Zeta toy

From Encyclopedia Dramatica

This article does not need any more pictures. None at all, not at all. You can help by not adding anything, especially not pictures. None at all.

A zeta toy is a dildo which mimics the exact shape and size of an animal's cock. Popular among furries who, lulled into an entirely false sense of normality by the echo chamber that is the Internets, have dropped all pretense and coyness with regard to their zoophilic tendencies.

Dog and horse cocks are the most popular zeta toys, but pigs, bears, spaniards, boar, oxen, chinchillas, Quasidan, orangutans, echidna, deer, mice, mouse deer, blue whales (whose penises are roughly 2m long - how furfags expect to hide one of those from their parents is beyond me), sperm whales, killer whales and the prince of Wales are not unheard of. Also available are fanciful renderings that attempt to capture the "essence" of real or imagined creatures with no external genitalia, such as Tom Cruise.

The purchase of a zeta toy is the "skip" portion of a furry's inevitable hop, skip and jump towards the sexual abuse of domesticated animals.

Contents 1 Customer Appreciation 2 Galleries 2.1 Gallery A: The Toys Themselves 2.2 Gallery B: The Toys in Action 3 See Also

[edit] Customer Appreciation

“	Dear Zetatoys; I recently ordered the "KnottyTrainer" and I must say that I am VERY pleased with the item. I found the sensations it generated once fully inserted indescribable!!!! I will send in some pictures as soon as I can. I will DEFINETLY be ordering from you again!!! And I will also be recommending you to several friends!!	„
—E-Mail: Wchstrmale@aol.com. PLEASE TROLL!!

“	Just wanted to let you know, the Lil' Rider is great! I was able to take it a lot easier than I thought I would be able to, the head is just the right size and just flexible enough to get in without hurting, but once it's in, what a ride!! I like the design and feel of the racoon cock, but the curve is a bit much for me to take the whole thing, but I'll keep trying ;)	„
—

[edit] Galleries

Considering many of the animals (lions, tigers, bears, Oh my!) are too dangerous to go anywhere near, we wonder how they managed to make accurately-shaped dildos in the first place.

[edit] Gallery A: The Toys Themselves

A Tiger is fine too No it isn't.	Pig. When not even a pig will fuck you, dildos become essential.	Crocodile	Wolf
Dog. Also listed as "Gryphon" . . .	Tentacle	Not sure. Looks like a rabbit with no ears.	Otter
Fuck you I'm a dragon	Mouse. Srsly	Kangaroo	The aptly-named "Ram"
fox	Orca	JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!	Bear

[edit] Gallery B: The Toys in Action

Furries in denial, although equally hairy and slutty. These people could give Goatse a run for his money.

		PROTIP: Don't show your face in these photos.
	It's a sad, sad thing when the dildo you own is bigger than your own cock.		'Orca' model is 15 inches long.

[edit] See Also

• Furry
• Tentacle rape
• Quasidan's penis
• Faggot
• Dildo
• Giant dildo of death
• Bestiality
• Mecha-Dildo
• Sick Fuck

	Zeta toy is part of a series on   Furfaggotry
	Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Zeta toy is part of a series on Sex	[...I HAVE SEEN ENOUGH] [I LIKE TO WATCH...] 0  Fetishes  •   Anatomy, Fluids, Physiology, Techniques  •   Drama  •   Memes and In-Jokes  •   Hall of Shame Acrotomophilia • Agalmatophilia • Alternative Pornography • Arborphilia • Auto erotic asphyxiation • Axilism • Babyfur • BBW • BDSM • Bestiality • Cast Fetish • Coprophilia • Emetophilia • Eproctophilia • Face-painting • Fat admirer • Furries • Gorean Sexuality • Guro • Harem Comedy • Hentai • Heterosexuality • Holocaust Pornography • Homosensual • Homosexuality • Homosensuality • Incest • Infantilism • Inflation art • Lolicon • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Male Pregnancy • Mechanophilia • Necrofurs • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Paedophilia • Paraphilia • Partial Unbirthing • Plushophilia • Pregfur • Rangerphilia • Rule 34 • Shibari • Shotacon • Toddlercon • Unbirthing • Urolagnia • Voraphilia • Zoophilia • War Pornography • Wetlook • Yaoi • Yuri Age of consent • AIDS • Almost raped • Anal sex • Anus • Asexual • Ass Rape • Auto-fellatio • Barely legal • Blumpkin • Boyfriend • Boob shots • Booty • Booty Shaking • Breast implants • Breasts • Breeder • Bukkake • Castration • Chode • Circle jerk • Clitoris • Cock block • Cocktease • Cock Trapper • Condom • Cougars • Crackwhore • Cuckoldry • Cum • Cunnilingus • Cybersex • Dental dam • Desperate • Dildo • Dolphinsex • Enzyte • Erectile dysfunction • FTM • Fake bisexual • Felching • Fellatio • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome • Fetish • Figging • Fisting • Foreskin • Friend Zone • Frottage • Gangbang • Gay bomb • Girlfriend • Hogging • Imaginary girlfriend • Internal Applause‎ • Internet model • Jailbait • Jailhouse gay • Ladder Theory • List of Porn Parodies • List of sex moves • Love • MILF • Man • Marriage • Masturbation • Mecha-Dildo • Menstruation • Menopause • Misogyny • Molestation • Money shot • Mudsex • Nice Guys • Niggercock • Old porn • Online dating • Online relationship • Online sex games • Open relationship • Orgy • POS • PUA • Penis • Penis envy • Perineum • Pervert • Phone sex • Pity sex • Polyamory • Pornography • Porn Advertisements • Pregnancy • Prosthetic Penis • Puberty • Purity Ball • Queef • Queening • Rape • Ribaldry • Rimjob • Santorum • Scissoring • Semen • Sex by association • Sexism • Sexual Harassment • Sharking • Shemale • Sick fuck • Skank • Slut • Smegma • STDs • Size queen • Stripper • Swingers • Taking A Break • Technical virgin • Teledildonics • TGP Porn Sites • Tijuana bibles • Tramp stamp • Transgender • Transvestite • Trap • Vagina • Vagina dentata • Virginity • Vulva • Whore • Woman AnoniDate • BoingBoing vs Violet Blue: Strap-on Smackdown! • Boob Nazis • Craigslist • Dongcopter • Don't Date Him, Girl • Dot sex snark • EHarmony • Hot or Not • Incest Archives • Incest chat logs • Large Penis Support Group • LJDrama boobs • Mark Foley Chat Logs • Marry Your Favorite Character Online • Dick Masterson • Mexicanicepick • Plenty of Fish • Quiverfull • Sextips • Silken Secret • Xxxchurch • WarpMyMind.com Anti-porn movement • Asslink • Beecock • Bridget • Carmen Electra complex • Centipede filled vagina • Cock boat • Dick Ants • Dick Butt • DICKGIRL ON WHEELS!!!!111oneoneone!!! • Dicks everywhere • Dick Impalement • Ewan McGregor's Penis • FuckU-FuckMe • Girl you must be a • Girlvinyl's vagina • Happycock • Happy Negro • Hawaiian Dicking • Heterosexual Invisibility • I came • I TOUCHED HIS PENIS!! OMG • I Will Beat A Rod Till... A Tank Empties • ITTY BITTY BABY ITTY BITTY BOAT • Jam It In • Lesbian invisibility • Lotus Breast • Penis-Nosed Fox • PENIS PENIS PENIS • Pussyhawks • Quasidan's penis • Rape Clock • SFW Porn • Shitting Dick Nipples • Smell yo dick • Stick It In Her Pooper • TITTY MONSTER • Vaginatarian • The Virginmobile • Yaranaika • Your resistance only makes my penis harder! /s/ • 2girls1cup • Kami Andrews • Danni Ashe • Aneros • Babypaste • BambiBlaze • BBWChan • Belladonna • John Wayne Bobbitt • Body Modification Ezine • Boobpedia • Rachel Bruno • Church of Fudge • Chyna • CosmicJohn CL Experiment • Harlow Cuadra • Drawn Sex • East High School Salt Lake City • Eel girl • Tony Eveready • Fapchan • Lolo Ferrari • Fleshlight • Funnelgirl • Geek Squad • Genital Herpes • Giant dildo of death • Aria Giovanni • Gimps Gone Wild • Goatse • Goatse Girl • Sasha Grey • Hai2u • Hard Gay • Max Hardcore • Kevin Havens • Herge-Art.com • KindredSpirits • Paris Hilton • David Hockey • Vanessa Hudgens • HTS-Noob • Iron penis • Jizztini • Lemonparty • Lithium Picnic • Loud Nigra • Abner Louima • Lustifera • Steve MacIsaac • Marry Your Pet • Meatspin.com • MFX Video • ModelMayhem • Mr. Hands • ObscureGET • Paheal • Penisbird • Penis Pump Sex Scandal '06 • Penthouse • Pit Viper • The Power 5 • Andrew Quah • RFJason_CL_Experiment • RedTube • Ron Jeremy • Rule34.com • Adam Savage • Suicide Girls • Swap.avi • Tubgirl • Two Girls One Finger • Violet Blue • Zeta toy • ZOO: The Movie • Wikipedia • Wikiporno • Wipipedia • YouPorn Click one of the 5 categories to expand the category.