Zimbabwe
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Zimbabwe is quite possibly the crappiest country in the world. If you were born in Zimbabwe, then god hates you.
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[edit] The Leader
Zimbabwe exists in a parallel universe to our own, where Hitler is black. And his name is Robert Mugabe, not Hitler. Unlike dear Adolf, Uncle Bob has done nothing but run his country into the ground for the past twenty seven years. He also liberated it from the British, but no one cares. Mugabe frequently gives speeches about how he does not like Tony Blair, W or Mudkips. Mugabe is a great troll and has provided ruination on his country to the point where it will be trolled to death. Some argue that Mugabe is such a huge troll because of syphilis in the brain.
[edit] IRL Trolling
Recently Mugabe IRL Trolled every opposition party in his country. Mugabe and his buddies travelled the length of Zimbabwe in their "million-dollar-moblies" (that run off the smiles of AIDS orphans) pwning every major political leader that is not Uncle Bob. The most notable troll is that of Morgan Tsvangirai who so far has been able to "NO U!" all of Mugabe's previous troll attempts. But now reports confirm that Tsvangirai has indeed been pwned in the ass by the Bob Mugabe Partyvan.
| —Mugabe, regarding the epic troll |
[edit] History
Last Thursday, the English discovered Zimbabwe, told everyone to "STFU!" and decided to call it Rhodesia. This claiming of the country to be their own was the best thing to happen to Zimbabwe and it prospered as "the breadbasket of Africa" [1], a major exporter and the inventor of the Time Cube even though the local populace benefitted little from this. Eventually the local populace were butthurt at being a successful African country and so screamed "NO U!" in a series of bloody resistance battles. The English were pwn and now Mugabe rules his contry. Did i say rule? I meant lead, cause that is what communist and faccists do, lead into epic fail.
[edit] Economy
None. Zimbabwe's exports were once food. They had so much fucking food they could export to the rest of Africa. But then Uncle Bob started seizing white-owned farms and giving them to the 'people' (his best friends and generals) and everyone knows black people can't do anything, especially farm and feed themselves. So now they are all starving like Ethiopia. Now the only thing Zimbabwe exports to other countries is refugees. Zimbabwe's inflation rate is also over 9000%(srsly: 1,165,000+%, according to BBC News last Thursday), so if you want to buy bread I hope you have a wheelbarrow handy (wheelbarrows are the currency in Zimbabwe, since they ran out of money). If you want to do a fun economic experiment, make some batshit insane whites hand your farm over to Zimbabweans and watch it completely turn to AIDS and dust three seconds later because nigras fail at economics. Of course, liberals will accuse you of being a colonialist pig for not respecting African emotions. But was we all know, Africa has no emotions besides of AIDS and nigras have no souls.
[edit] Operation Murambatsvina
The Zimbabwe government recently pwned many townships in order to get rid of the country's black market for selling food-stuffs and other essentials to live. Since there is no black market for FOOD in Zimbabwe, this means Zimbabwe 'normal' food must literally be shit and AIDS. Living is strictly prohibited in Zimbabwe, and any attempt to do so is punishable by death.
"President Mugabe claims the campaign is meant to get rid of structures that have sprouted around urban centres and are seen as a haven for illegal traders in foreign currency and scarce food items. In normal terms, this means President Mugabe wants no structures in his country, nor food because his country is to good for food from white people. Damn Nigger president.
[edit] Politics
President Mugabe IS politics. There is no win for anyone besides Mugabe.
[edit] Ark of the Covenant
In my Zimbabwe? It's more likely than you think! A tribe called the Lemba lives in southern Zimbabwe, and are totally Jews (for srsly). They had the Ark, but ditched it in a cave when it got a little burned. Now it's in a museum in Zimbabwe. Mugabe is most likely talking to God through it, and punishing the nigras according to God's plan.
[edit] Fun facts
- If you are white and are in Zimbabwe, you will be raped by War Veterans [2].
- If you are black and in Zimbabwe, you will be pwned by the government [3].
- Zimbabweans used electricity before they discovered that a candle is fine too.
- It is assumed the band ZZTop lives at the uppermost region of zimbabwe after the jews got jealous of their look. bad joke? nevermiiiiiinnnd!
- Robert Mugabe is the only dictator in the world ever
[edit] Links
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Zimbabwe is part of a series of topics related to Black People. ☻ |
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