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From Encyclopedia Dramatica

Zoe Kimball was a narcissistic 16 year old girl from Oregon who always loved to stare at herself in the mirror, admire, and post lots of her pictures online. She did this for years and her camwhoring eventually got her into /b/'s black heart. So when Zoey finally got all the attention she craved, she ran away scared but still she continued camwhoring. She's soon to turn 18 and then she can no longer hide her hypocrisy by playing The Underage Card. This medical definition describes her well.

Some of Zoe's widely available pictures were posted on /b/. /b/tards subsequently decided that Zoe was the cutest thing to hit /b/ since Line Trap. Like with other chan-girls, Anon posted violent rape copypasta, and some original comments. Within 3 hours, /b/ had her name, number, and personal information, and ground agents were out driving by her house. Her phone number was called to confirm her location. It was all very scary.

Contents 1 Ground Agents - Epic FAIL 2 MOAR Stalkerness 3 THE INTERNET WHITE KNIGHT 4 The Plan(s) 5 Pictures 6 Zoe's inner beauty: sophisticated, intelligent, refined, artistic 7 Her current myspace 8 See also 9 External links

Ground Agents - Epic FAIL

“   holy fucking shit i think i am in love with this girl. her eyes... they're so beautiful... i just want to rip them out and fuck her skull until my PENIS breaks, you know?   „   —Anon   “   now i know why parents don't want their kids on MySpace. good thing we're a friendly army.   „   —Anon   “   /b/ we're better then the nsa...we have agents on the ground before we even know they're needed   „   —Anon   “   If you live near her you must slowly but surely gain her trust and become her friend then kidnap her when she least expects it. By then the rest of us Anon (well over 9000) will have built a mansion out of bricks in the Utah desert for the sole purpose or procreating with her. We shall have our most attractive anons mate with her then share the offspring with the rest of us. Thoughts?   „   —Anon   “   tell her she has an entire website stroking in unison. she's the queen of Saturday night spilled load.   „   —Anon   “   Can you honestly look at the very first picture posted and say that you DON'T want to spill your semen all over her face, in her eyes, nose, and mouth? That you wouldn't enjoy stripping her down and making her eat out of a dog bowl? That you wouldn't hang her from the ceiling from chains and beat her with a golf club?! WTF is wrong with you?   „   —Anon   “   Naw. Need streetview pictures... I wanna know what colour it is, where the entrances are, if the windows are open. How many windows there are. If they are barred. Whether there's an alarm system If you're gonna plan something, you need the details.   „   —Anon   “   just start by creeping on by her house and school, and taking pictures of them for ED...then we'll go from there. keep it on the downlow /b/rother. Get enough pics of surrounding neighborhood to create a navigable street view. will be good for plotting escape routes.   „   —Anon   “   You fuckers aren't going to do jack shit except give this poor girl a nervous breakdown and disrupt her life. I hope her dad is a big redneck bubba that shoots a couple of you in the face as you do your little recon drive-bys.   „   —Anon   “   ZOE IS A FORCED MEME! PLANTED PICS TURNED INTO YOUR LOVE ANON! YOU'VE BEEN USED!   „   —Anon   “   There is no meme here. There is only discussion of the stalking and subsequent violent rape and torture of a 16 year old girl from Hood River Oregon.   „   —Anon   “   if this goes through, this will be like injecting /b/ with anti-cancer super-vaccine straight into the aorta and the urethra at the same time   „   —Oldfag Anon   “   I feel a bit sorry for her... but hey. Zoe Kimball, every guy that have seen your face wants to bone you - and you do post the pictures yourself. This is just, as I see it, a free ticket to more popularity.   „   —Anon   “   how do you know she's scared?   „   —Anon   “   does she tell you in bed while you comfort her with your manly embrace as you swear to guard her like the white knight you are?   „   —Anon

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MOAR Stalkerness

The deviant art page above is real, but not very active. After the recent events (scary phone calls by Anons in the night, etc.) the site was shut down. Everything is now hidden. However, check the comments and google caches. It may be useful for you to assume that once someone becomes the object of Anon, they would take steps to protect themselves from further harassment. Unfortunately, Anon is very, very, very good at using the internet.

Due to Zoe's desu nature, she has a high number of fakes. Especially since Brazil took a particular interest in making Zoe fakes. The best way to spot a Zoe fake is by of course using common sense, and seeking out non-famous Hood River residents, and looking for Zoe's friends. The fakes will also have Zoe's friends, but the friends will have different profiles and profile numbers than the ones you've found from the profiles of regular people.

If you confirm a profile, you should put it here.

Most of the following links are fakes; however, they are useful resources for pictures and fapping if you need to do that.

There are hundreds and dozens of fake Zoe Kimball MySpace. Anon has found her real myspace. The link is the first one on the list. Someone needs to find her new original myspace, if she made one. As a result of recent events it is highly likely that Zoe does not even have a MySpace account, or is hiding it.

The growth of love for Zoe Kimball has started to spread to other chans. 12andUnderchan has an ongoing thread, and 7chan has intermittent threads. The greatest lulz threads are still, however, on the original /b/.

THE INTERNET WHITE KNIGHT

Recently there has been showings of several (or one) /b/tards standing up and realising that this is perverted and that they wish it to stop.

That is all so far.

This/these /b/tard(s) seems to have some connection with Zoe and could possibly be a friend or family member.

The Plan(s)

At some point, someone actually came up with a long range vision... not very /b/.

>>67069590

This is how it should go down.

Step one, we recruit a young, underage b& anon to take her out to a mall date.

Two, maybe in the food court, AnonB& introduces Zoe to other Anon who meet up.

Three, Anon takes Zoe home and shows off /b/ and explains how it works, also getting a good name with Mom and Pop.

Four, /b/ gains Zoe's trust, to the point where she is a regular Femanon.

Five, tits.

After the tits part, many Anons suggested different things. Take her to a newly purchased mansion. Get her really dirty and muddy and gross, so she has to take a shower. (Note that there will be many cameras in the shower from hundreds of different angles that look like a small black dots.) Then, once in the bathroom, she will notice all the sexy pictures all over the walls of the bathroom. She will get very wet. Then after her shower when her complexion is nice and virginal, she will see the crowd of Anons to greet her outside the bathroom.

Anons will sit her down and explain the rules. The entire mansion is on total lock-down 100% of the time. The password to unlock everything is "THE GAME," of course. The rules are....

1. You must be completely naked 100% of the time.
2. If Anon makes a request, you are required to comply.
3. Anon has exclusive access to all of your journals, diaries, and other personal data.
4. Absolutely no sex toys or masturbation allowed. If you are horny, you must ask an Anon to have intercourse with you.
5. When outdoors, you are to be naked and wearing a leash.

Pictures

Zoe Kimball Gallery

Zoe's inner beauty: sophisticated, intelligent, refined, artistic

Zoe's hair is fair and an extremely light colored and radiant blonde (albeit obviously bleach blonde) and her skin is very and nearly white as snow, except for the beauty of her rosey cheecks. Her eyes glow like blue saphires or blue stars. And on top of it all, she dresses in outfits that only accentutes her beauty and makes her even more beautiful.

Her form is heavenly, like some elven or otherworldly being from beyond with a beauty no mere human can match. And plus, she lives in a pretty part of Oregon.

So many people on the internet want to marry her. They are certain that she is a sophisticated, intelligent, refined, artistic person.

So obviously someone with such outter beauty has such inner beauty. View her videos http://www.youtube.com/user/zmkimball at some youtube account a stalker/impersonator made.

In every single one, Zoe and her friends act like complete idiots and in many of of them, they act like wiggers, too. Not just idiots that sit in stupors, but idiots that run around like chickens with their heads cut off. Zoe is not only okay with it, this is all she is. In this video, Zoe is even wearing chav clothes while acting wigger. This is who she is in person people, an idiot and a wigger.

Her current myspace

• http://www.myspace.com/zzzoeykins <- the real Zoe Kimball. Age: 16. Location: Hood River, OR. Her page reads:
  

So does this mean she's done being a narcissistic, vain, shallow camwhore who stares at herself in the mirror all day? Well, lord knows, but she's stopped taking care of her appearance, gotten a lot of permanent tattoos, and usually looks really wigger and chav when you see her IRL:

See also

• Amanda Wenk
• Boxxy
• Camwhore
• Jailbait

External links

• http://www.youtube.com/user/zmkimball -- this is the real Zoe because she's been making original Zoe content.
• Zoe's Polyvore
• http://zoellia.deviantart.com/
• http://rapidshare.com/files/112600427/zoe.rar.html
• http://rapidshare.com/files/150732585/ZOEOMGNEW.rar.html
• http://rapidshare.com/files/157802731/Zoe.rar All images (from this article) merged and checked for duplicates. Set includes 314 photos.
• http://www.flixster.com/photos/10735655?gallery=user-797254255 About 500 pictures viewable right in your browser!! No gay rapidshare needed!