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Zippocat

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O SHI- THIS IS BACKWARDS

Ah, there we go

Zippocat is /b/'s standard response to any overly cute picture of a cat. Posting this on LJ or on a myspace group's page is guaranteed fun, (and absolutely necessary) as it is one of the few pictures to evoke true anger in the internet populace. Example:

Dude1: Hey man, check this out! *sends a picture of a little girl being force fed the chopped up remains of her family after someone murdered them*
Dude2: That's fucked up, lol
Dude1: Yeah, check this out as well. *sends Zippocat*
Dude2: WHY U SENDING ME DIS SHIT!?!?!?! RAAAAARGH IM GONNA KILL U MOTHAFUCKKER!!!!!!

This is the kind of shit that you just know was made in Russia. Though it's not all that bad as the cat would have probably grown up to be the next Hitler anyway.

This use of images is for true trolls of the internets who liberate the *chans from faggotry while getting kicks from animal lovers BAWWWing in pain while their eyes get raped.

1 THE TRUTH
2 How to troll cat lovers
3 Copypasta
4 See also
5 HOLY SHIT External links

[edit] THE TRUTH

In only a moments notice that cute family pet can turn into a killing machine!

The truth is that you have no idea what the actual truth is, but after you read this paragraph that will change. Zippocat and related images are actually documenting the long running war with Xeno-alien shapeshifter's known as "Things". The first sighting of this alien in Antarctica was in 1982 by Kurt Russel, this was turned into the famous documentary simply titled "The Thing". As shown in the documentary, as well as the Zippocat film, the only way to kill the Xenos (since they are impervious to bullets) is to incur massive cell damage from extremely high temperatures.

Since then there has been a long running war between the "Things" and mankind. typically these "things" like to disguise themselves as other creatures, most commonly spouses, family pets, loved ones, neighbors, police men, and other people who accidentally stumble upon the mass grave in your basement. These people may seem normal upon first glance, but Things are masters of disguise, and since it only takes contact with one cell of a thing to take over your body they are probably trying to infect you through your food, too avoid this you should only eat food that you are sure is not tainted.

Typical fan of 4chan dead cat threads.

You too can help in the war on the Xenos:

Step 1: Find a suspect Xeno
Step 2: Drench in Kerosene, gasoline, lighter fluid, or any other flammable liquid (a flamethrower is fine too).
Step 3: Ignite
Step 4: ????
Step 5: PROFIT!

[edit] How to troll cat lovers

Sometimes, when caturday becomes just too kawaii, you need to remember people of the real world. And what is the best way to make catfags remember IRL? Yup, you guessed it, a good old flood of gore. You will get thousands of butthurt replies, and you can feel like the master of trolling for a while. It's like meth, without the ugly aftermath. It should be noted that such flooding is usually dangerous while homosexual mods are around. But screw those faggots, because /b/ is random, and cat gore can also be called random. The gallery below should fulfill your sick needs quite well.

SO I HERD U LIEK DEAD CATS

Where's mah bucket? Oh...			Proven fact: Weaboo haet kittens.
	The African cat tree.		I see a dog! DOGS ARE BEHIND IT ALL!!!
	For your enjoyment, an animated gif of dead cats!	KILL IT WITH FIRE	Ceiling cat is watching you... oh wait.
This is alcohol distilled from a fermented cat.	I'd hit that shit hard		Ever wondered from where those synthetic fur coats come from?
A very happy cat.	CATURDAY MOTHERFUCKER!	It's awwwright, man
	No, you cant's.
	The perfect gift for Christmas.
	Disguise yourself as a cat.
			Happycat's history.
		Thanks a lot for the cancer, newfags...	Rambo haet cats, too.
Bucketcat's friends.	I'd hit it, with a fucking arrow.		Disguise yourself as a cat.
Jenkem makes you do those things.	Invisible		The lesser known gurocat.
Wanna play again?

And this is what you get for your faggotry.

[edit] Copypasta

ways to torture a cat: 1 -- Kick it Around, you know, when the fucker get's in your way, whether it be when you're taking a shit and it comes in and watches, or when you're sleeping and it sits on your face. Just put a little force into it and BLAM! The fucker goes flying. It's especially nice to watch a cat go flying on a wood floor, with all four spread, doing 360's and crying like a Mexican without his burrito. Kicking him from under (like under the stomach) let's loose a flying cat, spinning and twirling in the air.

Happycat does not approve of this article, but LinktheWolf does.

2 -- Tail tricks....This is the fun part...Seeing the cat can't really get to it's tail, you can do shit with it and the cat it defenseless. Try tying the cat's tail to his front paw, cuz everyone time it walks, it's tail get's pulled, looks like some diseased person trying to walk. Or even better, get a nice grab of the tail, and start spinning the cat around using it, the cat will have to take the pain, cuz by force of nature, it can't reach it's paws around to scratch you since it's spinning so fast it's paws are spread-eagle like. If you have glue, and the cat's tail is long enough, or maybe just a tad shorter, you can glue it's tail to it's nose, which is cool. The cat moves his head and his ass comes up with it (how'z that for a chain reaction?) Like it'll be walking around town with it's ass all dangling up, all the other furry fucks will ram it up, which in turn, will make the cat freak when it tries to sit down (get it?). But that's kinda mean.