal sex toys. You're doing it wrong.

A zeta toy owner reaches the final stage of furry perversion

A zeta toy is a dildo which mimics the exact shape and size of an animal's cock. Popular among furries who, lulled into an entirely false sense of normality by the echo chamber that is the Internets, have dropped all pretense and coyness with regard to their zoophilic tendencies.

Dog and horse cocks are the most popular zeta toys, but pigs, bears, spaniards, boar, oxen, chinchillas, Quasidan, orangutans, echidna, deer, mice, mouse deer, blue whales (whose penises are roughly 2m long - how furfags expect to hide one of those from their parents is beyond me), sperm whales, killer whales and the prince of Wales are not unheard of. Also available are fanciful renderings that attempt to capture the "essence" of real or imagined creatures with no external genitalia, such as Tom Cruise.

The purchase of a zeta toy is the "skip" portion of a furry's inevitable hop, skip and jump towards the sexual abuse of domesticated animals.

1 Customer Appreciation
2 Galleries
- 2.1 Gallery A: The Toys Themselves
- 2.2 Gallery B: The Toys in Action
3 See Also

[edit] Customer Appreciation

“	Dear Zetatoys; I recently ordered the "KnottyTrainer" and I must say that I am VERY pleased with the item. I found the sensations it generated once fully inserted indescribable!!!! I will send in some pictures as soon as I can. I will DEFINETLY be ordering from you again!!! And I will also be recommending you to several friends!!	„
—E-Mail: Wchstrmale@aol.com. PLEASE TROLL!!

“	Just wanted to let you know, the Lil' Rider is great! I was able to take it a lot easier than I thought I would be able to, the head is just the right size and just flexible enough to get in without hurting, but once it's in, what a ride!! I like the design and feel of the racoon cock, but the curve is a bit much for me to take the whole thing, but I'll keep trying ;)	„
—

[edit] Galleries

Considering many of the animals (lions, tigers, bears, Oh my!) are too dangerous to go anywhere near, we wonder how they managed to make accurately-shaped dildos in the first place.

[edit] Gallery A: The Toys Themselves

~~A Tiger is fine too~~ No it isn't.	Pig. When not even a pig will fuck you, dildos become essential.	Crocodile	Wolf
Dog. Also listed as "Gryphon" . . .	Tentacle	Not sure. Looks like a rabbit with no ears.	Otter
Fuck you I'm a dragon	Mouse. Srsly	Kangaroo	The aptly-named "Ram"
fox	Orca	JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!	Bear

[edit] Gallery B: The Toys in Action

Furries in denial, although equally hairy and slutty. These people could give Goatse a run for his money.

		PROTIP: Don't show your face in these photos.
	It's a sad, sad thing when the dildo you own is bigger than your own cock.		'Orca' model is 15 inches long.